Madness: The Beginning and the End

[The-iMortal]

Madness: The Beginning and the End

"Death is the beginning. Madness is the end. Love is the beginning of the end." - The-iMortal

"Hey, Jake?" hollered Hank from the bathroom.

"Yeah, Hank?"

"You know what we're celebrating today?"

"Nup. Enlighten me."

Hank peeped his head into the kitchen/dining area, "It's my first anniversary. One whole day without murdering somebody!"

"...You murdered someone?" Jake asked, startled at the remark from his new room-mate, as his cereal drooped from his mouth.

"Oh, shit yeah! Some great times I had. But that's all behind me now. I'm starting a new life! I've survived a whole day without killing somebody. You and me. We're gonna celebrate!"

"Look, man, I got this gig on tonight and-"

Hank charged towards his room-mate and clutched his throat, "I've broken a record. Twenty four hours. Don't make me ruin it."

"Okay, okay!" Jake gasped for air, "I guess I'll just tell the band they need another bassist."

Eleven hours later...

"Hank, this is a sick nightclub! Great place to celebrate!"

"You think this is fun? I'll show you real fun! Follow me!"

Hank lead Jake to a door, guarded by a bouncer. "Woah, woah, woah! Staff only in this room, gents."

Hank grasped the bouncers throat, thrust him to the ground and strangled him. The manoeuvre was so smoothly done that nobody else noticed the murder. Except for the other bouncer, who, of course, was shot down by Hank's pistol, equipped with a silencer, in his left hand. Everybody else in the club was too busy having a good time to notice anything.

Hank grabbed Jake and entered the now unguarded room. "Woah, Hank! I thought we were celebrating your new life without murder!" cried Jake as Hank shut the door, closing themselves within the corridor.

"I lied. I needed to kill someone. Didn't want to kill you though. I needed a house."

"Well, that's a relief..."

"Here, take this pistol."

"Wait! You've already killed two people! Isn't that enough?!"

"...No... there's heaps more behind that door," Hank pointed to the door at the other side of the corridor.

Jake looked at his pistol attentively, "Hank, why do you want to do this?"

"It's fun. Why else?"

"How can it be fun?!"

"Trust me, Jake. Follow my lead, and you'll have a much better time than you would've had out there with everybody else."

Ever so stealthily, the duo sneaked up to the door. "I want you to kill all those on the left side, okay, Jake?"

"Okay."

"Good." Hank signalled with his fingers. One. Two. THREE!

The door burst open as Hank and Jake bombarded the room. Jake hesitated to enter the room and fire, as he had never killed someone, let alone even fired a weapon. Hank was being shot at from all directions by the suits, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.

Jake poked his head around the door and noticed a man, tied to a chair covered with bruises. Obviously torture. Jake was hit with the hammer of inspiration. He turned the corner and fired his weapon at one of the suits. Misfire. That's what happens when you fire a weapon with your eyes closed. Retry. Prostate check!

After a few more seconds, Hank, Jake and the tortured man were the only live bodies in the room.

"Hank!" said Jake in joy, "Now I see what you were doing. This isn't murder... you're here to save this man, aren't ya?!"

Hank focused on the tortured man. His eyes bruised, blood dripping from his mouth and nose. He gazed as hard as he could at Hank with a hopeful gratitude. Hank and Jake could both detect he believed a miracle had occurred and was overjoyed with their presence.

"Nope," Hank shot him in the middle of the forehead.

"WHAT?!?!"

"I told you, Jake, we're here for fun. Not to save some blackmailing, drug dealing, prostitute funding-"

"YOU CALL THIS FUN?!?!" Jake interrupted Hank.

"Oh, shit yeah. Didn't you have fun?"

Jake began to tear up in anger, "I'm a murderer. That's it. I'm a cold-blooded murderer," he murmured to himself.

"Cheer up, Jake. Come on. I know what it's like to feel what you are feeling."

"No, Hank! No, you don't. You... You are mad! You are a mad man! This... This is... THIS IS MADNESS!"

"THIS IS MADNESS... This is madness... this is madness..."

The three words echoed in Hank's head. Hank froze, as if he had just seen Medusa's snake-filled hair. He stared into the open eyes of one of his victims. Jake was still muttering and feeling sorry for himself. A few seconds passed. "Hmph," Hank snickered, "alright, let's get out of here."

The two killers retraced their steps, back into the nightclub. The pounding bass seemed to be just what Hank desired... not exactly what Jake wanted though.

"Hank, can we... can we just get out of here...? Please!"

"Look, Jake, alright. Just gimme one sec. I love this song!"

