Hi Newgrounds, I don't come here often. When I do, I mostly have something to say that I don't want to say elsewhere because I don't want people to think I'm odd.
Anyways, I need your guy's help/opinion on something: what's wrong with me?
I've self-diagnose myself as being somewhat Schizophrenic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophre nia). I used to hear voices when I went to bed when I was younger. I went to countless therapists with my mom to figure out what was wrong with me, and none of them helped. The voices continued and just suddenly stopped when I got a little older (around 9 or 10).
I am very paranoid now when I go to bed. I hear things (not voices) that aren't there. I have these dreams, and in those dreams I know that I'm asleep and dreaming. Then my subconcious wakes up and I know that I'm awake, but my concious doesn't wake up, so I'm just laying there, helpless. My heart starts beating harder and harder, I try to make noises to wake myself up, but nothing works. I sometimes here noises when I'm in that state, like a drill or voices. I then suddenly wake up, sweating.
I was deprived of a father when I was growing up. My father-figure was my grandfather, but he didn't teach me life lessons that involved discipline or respect. My mom had numerous boyfriends when I was growing up, all of which just wanted sex. They didn't care about me or my mom. Then my stepfather came along when I was 10 or 11, and I thought he was just going to do the same. He turned out to be a nice, but stern, guy. I am happy I finally have a father in my life.
I feel like I don't have any friends, even though I talk to the same people everyday. I feel like they're always leaving me behind to do things on their own, and I feel like they're always talking about me behind my back. I feel like if I say one wrong thing, they'll instantly get annoyed by it and hate me.
I get flare ups of anger and depression. My mom will be talking to me and I'll just get so pissed for no reason. Or I'll be lying in bed, thinking about my life, and I'll get so depressed that I'll start crying.
I have self-diagnosed myself as being a paranoid schizophrenic. Among this, I have been officialy diagnosed with tourettes. I am too embarassed to discuss this with my family, for fear they'll think I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about. I want to get help, I don't want to live like this. I feel that sometimes the only way to stop this is suicide. I feel better when I smoke marijuana, and I feel like I'm accepted by something bigger, but that doesn't last forever. I don't know what to do, Newgrounds.
To everybody who read all of this, thank you.
Keep strong buddy - I don't know exactly what you want us to say but that's all I feel I can say.
go see a doctor
schizophrenics make up about 1% of the population, so it's not as uncommon as you might think
Go see a doctor and be sure of what's happening.
Hang in there bro.
Pretend not to care about anything, but be bothered by everything.
You may be fast on the roads but it's no use on the track.
ScaryPicnic made me do it.My letterboxd.
My brother has Asburger's syndrome, which includes torretes, so I have some idea of what you're going through.
Just keep strong, man. We all have our issues to deal with.
...It must suck to be in your position.
you seem more of a schizoaffective
however I would advise to not trust your own self-diagnoses, nor mine being I have yet to communicate to you personally.
Try talking to a doctor.
“You only live twice: Once when you're born, and once when you look death in the face.”
Never self diagnose. That is your problem. If you think you have issues, see a professional.
You're not schizophrenic, you're a fucking hypochondriac. Go back to being normal like everyone else.
Please disregard all of my pre-2013 posts. I was young and borderline retarded.
Im no Doctor but I have been around, most of the answers above are solutions you should consider. you must know that no body is really odd. you should never think your ever alone in this world. I always belived that a defect/diffrence/ etc that you have never stops you from beaing humen. Infact it makes the world more interesting. I for one have a disorder that will always be in my life but I always use it as a strength never a thing that would hold me back. hold on there as they said, you should never give up , it is the worst thing a person can do to themselfs.
When you need me.... I will be there
Thank you guys. I really want to find help, but I can't go to a doctor on my own because I don't have a car.
How should I approach my parents about this? I'm afraid of what they might think of me if I tell them all this. I'm afraid they might treat me differently. I am only 14, and I'm afraid that they'll think I'm too young to know what I'm talking about. I have done alot of reasearch on schizophrenia and paranoia, and I'm sure I don't know everything there is to know, but I know enough.
I really want to seek help and get a real diagnoses from a doctor or physcaratist. And to who posted the Schizoaffective link, thank you, I will have to research that some more.
Well if you have really loving family they will hear you out if you establish seriousness. Just dont overdo it. Parents are there to help you.
