Wow. this took alot out of me...

[Stereocrisis]

What we steal is what we owe.
What we owe is what we stole.
So we could steal a kiss.
Split the love and call it quits.

Lightning crashes from the sky.
I watch the clouds that pass me by.
We had each other.
The sky was bluer.

It's most dark before the dawn,
but it's most calm before the storm.
Death comes as your friends.
But lovers kill you if you live.

Many years have come to pass.
I'm sick of bringing up the past.
Of all your virtues.
Your vices get you in the end.

Through all of my virtues, it's always about how I hurt you. I cheated, deleted, depleted, defeated, and broke the trust. It was lust, not love. You weren't there. You didn't care. You didn't even call, we were married, I was alone, you were away. I felt so thrown away. I felt so angry, I held hands with misery, and it was me, by myself, shaking hands with strangers I called my friends, and it was fun to pretend, like it was real. I played guitar and sang in bars. I drank to get drunk, and in my depression, occured a transgression. I didn't love her, but you didn't love me. So now, to this day, you still don't see why I strayed away. Because when you let me go, and let me know, that you were living somewhere I could not be, I could not see you, feel you, hold you, or even talk to you to plead with you, I let myself go. I went to the shows. Got up on stage, got noticed by babes. So now that we're here, and this is for real, and we have two kids, so what is the deal? I'm a monster for life, no matter how hard I try, because YOU ran away, and so finally did I?

We need to fix this, and heal the moods, stitch up these old wounds, and not pick them apart, so it becomes scars, so faint and so far, that we can move on, and raise our kids right. They don't need to hear a constant fight. Regardless of our past. You can't move out and in with your mom for months on end. I won't miss my kids growing up because you can't grow YOUR ass up. You talk all this shit about me to your sister, your mother, your filthy ex boyfriends, I'm just sitting here like what the fuck? I thought we had made amends again.
I don't have the best past either.
My father is dead, suicide, jumped off a bridge, wrote me a nice little note about how it was all my fault, sent by mail, every other day, until he was gone, leaving me and my mother to fight for ourselves on our own.
And my mom, yea she let's me live here, but she just found the next guy who came along after my dad left, and she left me home alone, dealing with those hard feelings, one minute you've got your family, the next the world is upside down, and you're wishing you were dead, because the only two people who you could always talk to are either not around, or you hate their guts for what they have done.
So many scars, I didn't bother to rhyme. It equal the stars, how many of mine I tried to heal and failed, and so I got high alot, smokin trees with my friends alot, blocking out the bad, and staying stoned alot, because I felt to much, and saw too much, and heard too much, and it was all very bad for so many years that I'm surprised I'm still alive to be crying these tears.
So many scars.
It equals the stars.
And space is much too big.
Like the emptiness inside me.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

We had each other.
The sky was bluer.
We both felt softer.
That made it harder.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

On that one day, when you walked out, when you were swept away.
I thought I could keep you, but no, you were kept away.
Like it's my fault, I feel guilty, like I have to pay.
I've been so sorry, since you left me, you just walked away.

But, now, as of this moment.

We still have each other.
No one shall tear asunder.
Unless you give up again, move out again, take the kids, and tell everyone how much I suck again. And if or when, shit hits the fan, don't expect to stay friends. I don't know how things will end, but as always, I'm trying to stay positive in this FUCKING place surrounded by shit causing, problem generating uncle fuckers!