this one time i got home from just attending school and my parents were not going to be at my place of residence for at least two hours. so, i opened the fridge and observed every shelf to see if there was any alcohol available. to my right, i saw a cardboard box labeled "Natural Light". i decided to taste this mysterious liquid. i was a very sheltered christian boy at the time so i was not aware of what i was about to taste. yucky!! i took one sip and oh my gosh it tasted bitter and sickening. then again, some boys from school had told me that alcohol changes your state of mind so i wanted a different state of mind. i began chugging these "beers" because i wanted to get to this altered state as quick as possible. after about 30 minutes, the so-called "drunk" feeling began to kick in. i felt kind of silly because this wasn't how i normally felt but i decided to just accept it and see what happens. i fixed myself a sandwich and danced to the radio, it was playing songs of jazz and classical masterpieces. while dancing with my roast beef on rye sandwich, i all of the sudden vomited on my grandfather's antique radio. my knees got shaky and i slipped in my own vomit and bashed my head on the side of the coffee table. i raised myself up and slipped once again. after a third try i finally got the strength to overcome my pile of puke and i rushed myself to the bathroom. in the bathroom, i puked several more times and then i heard my parents pull into the driveway. i had to act fast. i took all my clothes off and mopped up the vomit on the radio, floor, and bathroom floor and then attempted to flush them down the toilet. i was nude and still had to act quite fast. the toilet clogged all of the sudden and i said "please baby oh please don't fucking do this to me not here not now", and i had to escape all of this. i ran into my backyard and attempted to leap over my fence. the top part of the barbed wire fence caught my left asscheek and pulled my genital meat clean off. i laid there on the opposite side of the fence in the cool grass, screaming out in pain. my mother found me and proceeded to give me several spankings for drinking alcohol.
STOP UNDERAGE DRINKING.