Hey! =] I'm Krystal Lee Pender and I can't help but think I'm truly amazing. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, but I think we can all agree that we've got a pretty fine piece of RAW MEAT on our hands. Now, before I come out with my life problems, I must tell you first about my life. Born and raised in Vegas, moved to Hillsborough at age 13 and started my life as a farmer on Amwell Road with my family of thirty kitties. For a reason which I will not go into (FOR NOW), my farming experience turned out for the worst, and I was unable to produce a cash crop to support my raw meat body. I was hungry, poor, and famlyless as my kitties were all dead for I was unable to feed their holocaust like bodies after several weeks. Finally after entering high school, I met a frisky girl named Tina Pender. Strange thing is that Tina and I share something very similar...say, a last name? And what better of a last name to have. WE'RE EXTRA TENDA LIKE A DOUBLE MEATY PENDA.
Enough said for that- I shall now tell you the relationship I have with Tina Pender. Tina is a fair woman with several love handles that I love to grab onto while we preform the most intimate of moments. It gets even weirder when I tell you that Tina and I are almost identical in physical appearance. About a week ago Tina penetrated my human ass with a strap on in the middle of the night and I was forced into having sex with her, although I would not call this rape. Tina humped me for over thirty hours. Once she was done she got up and spun about as though she was being watched by thousands of people, with her being a famous dancer. This, obviously was not the case. The naked Tina Pender stood before me, sweating and red. She screamed obnoxiously and jumped to the door, flying fifteen feet across the room at an unnaturally slow speed. With that, I woke up and started my day just as usual. A day past and I happened to have the idea of a pregnancy test. Well, luck for me the test came out positive.
OKAY SO YOU ALL MUST BE WONDERING THE PRECIOUS QUESTION I'M GOING TO ASK YOU.......IS TINA A MAN? THINKING BACK, I CANNOT RECALL IF THE "STRAPON" WAS TRULY AS STRAPON OR A REAL PENIS. HELP! =] <33333