Presidential Jokes

[Proteas]

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President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th grade classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the president asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."

"No" says Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not" explains the President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, way in the back of the room, a boy named Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying you and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.

"Correct" exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," Lil' Johnny said, "because, like you just told us, it wouldn't be an accident, and it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss."

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I'm sure more than a few of you are laughing histerically right now, or chuckling to yourself quietly over this joke. I know I had a good laugh over it the other day at work, when somebody in the break room told it. I suspect that several older members of this forum are about to respond with "OFFICIAL BUSH TOPIC!!!" and the like, since on the surface, this appears to be nothing new.

Before you do that, let me try something.

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President Barrak Obama is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th grade classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the president asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."

"No" says Obama, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not" explains the President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Obama searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, way in the back of the room, a boy named Obama raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying you and Mrs. Obama, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.

"Correct" exclaims Obama, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," Lil' Johnny said, "because, like you just told us, it wouldn't be an accident, and it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss."

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What is your reaction now? Did you laugh? Is this the kind of joke you would feel comfortable sharing with people at work? Are you about to hit that "Post it!" button mad at me for replacing "President Bush" with "President Obama" in the joke I posted? Should I brace myself for accusations of racism like the ignorant right wing pinhead that I am?

Or am I the only one who's noticed how jokes about Obama tend to be off limits with, well, everybody?

I guess what this boils down to is an issue with free speech in this country. When Bush was in office, late night standup comics and comedians everywhere had mountains of material to work with. Now? The most you will see is Fred Armisen's impressions on Saturday Night Live, and those are pretty tame. It's almost seems to me like people are afraid to publicly speak out against or make fun of the President, for fear of unseen consequences, even on here.

Now of course, this is just my perception of things, the way you look at it could be completely different. I'm looking at it from the point of view of having seen Clinton and Bush both being ripped relentlessly by standup comics...

[djack]

I didn't laugh as hard at the Obama one but that's just because I had already read it as the Bush version. I am surprised that there are so few jokes about Obama out there, especially with how low his approval ratings have dropped. I would have at least expected some comedians to recycle the old Tiger Woods jokes about how he's only black until he screws up and then he's mostly Chinese, or in Obama's case half white.

[Iron-Hampster]

well you could put anyone's name in that joke and it would be funny to some people.

[Angry-Hatter]

I think both versions short sells the President it's parodying. The only reason I think it fits slightly more with Bush that Obama is because Bush has been known to put his foot in his mouth on more than a couple occasions, while Obama is much too careful to do something THAT idiotic, saying that a child getting run over by a car isn't a tragedy. I don't think even Bush could be that stupid, but DEFINITELY not Obama.

You CAN make fun of Obama, just not for the same things that you can make fun of Bush for (or at least not as effectively).

You want a joke that works with any politician you can name?

"A young kid is walking by the edge of a lake when he hears someone scream. He looks around and notices someone in the middle of the lake who appears to be drowning. He dives into the lake and takes the drowning person under his arm and pulls him to safety. As the person who was drowning comes to, the kid realizes that he just saved (insert politician here)! (Insert politician here) tells the kid, 'Oh thank goodness! You saved my life! I'm eternally in your debt! Name whatever reward you want and I'll give it to you!' The kid responds that what he wants is a nice casket and a beautiful funeral. (Insert politician here) is astonished at this and asks 'a funeral?! My child, you're so young, why would you ask for something like that?' The kid replies: 'well, because when my dad finds out that I saved (insert politician here) from drowning, he's gonna kill me!'"

[Camarohusky]

I think angry hatter nailed part of it with the comment about how it fits better with Bush, knowing Bush's propensity for putting his foot in his mouth...

There is definitely a tinge of the race card in there though... It's much much easier to say things about a white guy without crossing or nearing any barriers than you can with a black guy.

[BUTANE]

I think the reason that people don't rip on Obama as much as Bush, is not because they afraid it wont be PC. The reason is that George bush really was a shit president and nobody liked him. Alot of comics like Barack, so why make fun of him?

[Angry-Hatter]

At 10/9/11 05:30 PM, BUTANE wrote: I think the reason that people don't rip on Obama as much as Bush, is not because they afraid it wont be PC. The reason is that George bush really was a shit president and nobody liked him. Alot of comics like Barack, so why make fun of him?

I would argue that Obama is also a "shit president", and his polling is starting to reflect that. Only about 40% say he's doing a good job overall, and it's still slipping.