When you need me.... I will be there
At 7/2/11 08:47 PM, J-Cobyz wrote: Hey, its a health problem, is something you cant help, your parents must be aware of your state, they will get it. Its not like sayin Im Gay to a machist dad, or saying Im atheist to a super religious family, is a health problem, and your parents not knowing may result in further health problems, and maybe anger from your parents for not telling them earilier
Exactly
When you need me.... I will be there
You should pray for help from above and beyond your reasoning
It might just wear off with time. I have Asperger Syndrome and it was bad when I was younger, so bad most professionals thought I was autistic. Then it just kinda...went away. It probably had something to do with socializing with other kids, but what the hell do I know. I'm still pretty weird to this day, anywho.
did someone just say feel better when they smoke marijuana! bingo lingo ringo go with that. become a gigantic stoney stoner
I'm an instigator
Sorry if this sounds patronizing, but it's probably because you're still in your teens and your mind and body are changing. Having mood swings, depression, and anxiety is normal. You sound a little paranoid but that's all. If you're concerned, then I would talk to a psychologist, not us.
At 7/2/11 07:45 PM, EmperorOfSwag wrote: go see a doctor
Umm...he did mention he went to therapists...
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At 7/3/11 04:52 AM, Gimmick wrote:At 7/2/11 07:45 PM, EmperorOfSwag wrote: go see a doctorUmm...he did mention he went to therapists...
Yes, but that was some time ago. Now that I have some idea of what I'm feeling, I may be able to describe it to a therapist.
I have decided to wait and see how this whole thing plays out. If it gets too overwhelming to where it pushes me to the brink of suicide, I will discuss this with my parents.
I feel like Newgrounds is my refuge now. I may be coming here more often to seek opinions on this whole thing. Thank you guys.
At 7/2/11 07:42 PM, Longhorn97 wrote: Then my subconcious wakes up and I know that I'm awake, but my concious doesn't wake up, so I'm just laying there, helpless. My heart starts beating harder and harder, I try to make noises to wake myself up, but nothing works. I sometimes here noises when I'm in that state, like a drill or voices. I then suddenly wake up, sweating.
Isn't this called sleep paralysis? I get that sometimes. It's weird and scary as fuck.
as for everything else, DAT PUBERTY
At 7/3/11 06:50 PM, JaY11 wrote: as for everything else, DAT PUBERTY
I'm hoping it's just puberty, which is why I decided to wait this out. But other don't seem like they're going through what I'm going through, but of course I can't read minds.
I feel like kind of keeping this thread as a journal of some sort, not that you guys would care about what's going on in my life. But I feel like I just need to talk about this with people, and I'd prefer to talk about it with people that don't know me personally right now, if that makes any sense.
At 7/3/11 07:22 PM, Longhorn97 wrote:At 7/3/11 06:50 PM, JaY11 wrote: as for everything else, DAT PUBERTYI'm hoping it's just puberty, which is why I decided to wait this out. But other don't seem like they're going through what I'm going through, but of course I can't read minds.
Well you're approaching this in a much more mature way than I first expected. People going through puberty tend to be quite vocal about their problems.
At 7/3/11 07:43 PM, JaY11 wrote: Well you're approaching this in a much more mature way than I first expected. People going through puberty tend to be quite vocal about their problems.
How did you first expect me to approach this, if you don't mind me asking?
I have been told I'm alot smarter than average for my age group. I took a reading test in 6th grade, and I was reading on a post-highscool level. I don't know my IQ, of course, I'm just basing this on what teachers and therapists told me.
I'm not a very vocal person when it comes to problems. My problems are my problems, and I don't need to force them on other people. But I do feel the need to talk about this "problem", however, because I'm afraid it may effect me in the long run.
No. First of all, schizophrenia is very rare in children, symptoms usually don't start showing until the early 20s.
Second of all, what you are describing are hypnagogic hallucinations. They are actually quite common, I get them sometimes. And I know of some people where it happens often. So experiencing these things while falling asleep is not schizophrenia, it's just a normal occurrence.
The dreams where you know you are dreaming are called lucid dreams, and again a normal, though somewhat uncommon phenomenon. Definitely not schizophrenic.
The third part, about waking up and feeling helpless, is called sleep paralysis. Everyone is paralyzed when they dream (in REM mode of sleep) so you don't act out dreams. However, some people will wake up but the body is still asleep and paralyzed. In this state, one feels uneasy and can hallucinate and/or feel like there is an evil presence in the room. Again, uncommon yet normal, and not schizophrenia.
This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but you're fine. Go research these things yourself if you don't believe me. If you still feel like something's wrong, go see a doctor. But I doubt he'll tell you anything different.
At 7/3/11 08:09 PM, backup wrote: No. First of all, schizophrenia is very rare in children, symptoms usually don't start showing until the early 20s.
Second of all, what you are describing are hypnagogic hallucinations. They are actually quite common, I get them sometimes. And I know of some people where it happens often. So experiencing these things while falling asleep is not schizophrenia, it's just a normal occurrence.
The dreams where you know you are dreaming are called lucid dreams, and again a normal, though somewhat uncommon phenomenon. Definitely not schizophrenic.
