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Advanced Masturbation Techniques

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Sanch
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Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:43:23 Reply

Advanced Masturbation Techniques

NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS THREAD

NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS THREAD

NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS THREAD

NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS THREAD

NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS THREAD

NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS THREAD

Ok, now that we're rid of the 3% of the BBS that is fat girls and 24% of it that is people pretending to be fat girls and 61% that is people too physically immature to perfect basic masturbation techniques, this thread is me and you. We have many things in common.

You know how to work a cock-- your cock.

You've spent years figuring out every nook and cranny of your cock. You've perfected it, a veteran's instrument of cum.

Personally, I've put in a prince albert and have replaced my hand with a hook.


you talk a good one but u dont do what your supposed to do

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Gerbil
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:44:56 Reply

At 6/27/11 01:43 AM, Sanch wrote: me and you

This is obviously meant for someone else, I'll just be on my way


Steam | TF2BP

Sig by armorfag or whatever

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Light
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:45:03 Reply

I'll hand it to you Sanch--You made the most original thread in the past 24 hours.


I was formerly known as "Jedi-Master."

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

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King-Rat
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:47:24 Reply

Sandpaper

Entice
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:51:22 Reply

I usually put two pillows end to end and hump them doggy style.

Sanch
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:54:11 Reply

That goes along with one of my biggest fantasy's. To become a Muscular cum producing monster. I have always fantasized of being forced to take cum volume enhancing suppliments/drugs and hooked up a milking machine untill I produce enough cum that my balls grow in size due to the experience and be required to be milked multiples times of day because of it.


you talk a good one but u dont do what your supposed to do

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Sensationalism
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:59:21 Reply

Does your hand hold the hook or did you chop your hand off? I need to know to get this technique down right.


The sig that I'm wearin? Awesomely made by Skaren!
Also, I like annoying Americans by calling English football "real football" and American football "rugby".-Lost-Chances

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Gobblemeister
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:59:37 Reply

I am very good at touching myself

I've watched videos about it

Smittytheghost
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 01:59:53 Reply

I use me own semen as lubricant. I keep it in a jar.

SpaceWhale
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 02:00:43 Reply

At 6/27/11 01:59 AM, Smittytheghost wrote: I use me own semen as lubricant. I keep it in a jar.

Ew, wouldn't it get all crusty and shit?


Can you feel it mister Krabs?

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Sanch
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 02:20:08 Reply

At 6/27/11 01:59 AM, Sensationalism wrote: Does your hand hold the hook or did you chop your hand off? I need to know to get this technique down right.

i replaced my hand with a hook


you talk a good one but u dont do what your supposed to do

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Boss
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 02:22:25 Reply

backflips. backflips


I'm an instigator

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l0vemetal
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 02:26:07 Reply

i shuve it in my mouth.


domestic violence can be funny too!

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Falonefal
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 02:34:31 Reply

Use girlfriend to masturbate your cock with her pussy.


Tick Tock

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Finalfina
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 02:35:33 Reply

One word: Toothpaste.


Thank you Ryan for the AWESOME sig!
REDESIGN FINALLY!! YESSSS!!! | MLP: FiM Crew | Anime Club

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Politicalzero
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 02:37:01 Reply

At 6/27/11 02:00 AM, Space-Whale wrote:
At 6/27/11 01:59 AM, Smittytheghost wrote: I use me own semen as lubricant. I keep it in a jar.
Ew, wouldn't it get all crusty and shit?

Not if you masturbate often enough.


I'm schizophrenic

and so am I.

SpaceWhale
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 02:48:08 Reply

At 6/27/11 02:35 AM, Finalfina wrote: One word: Toothpaste.

Two words: Icy Hot


Can you feel it mister Krabs?

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SolXeroEraser
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:13:52 Reply

At 6/27/11 01:45 AM, Jedi-Master wrote: I'll hand it to you Sanch--You made the most original thread in the past 24 hours.

LOL,he said he'll HAND it to you.


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Gobblemeister
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:24:36 Reply

At 6/27/11 02:20 AM, Sanch wrote:
At 6/27/11 01:59 AM, Sensationalism wrote: Does your hand hold the hook or did you chop your hand off? I need to know to get this technique down right.
i replaced my hand with a hook

WHAT HAPPENED TO 'NO GIRLS ALLOWED'?!

Sanch
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:26:30 Reply

At 6/27/11 03:24 AM, Gobblemeister wrote: WHAT HAPPENED TO 'NO GIRLS ALLOWED'?!

what who where


you talk a good one but u dont do what your supposed to do

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poxpower
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:41:16 Reply

I just can't come unless I hang upside down with a gimp mask and a clarinet up my ass.


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Lintire
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:43:01 Reply

I do that thing where I treat my penis like a pump and think of incredibly degenerate acts at the same time. Although that Prince Albert and Hook deal sounds incredibly hot (also Icy Hot should get thrown into the deal).

Steff
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:43:17 Reply

At 6/27/11 02:48 AM, Space-Whale wrote:
At 6/27/11 02:35 AM, Finalfina wrote: One word: Toothpaste.
Two words: Icy Hot

Three words: What the fuck


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GenocidalTendencies
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:45:24 Reply

Rotate your hands bro.


Facebook
"Man creates his own reality."

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nohomo
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:53:44 Reply

At 6/27/11 03:13 AM, SolXeroEraser wrote:
At 6/27/11 01:45 AM, Jedi-Master wrote: I'll hand it to you Sanch--You made the most original thread in the past 24 hours.
LOL,he said he'll HAND it to you.

That was honestly probably the funniest thing I've read all day

WiiFittoToreinaa
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 03:56:35 Reply

I'm a girl and I'm posting in this thread

what do you think about that


Get lyrically fit!!!!
Props to Embr for putting my sig into shape!!!

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SolXeroEraser
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 04:05:08 Reply

Put on a blindfold and let the good times roll.


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PrimalDawn
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 04:14:24 Reply

I am trying so hard not to laugh loudly. This was completely, and awesome hilarious. XD

Politicalzero
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 04:21:04 Reply

I believe using this technique would be interesting except using your penis instead of nose.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinocchio_i llusion


I'm schizophrenic

and so am I.

Psil0
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Response to Advanced Masturbation Techniques 2011-06-27 04:29:04 Reply

First I get mine nice and hard and then I stroke quickly with a razor. The increased volume of pain induces more pleasure for me and I end up with a nice strawberry shortcake all over.