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THE WORLD HAS BEEN INVADED BY ALIENS! It's up to a nerdy, lazy high school kid to save it!3.82 / 5.00 6,605 Views
Finish my organic chemistry lab; walk to dorm; smoke a bong in bathroom; start pregaming with one of my good friends because this Thursday these two houses always throw down.
Walk around with my friend and the first party sucks. We sneak into a nearby house party and it also sucks. We smoke a splif in the backyard when five hot freshman walk into the house. We wait, look at each other, and walk downstairs.
Whilst drinking more beer, I introduce myself to, who I thought was, the hottest girl. Without a response she wraps her hand around the back of my neck and starts grinding on me like a 50 Cent video.
Not being a dancer, I just stand there like a retard and admire the hot butt being stuffed in my face.
Finally she turns around and, stomach to stomach, tells me I'm a good dancer (lolwutok). I introduce myself and ask what her major is. She says nursing and I'm like oh cool and, before I can respond, my whole body feels like it's on fire from being high and just how attracted I am to the girl.
She's like, "Are you okay?" I'm like holy shit - I feel like I'm going to puke but I resist the temptation to submit. My head feels like a black could has infested it and is swirling around and when I can see through the cloud I see blurry reality.
I decide to get fresh air and she's like, "Where are you going?" To which I respond, "Upstairs wanna get fresh air?"
She agrees and we walk up and I'm still freaking out because I'm a total fag and troll the internet and never hook up with girls and I'm high but anyway before I know it we're hooking up hardcore outside. My friend was like, "How did you do that?" but the honest truth is I don't know.
We started walking away from the house and talking to each other about Pokemon and she was cracking up for some reason when before I knew it we're at her dorm (like 2 blocks away). We walk in and she leads me to her bed (my incapacitating fear has somewhat gone away at this point), and I take my shirt off.
She practically jumps on me and, in conclusion - I fucked her - while high as fuck. Hence the title. I feel accomplished.
FEAL JEALOUS NEWGROUNDS. FEEL IT.
as fuck lamoe
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
At 9/30/11 08:55 PM, ChrisLovejoy wrote: as fuck lamoe
I haven't been on the Forums in a while, is that some sort of NG meme? or just improper English.
Great job guy!
I refuse to revel in jealousy because I can consciously choose to show appreciation for your good fortune. :)
At 9/30/11 09:01 PM, cheese-man wrote: wow im actually glad i read this on newgrounds
wow i can't believe i read this on newgrounds-.-
I am pro at being a noob :D
Masturbation while on copious amounts of Alprazolam has got to be one of the greatest things I have ever experienced in my life.
At 9/30/11 09:19 PM, oldhotdog wrote: coolstorybro
I HДVЗИ'T ЭДTЗЙ SLICЭD ЬЯЗДD SIИCЭ I ШДS TЩЗLVЭ
Oh, really. A likely story.
At 9/30/11 09:34 PM, Bryan wrote:At 9/30/11 08:54 PM, Kaleidoscope wrote: FEAL JEALOUS NEWGROUNDS. FEEL IT.Indeed I'm jealous of your fantastic fiction writing skills.
But take it to the Writingforum next time bro.
I find it rather amusing that you consider my relation of reality to be of a fictional nature. Some people, having never seen what is possible, foolishly denounce anything that doesn't confirm with their total thought structure regarding the universe.
To those claiming I go to community college - enjoy your false sense of superiority - the reality is that I'm studying engineering at an upper-middle tier college!
It is easier to hook up in college if you actually make an effort to leave your room - something I have trouble with.
To those claiming I was raped - if what happened was rape I hope I get raped again!
To those who genuinely are jealous - fear not! Life is long and women are plentiful.
This is not bad as your telling of this goes, I can see it must have really amazing for your first experiance as it was so different compared to any other day.
How would you rate her looks personally?
At 9/30/11 08:56 PM, Kaleidoscope wrote:At 9/30/11 08:55 PM, ChrisLovejoy wrote: as fuck lamoeI haven't been on the Forums in a while, is that some sort of NG meme? or just improper English.
Nah man, that's just ChrisLovejoy, He's always doing that.
A spear in your chest and a fire in your ass. I only play as Scorpion in MK games, because I'm that much of a fanboy.
At 9/30/11 08:54 PM, Kaleidoscope wrote: Not being a dancer, I just stand there like a retard and admire the hot butt being stuffed in my face. Finally she turns around and, stomach to stomach, tells me I'm a good dancer (lolwutok).
before I know it we're hooking up hardcore outside. My friend was like, "How did you do that?" but the honest truth is I don't know.
She practically jumps on me and, in conclusion -
and, in conclusion, herpes.
sluts can be great and all but i really hope you wrapped it up kid.
who cares if you're not dating. that's like getting one day at the all you can eat buffet then never going back to water bread and fish for the rest of your life.
those memories will be 4 for ever though eh? :)