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Welcome to the club. Well only my mom is selfish.

At 9/18/11 09:34 PM, Lumber-Jax12 wrote: okay seriously don't be a hypocrite, if you have a family, why don't YOU try to raise them to better and morally honest people instead of bitching about it.

I do raise my kids, and take care of them. I try to give them everything I didn't have. You don't have a clue, shut up.

Hindsight is 20/20, the future is never clear, but I can tell you this, your kids will be just as fucked in the head if you don't put this behind you, you have kids that need to be raised, get to it.

Hey, I deal with this in my own way. I don't go around the house screaming about it. It's not affecting them. Besides, how easy is it for you to sit back with no worries and tell me to simply get over it. Why don't you get over yourself? People like you don't even want to get a clue. They just want to hand out piss poor advice that isn't based on caring. It's based on wanting someone else to shut up with their problems.

"Life sucks, Life turns on you" No it doesn't. For those of you without a faith of any kind, realize this. Good is an opinion as is Bad. If there is no God because the world isn't all good, then there is no devil/hate/evil because the world isn't all bad.

I didn't say all that. I just said that if their was a God, he probably hates us. Love is a scary thing for something as power as God to have. Love, if we can just go by what we see here on Earth, is an emotional that causes murder, and suicide if it is not returned in some cases. Even if it doesn't reach those extremes, it certainly can reach hate almost always when the inevitable letdown comes. Either way, I'm not trying to turn this into a conversation about God, okay? If your a Jesus freak, whatever. Let's just keep this civil, because I have big problems with that ridiculous folklore. It teaches people all these values that they can't wait to shove in your face, and meanwhile, they are the worst kind of jerk you can meet. Talk about hypocrisy. Most "religious" people aren't even true followers, but merely poor misguided fans, who don't really do anything Jesus tried to teach.

Life is hard, that much is for sure, but until you people try to get off your ass and make it better than maybe people of the future have something better to live for.

Get off my ass? Bitch, you better recognize. I am up nearly 24/7 making bottles, changing diapers, finding ways to get babysitters, so I can go out and work, working temp jobs, odd jobs, warehouse work, packing, shipping, lifting, running on no sleep for days at a time. I think you have me confused with someone you just made up inside your head, because let's face it, you don't know what my life is like, and what I do. You just see someone talking about their problems and automatically assume that this person isn't trying to solve any of them? Is that it? Why don't you stop assuming so much and fucking get real. It's a priviledge just for me to be able to check in on here every once in a while. Get off my ass... what a jerk.

You want a reason? Think of Heaven and God/Allah/Jehovah/Nirvana/whatever. Don't believe? Then what will you do about it, bitch moan, complain and just wait to die? Or will you grow some balls and try to make it a better place, because it can be, it doesn't get better with other peoples help.

It starts with you, so go make a difference, because if life really is all bad, then what do you have to lose if your alternative is to just rot.

Yeah, you completely have just launched off on your own crusade, and left us all in the smoke. Why don't you ease up, drive back around, realize that your on your own shit, and try again. First off, I'm not this bum with no values. I don't believe in God, I'm not a religious or spiritual person, but that doesn't mean I hurt anyone, or try to cause problems for anyone. So, you can take all that Jehovah's Witness stuff out of here if you can't shape up into a coherent and useful member of my thread. Secondly, I do make a difference. I make a difference in my kids lives, and my wife, and my friends. The only problems I talked about was my mom, my dad, and strangers like you who don't have the first clue about my life, yet run their mouths like they have me all figured out. When all they really have figured out is that they are uncomfortable with people who have problems. I'll bet you're the type that would tell a rape victim to shape up and go to church. Fuck you man. People have bad things thrust upon them. It's not their fault. They do want they can to go on with their lives and don't need people like you in their face.

Sorry to hear about your situation stereocrisis. In my opinion, you should not have had kids. Wanna know why? It's coz you sound really really poor and I would hate to be a poor kid. I also think maybe if you had put as much effort into school when you were a kid as you put into your rants, whether they be in your head or on this forum, you might have gotten somewhere in life.

yep, my mum is a little bit like that

It sounds like these emotions of your are coming from deep childhood problems that have been growing and poking at you for years.

It you want my honest opinion, you need to cut your ties with your mother and disown her.

A lot of your emotions seemed to be rooted in your fatally unhealthy relationship with your mother (and father), so what's point of keeping persistence in the relationship? Uproot the issues, and never associate yourself with your parent again.

Once you escape the negativity of your parental problems, perhaps you can build relationships with others that fit to your liking and feelings.

And hopefully, in the end, you will be able to rid yourself of these venomous feelings.

Man up bro, your kids need you, if your wife is that fucked up they are definately going to need you to be emotionally stable. Quit looking towards your mom for anything because obviously its not there. Focus your love on your children, they will reciprocate it without fail. Fuck the rest of the world.