The third part, about waking up and feeling helpless, is called sleep paralysis. Everyone is paralyzed when they dream (in REM mode of sleep) so you don't act out dreams. However, some people will wake up but the body is still asleep and paralyzed. In this state, one feels uneasy and can hallucinate and/or feel like there is an evil presence in the room. Again, uncommon yet normal, and not schizophrenia.
This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but you're fine. Go research these things yourself if you don't believe me. If you still feel like something's wrong, go see a doctor. But I doubt he'll tell you anything different.
I did research sleep paralysis, and it is exactly what was happening. I in no way intended for that to mean I had Schizophrenia. I do what to see a doctor to just get an official diagnoses if I have Schziophrenia or not, but the problem is I'm scared to talk about it with my parents.
By the way, I don't mean for that to sound like I'm retalliating.
At 7/3/11 08:16 PM, Longhorn97 wrote: I did research sleep paralysis, and it is exactly what was happening. I in no way intended for that to mean I had Schizophrenia. I do what to see a doctor to just get an official diagnoses if I have Schziophrenia or not, but the problem is I'm scared to talk about it with my parents.
Are these the only occurrences that make you think you have schizophrenia? If that's the case, you don't have it. Reread everything I said, it's all completely normal. Also, like I said, schizophrenia is very rare in children and if you had it, you and everyone else would know for a fact.
At 7/3/11 08:18 PM, backup wrote: Are these the only occurrences that make you think you have schizophrenia? If that's the case, you don't have it. Reread everything I said, it's all completely normal. Also, like I said, schizophrenia is very rare in children and if you had it, you and everyone else would know for a fact.
I honestly think I'm mostly paranoid, which is kind of obvious in my original post in the "friends" paragraph.
I have researched Schizophrenia, and according to Wikipedia, people with Schizophrenia sometimes have delusions and auditory hallucinations, which I do. I convince myself that I have no friends and everybody hates me, and I convince myself my step dad is always hiding something from me and trying to get away from me. I'm not a clingy person at all. I don't really know how to explain any of this, this is the best way I could put it.
I assume I have somewhat disorganized thinking, but like I said, I cannot read peoples minds. My weak reasoning behind this is I am way smarter than average for my age group and I believe I think differently then others.
At 7/3/11 08:25 PM, Longhorn97 wrote: I honestly think I'm mostly paranoid, which is kind of obvious in my original post in the "friends" paragraph.
One can be paranoid but not schizophrenic.
I have researched Schizophrenia, and according to Wikipedia, people with Schizophrenia sometimes have delusions and auditory hallucinations, which I do.
Yes, but are they happening during the day while you're awake, or while you're falling asleep? Like I said, if they are only happening while you fall asleep it's normal.
I convince myself that I have no friends and everybody hates me, and I convince myself my step dad is always hiding something from me and trying to get away from me. I'm not a clingy person at all. I don't really know how to explain any of this, this is the best way I could put it.
This is common in people your age. It's called puberty and raging hormones. I went through it, and I'm sure most other people did too.
I assume I have somewhat disorganized thinking, but like I said, I cannot read peoples minds. My weak reasoning behind this is I am way smarter than average for my age group and I believe I think differently then others.
Lots of people have "disorganized" thinking to an extent. It's kind of a prerequisite to be a genius, really. So like you said, it could just be due to your intelligence. To get an idea of the type of disorganized thinking that those with schizophrenia suffer from, look up word salad. When they speak or write, sometimes they say things that make no sense at all and look garbled.
At 7/3/11 07:52 PM, Longhorn97 wrote:At 7/3/11 07:43 PM, JaY11 wrote: Well you're approaching this in a much more mature way than I first expected. People going through puberty tend to be quite vocal about their problems.How did you first expect me to approach this, if you don't mind me asking?
Well it's not so much how you approached it, when I first read the thread it sort of came across as your typical teen looking for attention because of mental problems they wish they had. If you know what I mean.
At 7/3/11 08:31 PM, backup wrote: One can be paranoid but not schizophrenic.
Yes, but are they happening during the day while you're awake, or while you're falling asleep? Like I said, if they are only happening while you fall asleep it's normal.
Mostly when I'm falling asleep. When I'm home alone during the night, I think I hear and see things that aren't there, but again, that's probably just paranoia.
This is common in people your age. It's called puberty and raging hormones. I went through it, and I'm sure most other people did too.
Lots of people have "disorganized" thinking to an extent. It's kind of a prerequisite to be a genius, really. So like you said, it could just be due to your intelligence. To get an idea of the type of disorganized thinking that those with schizophrenia suffer from, look up word salad. When they speak or write, sometimes they say things that make no sense at all and look garbled.
I don't believe I (for lack of a better term) say things to form a "word salad". I do have tourettes, and in my case I don't say swear words for no reason, but I have ticks and I sometimes say something to myself that I think is funny. That might be normal, and me having tourettes has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but I thought I should just throw that in here.
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