Nicholas Cage Is A Vampire.

[Tovi-Noname]

That's right, folks. Nicholas Cage is, in "fact", a vampire. This photo (circa 1870) depicts a man who looks remarkably like Mr. Cage, though, I'm not entirely sure where the "vampire" part comes from. Apparently, the seller of this photo has turned to the most logical explanation of the man in the photo's resemblance to Cage; "Personally, I believe it's him [Nicholas Cage] and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host."

Is this guy serious? Well, he's serious enough to be selling the photograph on eBay for one million dollars (at least, he was... unfortunately, I couldn't find it). Of all the celebrities in the world who could ever be accused of being vampires, Nicholas Cage would most certainly be one of the last on my list.

The first? Whoopi Goldberg.

[NightmareReaper]

Did you get this from the national inquirer?

[FuckSandwich]

This is why dumb people shouldn't breed.

the guy selling the picture, not op

[Mfan]

totally not Photoshopped or anything, because that would be unthinkable

because like, people don't use Photoshop for personal reasons

[Tovi-Noname]

At 9/19/11 07:19 PM, Mfan wrote: totally not Photoshopped or anything, because that would be unthinkable

As far as I've been able to research, the photo (the one of Cage, not Goldberg, herp derp) has actually been authenticated. It was some guy who lived in Bristol, TN around the time of the Civil War.

It could still be bull, but the fact that the guy was selling it for a million dollars on eBay is the real kicker.

[animehater]

I could've just been a great great great great etc grandfather of his.

[dlxrevolution]

You "SOOOO" took this from the Toshiba Website.

[Chdonga]

At 9/19/11 07:12 PM, Tovi-Noname wrote: The first? Whoopi Goldberg.

I bet she's actually played as a vampire in some 90's movie.

[OwnageGiy223]

Well, wait a second, think of the earliest picture you've ever seen of old Nick. Does he look at all different than he does today, except a different hair style?

[LocoJoe]

Bitch please.

[Loki]

At 9/19/11 07:47 PM, LocoJoe wrote: Bitch please.

Let's not forget.

[jjrmet]

Vampires wouldn't show up in a photograph.

[Drake]

At 9/19/11 09:49 PM, jjrmet wrote: Vampires wouldn't show up in a photograph.

Bullshit. If you can catch a photo of an apparition on a camera, you can catch a photo of a vampire with one.

[Rahmemhotep]

I already read the original article the other day. Pretty hilarious how the guy who's selling the photo wants a million dollars buy it now.

[The-Great-One]

At 9/19/11 09:49 PM, jjrmet wrote: Vampires wouldn't show up in a photograph.

That is one of those common Halloween Hollywood myths.

[Wolfos]

The vampire part is about him being very fucking old.

[LiquidFire]

Haha, that's amazing.

[Idiot-Finder]

Didn't he played a vampire in one of his movies?

[The-Great-One]

Is real name is Nicholas Kim Coppola. He is indeed a Coppola member. What if they're all vampires?

[Tribal]

I don't see how the man who found this picture of a person who looks like Nicholas Cage linked the comparable looks to him being a vampire, as this fellow claims.

[Denton]

At 9/20/11 08:03 AM, Idiot-Finder wrote: Didn't he played a vampire in one of his movies?

No, he did played a guy that can turn in to a flamable skeleton biker person or whatever

[Ryanson]

Whoa that's pretty cool.

I wonder though. Nick Cage can't be alone in his vampiric activities. He'd have to have some others, right?

[Idiot-Finder]

At 9/20/11 02:17 PM, Ryanson wrote: Whoa that's pretty cool.

I wonder though. Nick Cage can't be alone in his vampiric activities. He'd have to have some others, right?

He did eat a cockroach.

[Bryan]

1 million dollars? Is someone actually going to buy it for that price?

[Squidbit]

At 9/20/11 04:53 AM, The-Great-One wrote:

At 9/19/11 09:49 PM, jjrmet wrote: Vampires wouldn't show up in a photograph.

That is one of those common Halloween Hollywood myths.

So you're saying vampires do show up in photographs?

[Raiespio]

At 9/20/11 08:03 AM, Idiot-Finder wrote: Didn't he played a vampire in one of his movies?

I'M A VAMPIIIIRE! I'M A VAMPIIIIIRE! I'M A VAMPIIIIRE!

[Razz]

You know, I've never seen a younger picture of Nicolas Cage. He just looks like the same old man in every picture I've seen.

[Loki]

At 9/19/11 09:49 PM, jjrmet wrote: Vampires wouldn't show up in a photograph.

Yes they would.

[DoctorStrongbad]

Would be awesome if we all saved on and purchased the photo.

[LauriJ]

The man on the photo is simply a guy who happens to look like Mr. Cage. Case closed.