At 9/18/11 12:31 PM, Boss wrote: u mad brah

Boss, a lot of the time I'm ok with your trolling, but I just don't think this is the best time and place. Are you succeeding in irritating people? Yeah, but this time its making you look bad :/ You gambled and lost cool points this time.

Stereo, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate and that you're the only one fucking doing anything about it. I agree that for a while it sounded like you had fallen into the same pattern that your parents had. That the only thing holding you to this planet is making your mom shape up, but now you're the dad in your kid's stories. They would be angry at their selfish dad for killing himself.

I come here to give you respect, Stereo.

After reading everything, I can see that this is your only outlet.. This is your group therapy, where we a vindicate your emotions, and I support this because you gotta get this off your chest.. Mainly for your sake, but also for the well-being of your kids.

Some of us may be jerks, but quite a few of us always have our doors open for a fellow NGer.

Never feel you don't have an outlet, my inbox is always open.

also, what happens in my inbox stays in my inbox

Strange how your life story is almost identical to mine

Let me play you a song on the worlds smallest violin.

At 9/19/11 03:46 PM, beakerboy wrote: Sorry to hear about your situation stereocrisis. In my opinion, you should not have had kids. Wanna know why? It's coz you sound really really poor and I would hate to be a poor kid. I also think maybe if you had put as much effort into school when you were a kid as you put into your rants, whether they be in your head or on this forum, you might have gotten somewhere in life.

You are fifteen year old child.
How could you understand what is happening to him.
You've barely touched the world.

I would say something, but I'm just another internet assturd, So I'll just wish you good fortune, Stereocrisis

Even though I may not know you personally I hear exactly what your saying.You need to hang tight is what I'm saying.You have gone through so much.I strongly agree with you when talking about these "demons".How they taint life.My advice is to work through these "demons" make your own type of counter force to these that shout down negativity.No one or nothing should or can or will infringe upon your human right to be happy.

Don't know what you're all talking about. My parents have never been selfish, they always cared and bought me stuff that i deserved to have as a kid. Guess i was born into a good family, sure there are other families that are selfish but that doesn't that you can't teach them not to be.

Thanks to those of you who get it. I guess it doesn't always take someone who has a terrible life, or a negative outlook to feel for someone who has it kind of rough.

I sometimes think that only other people with shit lives could possibly understand. It makes me happy that some of you are kind enough to get it, and offer me comfort.

You know, I think the worst thing that has ever happened to me, personally, are my conceptions about death. When you lose not only your father to suicide, but other friends and family too along the way, it just does something to you. You are changed not only because they are dead and gone, but because it puts your own eventual death into perspective.

I have these terrible nightmares. I dream about dead people. Or I dream about myself dying. I have vivid clear memories in my head from nightly dream disturbances of seeing my father bloated like a dead fish, his skin falling off. I dream about dead people in coffins, and on coronor slabs being cut open for the autopsy. It's like this big rush, about 15 minutes after I pass out EVERY night for the past 5 years. Think about that. 5 years, EVERY night, I get this terror of death scaring me out of a miserable half-sleep, and I have to jump up and breathe heavy and wipe cold sweat off my forehead.

It just sucks. It's like I'm losing my mind or something. It's affected me so badly that I can't even sleep at night. I stay up until I positively can't keep my eyes open anymore, and I pass out for only 5 hours, because I have to get up and take care of my kids.

It doesn't effect my relationship with them. I play with them, and take care of them, so don't think I'm just being all crazy with them. It's just a personal problem. I've never done harm to anyone, and don't feel like hurting anyone. It's just that before I had kids of my own, and had a wife, and before was an adult, for like 6 years I was depressed, and alone all the time. And since my dad died, another 5 years on top of those other 6 years of nightmares...

I'm 24. For 11 years I've had really deep issues. And even before those 11 years, I was really young, and I've seen suicide attempts right in front of me from my dad, swallowing handfuls of pills, or putting razors to his throat. I've witnessed my dad wasted all the time, and my mom screaming at him. I've been around really shitty people that my dad used to bring home from the bar. I had to go straight from home everyday, which was Hell, right to school, which sucked because kids are cruel. They have no clue that you could be going through a really stressful time. Children that age are rude little scumbags who don't have manners or respect for anyone or anything.

I think that's why I'm so respectful, and like people, and don't spread rumors, or hurt people's feelings. At least I try not to. It's because I know how bad it hurt me when I had basically woken up in the morning to my father having a seizure, and the next thing I knew I was in a classroom. Some people just have no fucking clue, and I would never hurt them, I'm just really disappointed in the closed mindedness of some people.

At 9/18/11 10:20 PM, Stereocrisis wrote:

At 9/18/11 09:34 PM, Lumber-Jax12 wrote: uh-oh some one mentioned God, because its not like religion can be a driving force in a person's life.

Your words say I don't need help, but this thread says I do, why not give it a try before you just act all depressed.

Secondly, this wasn't about God, I was saying you sit here type this out and present us a picture of "life" and then tell us how the world is dark/cruel/etc, yet that isn't the case. Opinions change based on experience, while its certainly true you've had rough problems it doesn't make it universal like how you describe it.

