Madness day screenplay: the funeral

[horsenwelles]

(lit backdrop of a funeral home at about 3pm, cars parked in mass)

[camera enters the solemn wake with ease, as you hear the echoing voice of the pastor]

Pastor: and we sit before you today, oh lord! to whitness the trancended soul of a lovely young chap who you saw fit to leave us so soon...

[camera pans an audience of identical madness fellows, and mourning women, all with black torso/bodies while the pastor talks]

Pastor: and we ask ourselves why. every waking moment (snickers slightly at the bad and completely decadent pun) we wonder, why god would allow such an innocent boy to perish in the prime of his youth? in times like these, we can only ask one soul... jesus christ! come on dowwwn!!!!

(price is right music plays)

[camera zooms to jesus, as he gets up in shock and excitement, as if he were a contestant on the price is right]

Jesus: oh thanks bob! i always wanted to be on TV!!!

Pastor: jesus, i think we should drop the shtick and get right on to the obvious satire.

Jesus: aww... but TV :(

Pastor: Quit whining! now tell us, why the good lord, yo daddy, felt it necessary to snuff out this young man!

Jesus: oh him? dont worry, i can fix it.

[camera shows jesus powering up a very intense magical power]

Jesus: JUMANJI!

(boing sound as the kid comes to life as a zombie)

kid's mom: JERRY!!! We thought you were gone forever!

Jerry: dont worry, i'm back for good, thanks to my good friend Jesus Christ! :D

(crowd cheers anonymously without care)

[camera zooms with haste to the door being kicked in, revealing hank]

Hank: (mumbled mess of vowel sounds because of the wrapping)

(he removes the veil/wrapping)

Hank: ugh, cant talk in this shit. EVIL, I AM HERE TO SUBDUE YOU!

Jerry: what!? but i'm not a zombie! i'm just green!

Hank: not you stupid! that "Jesus" guy over there needs to be taught a lesson!

Pastor: what kind of villainy and shitwaffles is this!? you'd better have a damn good-

(interrupted by a shot to the face)

Hank: this is newgrounds. i dont hass' to ess'plain SHIT! (MUST BE PRONOUNCED LIKE QUEEN LATIFAH)

[black screen with a gunshot sound]

[credits]

tell me what you thought ;)

[Cosmic]

It was a little akward, but I laughed when the price of right music played. Can you check out mine here?

[Coop]

Short, but slightly funny. There are parts in here that made me smile, though some of the parts are a little too far fetched. Getting Hank to talk like Queen Latifa was one such thing. You could be more descriptive with your work and make the script more dynamic, with plenty of time given to setting out the stage directions. Why not have some of the congregation with guns and take it on a little further, into the combat?

There was a lot of time left in the competition and I'd have liked to see this carried on a bit, so that we can see what you had in mind for a bloodbath in the church, with some sort of zombie being raised at a funeral. Perhaps he is unwilling to fight, while the rest of the congregation all try to kill Hank, for example.