My mother is a badass...

[Cootie]

Never in my life have I seen a person have marksmanship skills like my mother has.

She grew up with a mean old drunk of a father who taught her to shoot from a young age. From the time she was five he played her $10 (in the 70's this was a chunk of change) to shoot crows out of the sky and off the powerlines. I guess being around guns all your life and shooting them would make you a good shot, but it is more than that.

Two feats have always stuck out the most to me. The first was when she shot a snake that was crawling in the tall weeds in the woods behind our old home. The weeds were several feet high and a snake is a slim profile. She could only guess where it was by seeing the grass move and had no way of seeing the snake. She fired three shots with three hits to the snake from probably 75 feet away... with a revolver.

The second was a bet she made with my sisters ex-boyfriend that she could shoot the middle out of a sun flower all the way across the yard and yet still leave the flower standing with all the petals intact. She was so confident that she put $100 on the line.., needless to say she won the bet and pants were shat. She wasn't the least bit phased.

These guys broke into our home once, and I can only imagine what would've happened to them if her pistol wouldn't have jammed up when she came after them. Probably would've been shot in both their nipples while they were running in fear.

tl;dr my mother is Neo.

[SpaceWhale]

I'd like to see a video of your mom shooting the flower. Not trying to be snarky, I'm genuinely curious as to what you mom can do.

[Socratius]

At 1/6/12 12:02 AM, SpaceWhale wrote: I'd like to see a video of your mom shooting the flower. Not trying to be snarky, I'm genuinely curious as to what you mom can do.

dont get ahead of urself big fella

[Cootie]

At 1/6/12 12:02 AM, SpaceWhale wrote: I'd like to see a video of your mom shooting the flower. Not trying to be snarky, I'm genuinely curious as to what you mom can do.

I want to take her to a shooting range and watch grown men cower in fear over her grouping. We had this little pig stuffed animal with the head the size of a tangerine a few weeks ago. I let her have it and told her to shot it in the head. She did from about 50 yards away... with a shitty BB gun. How the fuck does that work?

[Snaws]

Thats awsome. To bad my mother is frickin bullspit. I fucking hate her

[PsyhcoWalrus]

75 feet away? Dang. She is a badass then. Only true markswomen can hit a snake hiding in the grass from that far away. Tell her I congratulate her.

[Sensationalism]

I hope she taught you well.

[II2none]

so was his...

[Socratius]

At 1/6/12 01:00 AM, roderickii wrote: so was his...

Who the hell is he

is he the guy from Alaska?

[Light]

At 1/6/12 01:07 AM, Socratius wrote:

At 1/6/12 01:00 AM, roderickii wrote: so was his...

Who the hell is he

is he the guy from Alaska?

That's John Connor. His mother is Sarah Connor. Like Cootie's mom, she is a bad ass.

[AlphaCentauri]

This thread screams dirty south.

Also belated congrats on 20k posts

[Winrar1337]

Good for you. My own mother is somewhat of a badass, but a bitch for the most part. She grew up in a ghetto ass neighborhood and doesn't like guns at all, but she could kick some serious ass with her fists 20-30 years ago, and probably still could.

[SubparTony]

So did she teach you anything?You can be a badass too...

[DancingTomato]

At 1/6/12 01:07 AM, Socratius wrote:

At 1/6/12 01:00 AM, roderickii wrote: so was his...

Who the hell is he

is he the guy from Alaska?

This post made me so sad. It's John fucking Connor. Watch T2 or something!

[BasedBubbus]

Your mom should probably enter on one of those marksman shows on tv.

That, or hunt for Rhino hides in the Sahara.

[kazumazkan]

she can be the best camper there ever was

[Quinny]

Well there isn't much else to do in the South apart from watching NASCAR, listening to Country & Western and getting it on with your cousin.

[MrSaint]

That's fucking awesome, Cootie. I would pay to see the sunflower thing live. I wounder how you feel when you are somewhere outside with your badass Mom. I would feel fucking safe, eh.

Speaking of shooting, have you ever taken up that shit? Who knows, maybe you can live up to your Mom or something

My Mom isn't as badass, yet she is pretty brave and stubborn, which is a really dangerous combo...For her. Always gets into shit D:

And I kind of inherited both. Though my bravery is limited by my common sense

[mandog]

And in real life:

My mum cooks and cleans and does the washing.
She's also allergic to bees.

But you lied man

Lies

[lilfozzy]

Nice troll, you had me till the snake, a slim snake in the grass with a revolver, from 75 feet away, and to make all three shots hit. with a revolver...

[Ergox]

She should have gone to the army. She would be general by now.

[LocoJoe]

My mom has been working in fields since she was 9 and managed to raise three kids on her own. One of them(my brother) was a trouble maker and got involved in illegal shit. Even after all this she still can make one bitching meal and have a sense of humor.

[Steff]

At 1/6/12 12:12 AM, Snaws wrote: Thats awsome. To bad my mother is frickin bullspit. I fucking hate her

I bet she didn't get you a galaxy for christmas, right?

[GreatPowerfulTrixie]

My mom makes me and my girlfriend sandwiches.

your argument is invalid

[MaartenC]

My mother makes dinner! Now that's badass!

And sammiches

[AngelSierra]

At 1/6/12 03:57 PM, LocoJoe wrote: My mom has been working in fields since she was 9 and managed to raise three kids on her own.

Your mom was the lady from the Good Earth!?