Critique, please?

[MaskedGuardian]

This is still a WIP, but I've uploaded the line art to the dumping grounds, and I was hoping to get some people's opinions on how it looks so far.
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/89d2 4dcb47a47db8c272507c388123c0
This was pretty much an experiment, so whether you guys think it's total shit or not, I won't know :P But I've never really drawn people this way before (by which I mean, interacting with one another), and I'd like to get some advice/criticism on how it looks, especially when it comes to posture and anatomy, especially the guy, since I'm not 100% sure that posture is actually accurate. Thanks.

[Nae]

A "Not Safe For Work" (NSFW) warning would have been nice :P

[MaskedGuardian]

At 9/3/11 11:43 PM, Nae wrote: A "Not Safe For Work" (NSFW) warning would have been nice :P

Heh, sorry ^^; that's the main reason I put it in the dumping grounds rather than post it right on the thread.

[ThunderSpam]

Dumping grounds or not, you still should have marked it.

Regardless, let's actually take a look at this. It took me a moment to figure out that the figure on the left is actually a man. I thought it was just a very unattractive female with bizarre lumpy hair. Perhaps due to his ridiculously thin body compared to the girl. Anyways, the nose is huge, the curve into the mouth is too long, and the tongue is really long and hangs out of his mouth like a dog, rather than a man licking something. Also I think his hair is lumpy and dumb and his bangs wouldn't sit like that.

Now I am not too well versed in these activities myself, but I don't think very many people would take this stance. First of all, he is all balled up. I think you would be a bit more relaxed, and thus stretched out. Now I am not telling you how to live your life, but typically when I interact with things I don't turn my torso ninety degrees to interact with it. I would turn to face it. But I get how this might obstruct that giant nose you worked so hard on, so I can understand why he isn't quite facing it. If he was more laid down, then you could make a slight turn to his back, rather than the dramatic one you have now. Also, cool story, his toes are messed.

As for the girl, mainly just a few issues. Weird looking arm. Gigantic hands with mega sasauge fingers, and ridiculous wrist bones. Her right knee is on the outside of her leg. She has a dumb shaped nose. A weirdly placed ear. Gravity defying hair. The works.

Also, that twin bed is really tall, and they have a flat fucking pillow.