I need lyrics for a song

[lantaren]

So, I like this girl and I wanted to make a song for her. okay, love this girl.

I was writing the lyrics first, but have spent 25 hours and nothing came out of it.

If anyone would be able to help me write this, then I would like it if you would post so here or pm me and I can pm the details of it.

[Back-From-Purgatory]

Doesn't it kind of eliminate the point of showing your feelings to a girl if it's coming from someone else?

[Rampant]

At 8/23/11 05:28 PM, Back-From-Purgatory wrote: Doesn't it kind of eliminate the point of showing your feelings to a girl if it's coming from someone else?

^ This.

Girls love poetry and songs... when *you* write them. To me, "I love her so much, can you write a song for her, from me?" suggests that she doesn't really inspire you that much.

[auggie2007]

No one can write your feeling for her but you it may be hard at first but if you truly love her you will think of some-thing and well who knows maybe she does not need some song think of a diffent way to 'woo' her or stick with the song just keep thinking about it.

- Auggie

[merlin]

Dude, I'll totally write these lyrics for you. And as the form of payment for my services, when the time comes to stick it in her pooper, I totally call dibs on helping you with that, too.

When do we start?!

[lantaren]

@ pretty much everyone:

I've tried for forever, and I can't word it right, not even a poem... I suck at them anyway. :\

and It's not like I don't love her, it's just... I don't know how to express what I'm feeling, and I need help with that, and the only way I know how to is by song, but I can't write good lyrics for life.

@ merlin:
pancakery already said that he could help me, and am waiting for a response from a pm I sent him, but that could be nice. If he can't help me, then you definitely can try. and if you want to write it enough, then I can give you as much information (except age, location etc) as you want about her. anything to write it for her.

thanks to pancakery and merlin for offering to help me.

[Schleif]

Open abacinated eyes
Greet a world you've learned to dread
Cling to hope that slowly dies
Through objects screwed into your head

Chronic torment without rest
Driven mad by the pain you feel
Scalpels open up your chest
Tattered wounds that'll never heal

opening lyrics for a thrash song i was working on. i'm sure it'd fit your needs.

seriously though, fantastic appealing lyrics is not what it's about. the symbolic fact that you write her a song is what's important, and i'm sure she'll appreciate that. just be honest, you should do this yourself

[Back-From-Purgatory]

At 8/24/11 10:48 AM, lantaren wrote: @ pretty much everyone:

I've tried for forever, and I can't word it right, not even a poem... I suck at them anyway. :\

and It's not like I don't love her, it's just... I don't know how to express what I'm feeling, and I need help with that, and the only way I know how to is by song, but I can't write good lyrics for life.

@ merlin:
pancakery already said that he could help me, and am waiting for a response from a pm I sent him, but that could be nice. If he can't help me, then you definitely can try. and if you want to write it enough, then I can give you as much information (except age, location etc) as you want about her. anything to write it for her.

thanks to pancakery and merlin for offering to help me.

You better hope she never finds out you had someone else write a song about her... Because she will probably hate you.

Like others have mentioned, it's the thought that someone put their heart into writing something for you, not the quality itself, and if she finds out that you got some random person on the internet to write lyrics for you to impress her, you how she's gonna take it?

"I mean that little to you?"

Trust me... even if the lyrics you write are cheesy as hell, or just suck entirely, she'll love them a lot more if YOU write them.

[HowardWimshurst]

At 8/22/11 03:20 AM, lantaren wrote: So, I like this girl and I wanted to make a song for her. okay, love this girl.

I was writing the lyrics first, but have spent 25 hours and nothing came out of it.