I think the reason why it's easier to make fun of Bush is very, very simple; he's funnier. Not intentionally funny, but he was a comedic goldmine because of his mannerisms and language slip ups that were evident in practically every public appearance he ever made. The jokes almost wrote themselves with him. I'd compare him to Sarah Palin in that regard. Remember that Tina Fey skit on SNL? She literally just repeated what Palin had said, word for word, and it absolutely killed.

You couldn't do that with someone like Obama. He's a straight man, not a comedic relief.

[JoNoGo]

I have to agree bush has repeatedly made himself the butt of jokes, and that leads to it being more believable that this lead up would happen, making the pay off funnier.

[Ericho]

Here's one from the website by NewJoiseyWop (he is no longer here on Newgrounds).

George W. Bush goes to meet Queen Elizabeth II. She says that George should surround himself with intelligent people. She then introduces Tony Blair and asks him a riddle. The riddle is, "If someone is the child of your mother and father and it's not your brother or sister, who is it?". Tony correctly answers "Me".

George W. Bush goes home and tells the joke to Dick Cheney. Dick says he'll get to it later. He calls Colin Powell and asks him who says the answer is "Me".

Later, Dick Cheney calls back George and says that the answer is "Colin Powell". Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!".

[Iron-Claw]

George W. Bush dies, goes to heaven at the gates St. Peter says "Sir, you've done far and many awful, awful, awful, awful, awful things to good people however I'm gonna let you in provided you spend all of eternity arm in arm with THIS WOMAN" he points then Bush turns to the woman to find a hideously ugly disheveled woman. And then bush says "Aw HELL! Well...it's better than hell! I'll do it!" So then Bush joins arms with the hideously ugly disheveled woman enters the pearly gates to find a gorgeous tall busty woman arm in arm with Bob Dole! To which Bush says "Boy I shudder to think what awful, awful, awful, awful, awful thing(s) you done!" To which Bob Dole says "Oh that's nothing you should've seen the other guy!"

[Yorik]

Both jokes are fairly unfunny, as are most political jokes. Bush is a shittier president than Obama but they are both pretty shit anyway.

Here's to hoping for a first GOOD black president.

[Iron-Claw]

A while back former president Bill Clinton set up an auction for certain "gently used" suits that he wore during his presidency. Only then at the auction could they be called "suits" but during his presidency they WOULD be called evidence! When they said "gently used" was a euphemism for covered in jism stains. You take 'em to the dry cleaners and they say "We're terribly sorry we just can't get the stains out!" So please for the love of God do NOT buy ANY SUIT of Bill Clinton's during his presidency! *shudders*

[Yorik]

At 10/18/11 07:22 AM, Iron-Claw wrote:

That isn't so much a joke as a weird, probably misinformed story.

[MultiCanimefan]

At 10/7/11 08:59 PM, Proteas wrote:

What is your reaction now? Did you laugh?

Not as much because it's essentially the same joke.

Is this the kind of joke you would feel comfortable sharing with people at work?

Of course.

Or am I the only one who's noticed how jokes about Obama tend to be off limits with, well, everybody?

Give it a few years, they'll be just as acceptable as Bush jokes are now.

I guess what this boils down to is an issue with free speech in this country. When Bush was in office, late night standup comics and comedians everywhere had mountains of material to work with. Now? The most you will see is Fred Armisen's impressions on Saturday Night Live, and those are pretty tame. It's almost seems to me like people are afraid to publicly speak out against or make fun of the President, for fear of unseen consequences, even on here.

I disagree. It depends on what TYPE of joke it is. A joke about Obama saying something stupid?

Not nearly as funny as a joke about his failed promises or infamous reliance on teleprompters.

Now of course, this is just my perception of things, the way you look at it could be completely different. I'm looking at it from the point of view of having seen Clinton and Bush both being ripped relentlessly by standup comics...

Like I said, give it a few years.

[Iron-Claw]

A Branch of the Rumsfeld Family Tree: George Armstrong Custer Rumsfeld

Cavalry Man: So let me get this straight, you came in here with no escape plan, not enough troops and insufficient weapons and now we're all gonna die! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?
George Armstrong Custer Rumsfeld: I won't resign if that's what you're asking.

[Ranger2]

It's almost seems to me like people are afraid to publicly speak out against or make fun of the President, for fear of unseen consequences, even on here.

You trying to insinuate that somehow we don't have free speech here? Open your eyes. I guess you've never heard of our current Congress or the Tea Party.

[bcdemon]

George Bush, as opposed to Obama made public funnies/blunders on numerous occasions. From inventing his own words to asking Condor Rice if he could go potty. Bush was/is seen more as goofy and redneck, whereas Obama comes across more of an educated person. And honestly, how many times has Obama made us laugh with his own words?

You won't see a website about Obamaisms, and it's not because Obama is a educated, liberal, black president that everyone loves, it's because he doesn't create enough material to build a website around.
Unlike Bush did.

