Tell me what you guys think!
An excerpt from my series in progress, "The Place Where Things Are", based around a foreign exchange student, Bernard, his mysterious girlfriend, Melon, and his best friend, Beanchi.
Everyone enters rave, techno music is blasting like hell
Bernard: wow, this is kind of scary
Melon: NOO BERNARD, this is hell as sick! Or I shall say, heaven vs. hell as sick!
Melon: here, take this hands Bernard ecstasy in the shape of a butterfly
Bernard: I'm sorry, I don't do drugs
Melon: yourself suit.
Quincy and strawberry come up
Quincy: Bernard!! We didn't know you were THIS cool
Strawberry: hahah yeah right, who the fuck dragged you here?
Bernard: umm.. My girlfriend
Strawberry: oh, that weird girl?
Bernard: umm. Yeah
Quincy: well, this is mine and Straberry's first rave!
Strawberry: umm, QUINCY STEVENS! No it's notwinks at him
Quincy: NO, oh yeah, no, we go to raves all the time winks back at strawberry
Strawberry: yeah we like to get fucked up
Quincy: yeah we like to snort cocaine out of each other bellybuttons
Strawberry: I like to put toothpaste on my tongue, then brush a good looking raver boy's teeth with it, and he always likes it cuz he's rollin' bawlz
Quincy: now, that's just taking it too far
Strawberry: no it's not
Quincy: yeah, you're right, let's go check out that light show over there
Strawberry: FUCK YES, cuz were totally fucked up right now!
Quincy: Bye Bernard, hope you get laid some day with that mysterious girlfriend of yours. Hey, maybe tonight will be your lucky night!
Strawberry: Bye loser
They both leave
Bernard: HEY, where did my girlfriend go? HELLOOO? BABYYY?! WHERE ARE YOU??
Raver chick #1: here I am, I love youu grabs Bernard and starts dancing with him you're so beautiful
Raver chick #2: Okay, but I want you to share with me
Raver chick #1: No problem, hey Indian goddess
Bernard: Me? I'm a male
Raver chick #1: yeah, but you just resemble a goddess, you're so graceful, what's your raver name?
Bernard: I don't have one
Raver chick #1 & 2: OH MY GAWD, you sooo need one
Bernard: Okay, but I need to find my girlfriend, so please help me find her! How about if you give me a, um, raver name? then you find my girlfriend
Raver chick #2: Deal, how about Flutterbaby?
Raver chick #1: no, I like Neon Lover
Raver chick #2: No, how about... Indian Goddess?
Raver chick #1: YEAH, that's beautiful! Ahh, it's like an orgasm for your ears! Indian Goddess!
Raver chick #2: Indian goddess! her eyes starts looking around everywhere
Bernard: Um, okay, please help me find my beautiful girlfriend now
Raver chick #1: Okay, Indian Goddess! her eyes start moving around like psycho crazy
Bernard: what are you two looking at?
Raver chick #1: The love, the beauty, to Raver chick #2 I love you The raver chicks start making out
Bernard: No! No kissing! Less kissing and more finding my girlfriend!
Raver guy #1: Yeahhh! Get in on that, Indian dude!
Bernard: Actually my rave name is Indian Goddess!
Raver guy #1: Alright bro, that's chill
Bernard: Yes, chill, have you seen my girlfriend?
Raver guy #1: Naw bro, I doubt it, but I've seen a ton of hella hot chicks, like those ones you were just talking to, but I'm high as fuck so they're probably ugly as hell, at this point I can't even tell, bro