Last night's dining.

[1337Beet]

I figured I would share a small story with all of you. Last night I called up my girlfriend and told her we would be going out to the local bistro for an expensive dining event. Naturally she said yes without any hesitation, so I had my limo prepped with Merlot and fragrance. Once she and I were in the car I had realized something terrible: I had neglected to make reservations at said eatery.

Donna wanted to make love on the way to the restaurant, but I was at this point far too stressed for sexual encounter and I quickly pulled out my new iPhone and rang up the bistro. I was informed there were no more reservation openings left.

Tears building up along with a severe lump in my throat I knew something had to be done. I told my driver to bring me to a commonplace eatery in an elaborate ruse to cover my failure. When we arrived an an Applebee's I nearly threw up.

"Hello I'm your server Becky! What can I get for you?"

Knowing my pride was at stake for coming to such a shithole, I retorted:

"Your restaurant is garbage and your face is bothering me. I want a more attractive server."

Now it was Becky who had tears in her eyes and a lump in her gullet.

"Hurry along and fix me a salad of some type. Oh and if you are the one to deliver it I'll have you fired."

The entire time, my girlfriend was in hysterics, laughing at my clever humor. We wound up leaving afterword and not leaving a tip for either of my servers. Once back at my penthouse, we ravaged each other for twelve hours.

It just goes to show if you don't settle for the best, you may not get it.

[PeterM]

I drifted off halfway through that paragraph, as did this red squirrel.