[MillsApparatus]

Q: How do you elect a black president?

A: You let the help grow too fond of the white house.

[Proteas]

At 10/31/11 05:07 PM, bcdemon wrote: You won't see a website about Obamaisms

... you think so?

In all fairness, anyone of you could have done that to me since I had clearly not searched it myself. But my point still stands;I feel that people are afraid to make Obama jokes. Why? Well, it's not for lack of material, I think people are simply afraid of being accused of racism for making jokes against a black president... unlike MillsAparatus, apparently, who just embraces it.

[Ericho]

It wasn't a President, but it was a Presidential candidate.

John Kerry (or a horse) walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?".

[Solisio]

How do you get Barack Obama elected?

You put ballots in the zoo!

Get it? Cause zookeepers are generally democrats?

[Iron-Claw]

A while back Al Gore's son had a little trouble with the law he was driving in his hybrid doing 100 Miles an hour and got pulled over turns out he had 200 Kilos of Marijuana and the republicans can't believe it they say "Holy Shit! A Hybrid can do 100 Miles an hour?!"

[Angry-Hatter]

At 10/31/11 11:41 PM, Proteas wrote: Well, it's not for lack of material, I think people are simply afraid of being accused of racism for making jokes against a black president...

If you don't enjoy being called racist for criticising the president, then you might wanna avoid linking to a clip that starts out by doing the tired old move of referring to Obama by his full name. That, if anything, is dogwhistle racism. You never saw anyone ever spelling out the full name of George Walker Bush, William Jefferson Clinton, Ronald Wilson Reagan, or James Earl Carter, when they were in office, unless it was some kind of formal event. When people do that to Obama, it's obvious what they're doing, and it's an ugly thing.

[LordJaric]

I probably would of had a laugh at the second one, if I hadn't read the first one first.

[Proteas]

At 11/10/11 10:45 PM, Angry-Hatter wrote: If you don't enjoy being called racist for criticising the president, then you might wanna avoid linking to a clip that starts out by doing the tired old move of referring to Obama by his full name. That, if anything, is dogwhistle racism.

I'm going to boil your statement down to it's base matter, and give you a chance to consider how stupid it sounds;

You can't refer to someone by their full legal name because it's racist trolling.

Now tell me how that's not completely asinine.

[Kwing]

It's not because of race. It's because of what Bush and Obama have done in office. Bush lowered taxes during a war and got us over a trillion dollars in debt. Obama has been trying to push the country left, but has backed down at the least bit of resistance and has been completely unable to do anything.

Bush fucked things up horribly, and Obama was fucked over from the get-go the instant he began running the country.

[Famas]

At 11/10/11 11:45 PM, Proteas wrote:

I'm going to boil your statement down to it's base matter, and give you a chance to consider how stupid it sounds;

You can't refer to someone by their full legal name because it's racist trolling.

Now tell me how that's not completely asinine.

Not to defend his point because it was stupid anyways, but most people seem to insist on pronouncing it Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

Doesn't automatically mean you are a racist, it just means you're obnoxious.

[Angry-Hatter]

At 11/10/11 11:45 PM, Proteas wrote:

At 11/10/11 10:45 PM, Angry-Hatter wrote: If you don't enjoy being called racist for criticising the president, then you might wanna avoid linking to a clip that starts out by doing the tired old move of referring to Obama by his full name. That, if anything, is dogwhistle racism.

I'm going to boil your statement down to it's base matter, and give you a chance to consider how stupid it sounds;

You can't refer to someone by their full legal name because it's racist trolling.

Now tell me how that's not completely asinine.

Please don't give me the feigned ignorance, because I refuse to believe that you could possibly be that naive. There's nothing inherently racist about referring to someone by their full name, but doing it all the time is rather odd. You never hear anyone referring to the Vice President as Joseph Robinette Biden, or the Speaker of the House as John Andrew Boehner, unless you're talking about them in some kind of official or cerimonial way. So why does it make sense to constantly refer to the President by his full name? Because he shares a name with a dead muslim dictator, and racists want to call attention to that, that's why.

But you already know all of this, so why do you need me to explain it to you?

[Korriken]

if calling Obama by his full name is racist then we got us a whole pile of little racist bastards right here.

[RydiaLockheart]

What's the difference between Obama and the White House dog, Bo?

Obama fixed the dog.

There are jokes for every President. I think one reason Reagan was "The Great Communicator" was he came up with several of them. But I have to agree with several of the posters. Not only did the joke lose its effect since you presented it with Bush first, but honestly, you can stick almost any President's name in there and it would work.