If anyone would be able to help me write this, then I would like it if you would post so here or pm me and I can pm the details of it.

dude, that's deep. Someone help this man, he's in love!
Im not a song writer, but here are some ideas. They're a bit corny.
first time/place you met her- your thoughts
what she looks like from your perspective
where or who would you be without her? are you grateful?
what would you do to make her happy? (exaggerate)

that's as much help as I can give you. You have to write the lyrics because only you can feel it.
If all else fails- go for the mash n' dash manoeuvre ;]

[lantaren]

@terabiter: thanks. sounds like a bruno mars song in the making. lol. not sure if that's a bad thing though, since girls love him...

anyone have any more ideas to help me? because I still got nothing out of those few ideas. everything just doesn't fit together well.

I really love the basshunter sound lol. that's what I really want. a mix of techno and a love song! (stupid americans!... even though I am one lol) that's what I want it to be.... but the lyrics, I suck at. If I could have some other inspiration that would help. she's more than enough to inspire anyone to do anything, but, sad to say, not enough :( I love her, but I need help.

[Chemich]

I got this guys, don't worry;

I want to fuck a monkey
Be the first man on jupiter
I want to eat something
This weed makes me stupider

Did you see memento?
It's not as good the second time
I really like mentos
Me love you long time

Why can't you just hug me
Why can't you just hug me
Why can't you just hug me
Goddamn you're so pretty

I want to be a man
Because childhood is overrated
I've got a great plan
It involves getting you pregnant

Don't hate on these shades
I bought them at applebee's
I think your tits are fake
Can I get a look please?

Why can't you just hug me
Why can't you just hug me
Why can't you just hug me
Goddamn you're so pretty

I JUST WANNA FUCK YOU
I JUST WANNA FUCK YOU
I JUST WANNA FUCK YOU
IN THE ASS AND EVERYWHERE ELSE

Why can't you just hug me
Why can't you just hug me
Why can't you just hug me
Goddamn you're so pretty

done, guaranteed to win her heart.

[lantaren]

ummm lol chemic, no XD

[Chemich]

Then this is your future.

[Birdinator99]

At 8/24/11 02:21 PM, Back-From-Purgatory wrote: You better hope she never finds out you had someone else write a song about her... Because she will probably hate you.

Like others have mentioned, it's the thought that someone put their heart into writing something for you, not the quality itself, and if she finds out that you got some random person on the internet to write lyrics for you to impress her, you how she's gonna take it?

"I mean that little to you?"

Trust me... even if the lyrics you write are cheesy as hell, or just suck entirely, she'll love them a lot more if YOU write them.

Smart advice right here; Purgatory's totally right on the money. Anything you make yourself will have way more of an emotional connection.

[lantaren]

well, I know, but I asked for help with the lyrics... maybe a place to start, or some kind of an advanced outline for it, and I fill it in with the words I think are best.

i.e., have it be like a poem shape format, and ideas to get me started

e.g.,
line 1 (a), 12 syllables
line 2 (b), 8 syllables
line 3 (c) 12 syllables
line 4 (d), 8 syllables
line 5 (b), 12 syllables
line 6 (c), 8 syllables
line 7 (d) 12 syllables
line 8 (a), 8 syllables

with ideas for each line or something, IDK what I'm doing XD

[Back-From-Purgatory]

At 8/24/11 10:51 PM, lantaren wrote: well, I know, but I asked for help with the lyrics... maybe a place to start, or some kind of an advanced outline for it, and I fill it in with the words I think are best.

i.e., have it be like a poem shape format, and ideas to get me started

e.g.,
line 1 (a), 12 syllables
line 2 (b), 8 syllables
line 3 (c) 12 syllables
line 4 (d), 8 syllables
line 5 (b), 12 syllables
line 6 (c), 8 syllables
line 7 (d) 12 syllables
line 8 (a), 8 syllables

with ideas for each line or something, IDK what I'm doing XD

Go with what sounds good, you're writing lyrics to impress a girl, not to impress a record label.
There is no set format when writing lyrics, it doesn't have to rhyme, it doesn't have to be in a certain order, it just has to express your thoughts.

Sounds to me like you are trying to over complicate the process.

[lantaren]

it's not that, It's just that If it's unrestricted, I can't do anything lol. I need some sort of restriction, no matter what, but I can't set it for myself.

