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I went down to the basement 2.0

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Idiot-Finder
Idiot-Finder
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I went down to the basement 2.0 Oct. 11th, 2011 @ 09:38 PM Reply

I went to the basement to find something when I came upon a unsightly thing, it's a rat. This one disgusting creature is about a size of a squirrel and it freaked me out, as it was running around I stood there like that pussy Upham from "Saving Private Ryan" when Adam Goldberg was getting stabbed. After few minutes of standing there, the rat disappears and I quickly ran upstairs like a maniac, I mean it's a rat! I hate rats...

Then one day I place some poison pellets on parts of the basement floor, when I came back to check some of the pellets were eaten and I was glad.

"You're finished" I said to myself.

But it turns out to be a huge mistake...

Few days later an awful smell plague the basement, although the body was never recovered but...I can tell it's that rat. To make matters worse, there were flies all over the room...it's terrible and so I stay out of the basement until it blows over. After few weeks I came back to see if the stench have disappeared, it did along with the flies and then I thought everything's back to normal when...

"You think you're gonna get away with that you asshole?"

I turn around and to my shock...it's that rat...but it's body's decomposed...

That rat is a zombie!

"You think it's funny? I had a life damn you!" the zombie rat screamed.

"Then you shouldn't be eating something lying on the floor" I said calmly although I'm scared as heck inside.

Soon after that I ran up the stairs and lock the basement door so that zombie rat won't come after me, I thought I was safe until...

"You think you can get away eh?"

That zombie rat somehow made it out and is standing on the kitchen entrance with a evil grin of it's face. So I bolt through the back door into the yard and climb over the fence and start running until I became exhausted and stop to catch my breath when I saw that right right in front of me.

"You're not getting away!" he said.

Then I ran to the market place nearby seeing there's people there and I figure they'll do something about that. After I went in the rat somehow beat me to it and was standing on a cash register giving me an evil eye. Not only that, all those people and the cashier didn't bother to do something about it, I have no idea why so I ran to the canned food section to fight that thing once and for all.

"Come on, take your best shot!" I yelled.

"I'll kick your ass!" the zombie rat said.

He charge toward me but I kicked him across the room, after that I took a can from the shelf and threw it at him but he dodged it. So I kept on throwing the cans at the rat until I notice all the people are staring at me and sweat-dropped in anime style.

"What the hell are you doing?" one of them said.

"I was trying to kill that zombie rat, did you see it?" I said pointing at the rat lying on the ground after being hit by a can of cream corn.

Then some hippie shows up and said "That poor thing? You're lucky our blood spiller isn't here or you'd be covered in red you murderous punk!"

Then suddenly members of PETA shows up and pick up a dead rat saying "It's dead..."

"Duh, it's been dead for nearly a month!" I said.

"Then how can it move you Nazi?" said one of the PETA member.

Then their leader shows up and said "People like you are a disgrace, harming animals and even though it's true that we pour blood on people and the fact that our members have been caught killing housepets it's because they're sell-outs for giving themselves up to humans, but in the end..." as I grab that bastage by the throat and was ready to punch him in the face when the security told me to stop

"See? He proved my point!" pointing at me "Once the world is cleansed of people like him it'll be a better place as it is!" he continued.

Then is geeky partner shows up and said "I agree with you, I'm glad you're here..." before I punched him in the face, breaking his glasses in the process.

The leader yells, "You..." when I went to beat the crap out of him and knocked him to the ground.

After that I angrily turn to the PETA crowd and they ran, leaving the hippie without protection, I charged at that hippie and rapidly punched him in the stomach dozen of times before kicking him into a shopping cart and pushed it to a pile of soup cans. I was ready to finish him off screaming "YOU'RE THE REASON WHY WE LOST VIETNAM!" before being restrained by the patrons saying "Okay that's enough, that's enough, that's enough, stop..."

In the end I was charged with assault and battery, but they let me out early due to good behavior.

As for the zombie rat however...he's been taken in by PETA until just recently two members have been arrested for dumping it's body into someone's lawn.


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