Last night at burger king:
ordering two large whoppers, onion rings, and milkshake
"here you go sir, enjoy your meal!"
"...n-nothin but guts!"
think to myself "wtf that didn't make any sense"
she tells her co-worker she's going to the bathroom and starts to leave
"wait I didn't mean that let me start over please!"
she goes through a door out of sight
I try to jump over the counter but forget my meal is right in front of me on the counter
slide over the counter and onto the floor on the other side
huge mess, my meal and clothes are ruined
burger king employees yelling at me
run after her into the women's restroom
"cashier girl are you in here!? I'm sorry what I said wasn't what I meant please let me start over!"
"what the hell, get out of here!"
"no please listen what I meant to say w-was I-I want to be with you"
another woman comes in the restroom and sees me covered in whoppers and onion rings with my pants down and screams
notice my pants are down
a black guy in a grimace costume drags me outside and tells me I'm banned from burger king
I demand a refund for my food
he tells me to fuck off
I call him a double nig***
he gets mad and chases me across the parking lot
"wait stop it was a joke I found on the internet stop apeing out you faggot!"
he tackles me and beats me up
I lay there crying in the burger king parking lot for 5 minutes slowly eating the onion rings in my underwear
suddenly the police pull into the parking lot
hide on the other side of burger king and try to kill myself with a toothpick before they catch me
wake up a few hours later in a hospital with a $4,000 medical bill and $500 fine for indecent exposure or something
my mom comes to visit me in the hospital
"mom you said I could find a girlfriend if I dressed nice and got outside...why did you lie to me?"