[boney-man]

You can't think of how to describe what she means to you or anything? I mean I understand that you might like her so much you "have no words to express it," but surely you can give yourself a set goal of what you're trying to express to her? And have that as your restriction?

[lantaren]

It's just that when I write something, no matter what It is, it needs to be perfect, and have a steady rythem to it, which is why I have such a hard time writing it because I just want a format of something to fit into 8 bars. I can fit the tempo to the rythem of the lyrics, but not as easy to do it the other way around.

and OF COURSE I have words to express it, it's just I didn't know HOW to do it, so that's why I wanted to write this song.

If you want the details on it, you pm me, and I can pm the details. that way it's a more 1-on-1 atmosphere.

so just give me some format that fits in a 8 bar 100-160 BPM

[Rampant]

At 8/24/11 11:22 PM, lantaren wrote: so just give me some format that fits in a 8 bar 100-160 BPM

140-160bpm is WAAAAY too fast for a romantic song. If you're trying to get her onto a table so you can bang her as fast as you can, 160 may be the tempo for that; but if you're trying to serenade her, no, just no.

For romantic stuff, stick to the slower side. 120bpm at most. 90-110bpm is better.

Now I think what might be going on here is that you're putting too much time and thought into this. Don't. Love is an emotion, and emotions are not something you think about. You're not trying to reinvent the wheel here: just sit back, and don't think "Oh I need to write her a song." Go take a walk in the park, or drink coffee, or do something to take your mind off of the song, and you'll come up with something.

Here are some questions to ask yourself, which might help you with ideas:
- What do you like about her? (Physical features are good for similes and metaphors, for example)
- What kinds of activities do you enjoy? (Don't say "sex." Lyrics about sex do not a good love song make.)
- If you could go anywhere in the world with this girl, where would you go? Why?
- If you could change one thing about her, what would it be? (HINT: This is a trick question. The answer to this trick question is, of course, "NOTHING!")

[dontpanic01]

come up with a melody and freestyle the lyrics, if its good then write it down.
You can then expand upon it by using imagery and unrelated words.
You can also go into different subjects and manipulate the meaning to express an entirely different idea and get the emotion that you want.

This last part is very important, record the song, and listen to it a day or two later, If really like your song then your ready to show it to her

[Acid-Paradox]

At 8/24/11 06:48 PM, Chemich wrote: I JUST WANNA FUCK YOU
I JUST WANNA FUCK YOU
I JUST WANNA FUCK YOU
IN THE ASS AND EVERYWHERE ELSE

Genius , lol

[lantaren]

@rampantmusic : 140-160 is not to fast... ? basshunter does it REAL well at 140 :D
as for the rest, thanks... but it's not anything I've never heard before.

@dontpanic01 : been there, tried that. it failed miserably.

[dontpanic01]

keep trying you not going to have gold on your first try, or if it's the case were everything you come up with is complete crap then I can't help sorry :(

[lantaren]

lol, yeah it pretty much is that.

here is the song I want to use. (she loves this style of music) I think that the 140 bpm fits quite nicely here.

• 
  lantaren - ml (techno/trance) by lantaren

  Click to listen.

  Score

  5.00 / 5.00

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[Back-From-Purgatory]

At 8/25/11 01:30 AM, lantaren wrote: lol, yeah it pretty much is that.

here is the song I want to use. (she loves this style of music) I think that the 140 bpm fits quite nicely here.
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/4 41749

That's supposed to be the backing to a love song?

Godspeed.

[lantaren]

basshunter does it quite well.

If you haven't heard his music, then I suggest you do. mix of techno and love songs(herein TLS is to stand for it)! I would marry him... If I were a girl or were gay lol.