Hank was getting down with the beat and getting involved with the crowd. Suddenly, time seemed to stop for Hank. Outside the crowd was a beautiful, sparkly-eyed blonde, smiling as she conversed with her friend. Hank stopped dancing as he stared. What is this feeling? Hank had never experienced anything like this before.

Nothing else except her seemed to move. The pounding bass was now non-existent.

Suddenly, time resumed as Hank felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hank, what's wrong? Are we leaving now?"

Hank just grunted as he slowly raised his pointed finger towards the blonde.

"Huh?" asked Jake.

Hank grunted louder this time.

"Oh, yeah, she's not bad. Probably not the type that would fancy murderers-"

Hank interrupted Jake by grabbing his collar, "'Not bad'? 'NOT BAD'?! She's... She is..."

Hank could not finish the sentence.

"I'll tell you the word if you let go of me!" cried Jake.

"Deal."

Hank stuck to his end of the bargain. "Okay, what is the word?"

"Hot."

"Hot? I thought hot was a temperature..?"

"And what is your temperature now, Hank?"

"I'm hot! I'M HOT! Not her! She's not hot! I'm hot!" Hank grabbed Jake's collar ferociously, once again.

"No, no! It's a saying... I know! I've got it! I have a better word! Let go of me and I'll tell you!"

"Yes?!" Hank released Jake.

"Beautiful! That's a good word. Beautiful!"

"Hmmm... I always thought beautiful meant like, when a clowns' head is on a spear, and the rest of its body is chopped into small dices in a decorative circle around it."

"Attractive?"

"Attractive? M-four Carbine with attached grenade launcher!"

"Gorgeous?"

"Chainsaw shredding through intestines like Eddie Van Halen on his guitar!"

"Pretty?!"

"Fingers chopped off but still wriggling!"

"ALLURING?!"

"A BOX FULL OF GRENADES, MINES AND ROCKETS!!!"

"SEXY?!?!" cried Jake in desperation.

"Ooh..." Hank looked around with a stern look on his face, "'Sexy'? Hmmm... I like it!" Hank chuckled.

"Okay, Jake, so she's... 'sexy', as you say," Hank chuckled again. He seemed to like that word. "What now?"

"You gotta talk to her, man. Get her phone number, you know, and you give her yours."

Continued on next post...

[The-iMortal]

"My phone number. You mean yours?" said Hank.

"Not my landline - your mobile!"

"I don't have a mobile, Jake."

"...why not?"

"Because. It can be traced - what do you think, stupid?!"

"Okay, sorry for asking. You know what? I have an idea! You get her phone number and you tell her that you'll ring her tomorrow. We'll get you a phone first thing tomorrow morning. Here, you can use mine to plug in her number so you don't forget it... and so you can at least look like you have a phone."

"How do you use this thing?" Hank shook Jake's phone.

"Here, I'll show you."

Jake showed Hank how to add a contact to his iPhone.

"Okay, sounds good. Thank you, Jake. Wait... what if she asks for my number?"

"She probably will. Hmmm... I've got it! You scratch your head once she's given you her number. That'll be the signal. You scratch your head and then I'll interrupt you and pretend to force you to leave."

"Nobody forces the Hank to leave, Jake."

"We're just pretending. It's a strategy."

"No. You can't pretend. Nobody forces the Hank."

"Look, do you want her number or not?"

"I don't know! Why am I getting her number anyway?"

"So you can contact her after tonight!"

"Why do I want to contact her?! Why do I want to talk to her?! Why do I want anything to do with her?! I don't want to kill her!"

Jake paused for a second.

"Yes, that's right!" exclaimed Jake, "Hank, you DON'T want to kill her. That's why you want to have something to do with her. That's why you want to talk to her. That's why you want to contact her after tonight!"

Hank's eyes widened. Jake was right. Hank had never felt the feeling of wanting to spare ones life. This is serious. This is... this is... Hank didn't know how to describe it.

"Alright, Hank, you ready?"

"I'm ready!"

"Hey, look. Perfect timing. Her friend seems to be getting it on with some other guy. She looks pretty lonely, Hank. Go for it!"

"What do I say?"

"Offer her a drink or something! NOW GO!!"

"OKAY!!!"

Hank slowly walked towards the sexy blonde. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Hank was afraid. He drew closer and closer. Finally, he was within talking distance and the blonde was looking straight into Hank's eyes.

Hank choked on his own throat as he tried to speak. The sexy blonde drew a puzzled frown upon her face. Eventually, Hank rigidly said, "Do you want a drink?"

She chuckled, "Thanks, but I've already got one."

"Okay."

"What's your name?"

