Guess what I did?

[MushookieMan]

I've been really bored recently, so I took a spool of ribbon and swallowed it, but I left the end of the ribbon hanging out of my mouth. It was obstructing my breathing at first and making me gag like crazy, but I actually got used to it after a while. Well, a few minutes ago I took a shit and the other end of the ribbon is now poking out of my ass. I can't wait to pull it through! It'll be absolutely orgasmic, every inch of my torso will have a ribbon running through it in a tangled maze tickling my innards.

[CrowCuervo]

Make a big knot at each end just to make sure they won't go anywhere.

[Gimmick]

You are one disturbed fellow.

[Manly-Chicken]

Uhhhh...

No amount of therapy will repair the damage you just did to my mental state...

[Rivergrey]

Two holes one ribbon. :x

Naw, cool story bro. Made me laugh a little but could have been fleshed out some more with vivid descriptions for maximum comedic impact. :3

[whatty]

Very impossible.

[slipstrike]

have fun with the agony of having a ribbon scrape the inside of your internals as you pull it through. If that ribbon somehow managed to get wrapped around something on the way through, you're a dead man.

You know that thing called natural selection? Yeah, you're not natural, and I'll never select you for anything.

[Lorkas]

It's like when you swallow a spaghetti or noodle string and one end stays in your mouth and the other in your throat?

[i-am-ghey]

i am doing a project on human biology. and i can't figure out what would happen if you swallow something big and sharp, such as a knife.

perhaps you may be able to help me out?

[backup]

Am I the only one who feels physical pain just thinking of this?

[argile]

That's gay and also nice.

[chaklong]

I'm pretty sure that isn't even possible.

Even if you somehow did it, I would doubt you would survive, "The Pulling"

[Boomstick]

Don't know if trolling, or just has complicated fetishes.
Anyways, that's very gnarly and you could have a job, being a ribbon spool it will be a great job during The Holiday Season.

[POTaTOS]

I don't think that a spool of ribbon is enough to go through your entire intestinal tract. How did it survive your stomach acid?