"all I ever wanted" is a great song by him that I think is a good example of my TLS "genre" (well, almost... to clubby IMO for what I want, but still the general idea) and many of his other songs are very good for being techno-y. + I can't do anything slower then 140 or else the feeling dies in my music. not sure why... but she likes the genre, so I said to myself, she likes it, so go make it if your so good at it, and... now I'm here. maybe I could contact basshunter for help? no that would cost money I bet. lol. would be awesome though.

well, hopefully I can get my TLS backing done. I was thinking of doing the singing in the piano part, then have the synth take over, then go back to singing

my songs structure so far..

[piano intro, builds with drums and stuff, singing here] > [synth buildup] > [synth part] > [different synth part, singing here - different then first] > [give it everything I got time, singing here, same as first.]

that's only so far though.

I just want my TLS for her to be

[lantaren]

so this is actually a really good peom for this song. It has all the basic ideas in it that I wnat (maybe a bit mre personalization) but I'm not going to steal it.

but it has a multiple of 4 and ryhmes perfect for my song! my song may be a LITTLE fast for something like this, but I could do with something around the same length.

ABBY

Author: Clinton Followell

Every time we embrace,
I go to that far away place
When we just walk hand in hand.
I'm in never, never land.

Whenever I look into your eyes,
I begin to get butterflies,
Then my heart skips a beat,
And our lips passionately meet.

You are always on my mind,
Your face is all it can find.
I think about you every day
And know it'll work out somehow, some way.

Some say we're dumb and foolish
Some say we should do as we wish
But all my heart could ever do
Is tell you that I'll always LOVE YOU.

but that's a really fitting poem for my song.

[Rampant]

At 8/25/11 01:30 AM, lantaren wrote: lol, yeah it pretty much is that.

here is the song I want to use. (she loves this style of music) I think that the 140 bpm fits quite nicely here.
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/4 41749

First thing I'd recommend is changing up the chord structure a bit. You basically have two minutes of the same 4-bar phrase: F#min - DMaj - AMaj - C#min (i-VI-III-v). That doesn't say "I love you," that says "I got lazy, so I copy/pasted."

Secondly, comparing yourself immediately to Basshunter, and saying, "I want to sound like Basshunter" is not a good way to think about music. When I started writing music, I didn't immediately say, "Everyone likes Mozart, I'll write like he does... hmm, let me phone him up to ask for some tips -- OH WAIT, I can't because he's DEAD."

Now, although I personally don't think that Basshunter's a talented composer, he has spent years developing and tweaking his own unique style. The girl you like *might* love this type of music, but she wants to hear YOUR song, NOT Basshunter's.

In short, I think you need to spend some more time crafting your own style. Create your own unique sound: someone should be able to listen to your music and say, "Hey! That sounds like lantaren!" Much in the same way that I can listen to a film score and say, "The synth strings overpower the real strings in the mix, composition's not up to much, must be Hans Zimmer!"

Wouldn't it be better, don't you think, to let her listen to a really awesome piece of music next year, rather than rushing the music and the lyrics *just* so she can listen to it now?

[lantaren]

I've slowed it down a bit now for a more emotional effect (got the right notes to make it actually work at a lower bpm lol)

her name is heather by the way ;)

here's the first... chorus?

(and) in my mind, were the perfect match,
you're as beutiful as can be,
And I get this feeling,
when im close to you,
I think that I've fallen in love,
I've fallen in love.

maybe you can see how that ties in with the song I uploaded, but that ones really fast and unfinished lol. that was just a quick, hey guys, look at the basic sound I want it too have :D kinda thing.

but you're right, I do want my own "style" I just meant the way that basshunter incorporated techno and a love song in one final piece astonishes me, and I want to be able to make something maybe of that quality at some point.

but I think that my first chorus (idk if I'm having another, but whatever.) is pretty good. It's the best I've worked out so far :D

now to get 2 or 3 verses, a bridge, intro, maybe outro, antoher chorus, and more variation in the music :D

here's my (closer) to finished version. it's 3300 kb instead of 880, so much... bigger

actually it didn't update??? WHY??? anyway. whatever.