Hank was trying to respond but couldn't stop from getting lost in her eyes. Eventually, he spluttered out, "I'm Hank. You're sexy."

"Thanks," she laughed, "but actually, it's Jackie."

There was a pause of silence. Hank didn't get the joke.

"So... what do you do for a living, Hank?"

"I, uhh..." Hank scratched his head, "I'm a slayer."

Jackie chuckled, "A slayer, huh? Slaying people with your... 'killer looks'? I feel like I'm in the forties."

"Uhh... yeah! Haha!" Hank played along with the joke he didn't really get. However, he was starting to get a bit more comfortable with the situation.

"So, what do you do, Jackie?"

"You still haven't answered my question."

"Yes, I did. I said I'm a slayer!"

"Haha, okay then! I'm a secretary for one of the casinos here in Vegas. Rough job, I tell ya. But it pays well."

Suddenly, Jake interrupted the mood and said to Hank, "Hey, man, the boys are leaving this place now. Let's go!"

"Not now, you idiot! I was scratching my head because I was thinking of what to say!"

Jackie was looking at the two, puzzled. She butted in though and said, "You gotta go? I understand. Look, here's my number, in case you're ever feeling lonely."

Hank and Jake both looked at each other with a triumphant grin. Eventually, Jake exclaimed, "Well, what are you waiting for, Hank? Get your phone out and add here so the boys can get outta here!"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Jackie chuckled again. Hank loved it when she did that. "Seven, zero, two, five, six, six, five, nine, six, three, five."

Hank plugged in the number. "I'll call you!" he said. "Bye!"

The next day...

"Hank, wake up, dude! It's three o'clock in the afternoon!"

"What? Oh, Jake. What's up?"

"You look like hell."

"Took me ages to get to sleep last night. I couldn't get her off my mind."

"Hah! You sound like a fourteen year-old boy with his teenage crush."

"A crush? Like a hammer and a clowns' head?"

"No! A crush; like a... never mind. Anyway, I got your phone and SIM card. It's all ready to go! And to top it off, I've added your girlfriend into it for you."

"Jackie! I must call her now!"

"Do it! But hey, I'm gonna be in here listening."

"That's an invasion of privacy!"

"Hey! Who got you the phone? Who got you started with this girl, huh?"

"Okay. Sounds fair. Here goes..."

Hank called Jackie. After about thirty seconds on the dial tone, he was redirected to voice mail. "Hey, Jackie, it's Hank... I... I... I wanna see you again. That's all. Bye."

"Very romantic, Cupid. Why didn't you just say you love her?"

"Love?"

"Yeah, love."

"What is love?"

"Baby, don't hurt me."

Hank gave an extremely puzzled facial expression. "Don't worry. It's a song. Love... well, that's what you feel for her."

"Hmmm..." Hank stared into space. "'Love'," he said to himself as he nodded with approval.

Suddenly, Hank realised something. "Jake! I'm an idiot!"

"What? Why?"

"I am a moron! I forgot to leave my number on her answer machine!"

"Wow, you're really out of it, aren't ya! Her phone will remember your phone number. Nothing to worry about."

Hank's phone started ringing. They both stared at the phone, as if it were an evil talisman.

"I wonder who it is," said Hank, sinisterly.

"Only one person has your number. Just get it."

Hank picked up the phone and cried, "JACKIE, I LOVE YOU!"

"Umm... Jake?" Hank said.

"You gotta press the green button. On the left. But don't be so weird this time."

"Okay. Thanks." Hank pressed the green button. The ringtone stopped this time. "Jackie!
.
.
I love you too!
.
.
That sounds like a great idea. Just let me get some pen and paper!
.
.
No worries. See ya there tonight!"

Hank had a triumphant grin after hanging up.

"What was that all about?" asked Jake, curiously.

"Ah, nothing much," replied Hank cheesily.

"Nothing much?! Come on, dude, let me in on this. What's going down?"

"Well... we're getting married tonight. Wanna be my best man?"

"Already! That was quick! I guess this is Vegas though..."

Five hours later...

"You may kiss the bride."

Hank and Jackie slurpy kissed. "Hank, I have changed since I met you. Oh, I love you!"

"Jackie, I have changed too. Now I realise I was mad without love. Love was the death of my madness. I love you too!"

"Death is the beginning. Madness is the end. Love is the beginning of the end." - The-iMortal

The Madness

[CheesyMaster]

I actually really liked it like u said it was a Comady coul use a few more funny parts and Hank gettin married?Well not really madness themed but was good :D

[TordLarsson]

I love this story! Sometimes I act out the parts. And when Jake said, "enlighten me" that reminded me of- well, you probably can guess.

this was my fav MD 2011 writing piece~