We're humans, we've established a mastery over this life in many ways, failure always happens but you don't dwell on the past, you move past it. I think if my grandpa can shrug off both Korea and Worl War II then 'mommy' doesn't love shouldn't be too rough.

You think you're the only person whose had asshole parents, no so stop acting like it. Yes I will never know how that feels like but I can assure you I've met people, aka my friend, who has the same scenario as you.

And guess what he got over it, and the friend is a fucking kid, why don't you use a little perspective first, if this is your attitude no wonder your a prick, go get a psychiatrist instead of acting all 'seasoned and expirenced like your the first to have problems in life, instead of whinning on the bbs.

You're clearly demonstrating

At 9/20/11 11:34 PM, Lumber-Jax12 wrote:

At 9/18/11 10:20 PM, Stereocrisis wrote:

At 9/18/11 09:34 PM, Lumber-Jax12 wrote: uh-oh some one mentioned God, because its not like religion can be a driving force in a person's life.

Your words say I don't need help, but this thread says I do, why not give it a try before you just act all depressed.

Right, because I wrote this thread because of you. I forgot. I forgot that I couldn't just write out my thoughts and feelings in times when I want to reach out and share things with strangers, because what I'm trying to get off my chest is something that can't be talked about with family. Shit, I don't have family that would want to hear most of this. Last time I reached out and tried to "touch" someone was the day after my first born's birthday party when, (big surprise) Grandma could be there because she was at her boyfriend's house. What I'm trying to say is that I'm just trying to establish a connection with people and get some true things that hurt me off my chest, and here you are with all your bad advice, making me feel like a creep for trying to spill my guts. I'm not depressed 24/7. I can't afford to be with two kids, and a wife. I just have my moments when I think about the days when I WAS all fucked up and suicidal 24/7.

Secondly, this wasn't about God, I was saying you sit here type this out and present us a picture of "life" and then tell us how the world is dark/cruel/etc, yet that isn't the case. Opinions change based on experience, while its certainly true you've had rough problems it doesn't make it universal like how you describe it.

Hey, maybe it's the way I talk. I don't know. Obviously this stuff doesn't pertain to all of you. I'm not that stupid. I realize that this is my own little patch of the world, in one city out of thousands, in one states out of fifty, in America. There have got to be literally billions and billions and BIULLIONS of outlooks and point of views. Why is it that you think that I could TRUELY think that all of this is directed at EVERYONE in the world? The world doesn't revolve around me, and I know that. I don't have a huge ego pal. I'm describing thoughts and feelings that I have. It doesn't make it true for everyone, just for me, at certain times in my life.

We're humans, we've established a mastery over this life in many ways, failure always happens but you don't dwell on the past, you move past it. I think if my grandpa can shrug off both Korea and Worl War II then 'mommy' doesn't love shouldn't be too rough.

First off, nobody can shrug off a war you unbelievable bastard. Secondly, I'm getting really tired of you dick comments, and the mockery you've brought to a thread that if you really have such a big problem with, you can just leave. I mean really, are you proud of yourself for saying shit like that? Because you are correct. My mother doesn't love, and my dad killed himself. These are facts. Go ahead and take your best shot you fucking creep. I've experienced the absolute worst pains in my life because of these things. So I think I can deal with some little internet douche-bag talking out of his ass.

You think you're the only person whose had asshole parents, no so stop acting like it. Yes I will never know how that feels like but I can assure you I've met people, aka my friend, who has the same scenario as you.

Did I even fucking say that? I didn't say I'm the only one. Fuck you man. Seriously. I'm just sharing my experiences, in hopes that I can connect with others, just like everyone else on the planet does. I'm talking about my life. This is was happened. What am I supposed to do? Not talk about it or make up lies? Besides, I didn't say I've had the most traumatizing life that ever existed.

And guess what he got over it, and the friend is a fucking kid, why don't you use a little perspective first, if this is your attitude no wonder your a prick, go get a psychiatrist instead of acting all 'seasoned and expirenced like your the first to have problems in life, instead of whinning on the bbs.

You're clearly demonstrating

You're a total and complete waste of my precious little moments that I actually get to myself before a baby starts crying, or I have to wake up to look for work. Think whatever the hell you want loser. I'm not the prick in this situation. You for for being such a jerk about a thread I only posted because I was feeling an urge to connect with others who might want to talk about it. And you know what? Other, more intelligent people did respond with politeness. I don't know why you decided to pick on me, but as far as I'm concerned, you're a nobody and don't affect me either way. Eat shit.

okay fine, you win the argument your life is truly the shittier, and I realize I came off storng, but honestly i though this thread was bullshit from the start.

If it hurts you this bad why honestly open up to a bunch of 18 year cynics and not a shrink, regardless i guess heres my apology, i thought you came off as "I know what life is you 'shits don't know what ive been through ,etc etc.".