A collection of Skits

[DramaKaw]

For those of you who seem to care, I wrote some skits for an animator, who was going to animate them, but for some reason, he decided to strip them. I am upset at this, but I have the two scripts here, along with others, for you to enjoy.

For those who would like to animate any of my scripts, they require lots of movement and facial expressions.

The first two were the ones I wrote for the animator.

SKIT 1: A deleted scene

A card fades in: What you are about to see is a deleted scene from M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening". This fades out.

Another card fades in: Although it showed his true vision, Shyamalan felt that people would find it implausible. It fades out.

we then cout to where some construction workers witness their co-worker fall to his death. Then more start to fall all around them. One of them looks up and sees his co-workers jumping to their deaths.

WORKER: God in Heaven.

Just then, a business man stops when he sees falling men all around him. He gets really scared, but then...

BUSINESS MAN (Overly-estatic): My wish came true! YAAAAYYY!!!

Then, "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls plays as men everywhere fall from sky and the Business man dances around. He runs around, carrying a big-ass net, trying to catch some falling men. He passes an elderly lady who sits on a stool, holding out another big-ass net.

The Business Man catches a falling man. They look at each other for a moment, then smile. A fat man crushes them both.

**************

SKIT 2: A "WTF" Moment

Two guys sit on a couch. The guy on the right plays a video game while the guy on the left watches. There is a moment of peace. Suddenly, the guy on the left bites the guy on the right on his arm.

GUY ON RIGHT: OUCH!!

He pulls back, wide-eyed and very shakened. The guy on the left just stares at him, surprised.

GUY ON LEFT (innocent): Sorry.

He turns to the TV and sits there as if nothing had happened.

GUY ON LEFT: Reflex.

The guy on the right still stares at him.

*********************

SKIT 3: MJ Strikes Again

Justin Bieber performs "Baby" at a concert. Just then, Michael Jackson jumps in out of nowhere and does some of his signature moves.

JUSTIN: Michael Jackson?!

MJ: That's right. I came back from the dead to refill my true purpose.

He does a crotch-grab.

MJ: To enjoy some play time with you.

Justin screams like a girl and runs away.

MJ (running after him): Get back here, Boy-toy!

NOTE: Yeah, I know this sounds mean, but this was written to make fun of Justin Bieber.

********************

SKIT 4: "Walk This Way"

A large group of men walk into an elegant restaurant.

A French Maitre d', in an overly-dramatic pose, greets them.

MAN: Marco. Party of seventy?

The Maitre d' looks through a book.

MAITRE D': Ah, oui oui. Walk this way.

He does another overly-dramatic pose and glides down the dining hall. The group mimics him in a single line.

Two guys watch them through a window.

GUY #1: What the fuck?

GUY #2: What? He did say "walk this way".

*********************

SKIT 5: The Dark Side of Porn

A TV shows a clip of "Showgirls" with naked girls.

A Man sits on the couch. He has a huge erection. He gets very excited, his erection gets bigger until... POP!

His erected penis deflates to rubber. He is wide-eyed by this. He wiggles it around, but it just plops back down.

MAN (frustrated): God-Dammit!

*********************

SKIT 6: Prank

A college boy comes out of his room. He yawns.

COLLEGE BOY: Time to start this kiss-ass d--OH SHIT!

He unknowningly steps on a skateboard, which takes him to the stairs. He manages to stop, but he is catapulted off the skateboard. He rolls down the stairs and lands on another skateboard, which takes him through the back door and catapults him down a pool filled with Red Jello.

He gets himself out and is greeted by his roommate, who is smiling.

ROOMMATE: GOTCHA, MOTHER-FUCKER!! Man, I can't believe you didn't even see that skateboard.

He walks away, laughing. The college boy is pissed off.

*********************

SKIT 7: Another "WTF" Moment

An old woman walks her Chihuahua. They stop by a big tree. The old woman stands by as her Chihuahua squats down to take a poop.

Then, without warning...

TREE (as if slams down a branch): I'M A TREE!

The Chihuahua squeaks as the old woman turns ghostly white. She stares at the tree, then drops dead.

The Chihuahua is gone, nothing but a tower of poop. We then see the Chihuahua far away, falling down in the city. We then hear a slight sound of a crash and a car alarm going off.

********************

SKIT 8: Meeting Whitney

A bunch of people do stuff at a food court. then a shadowy figure of a woman appears. They all turn to see Whitney Houston standing by the entrance.

MAN: OMG! It's Whitney Houston!

Everyone runs to her, asking for her autograph and stuff.

WHITNEY: Y'all want to smoke some crack?

She says this as holds out a bag of crack.

*******************

NOTE: This is a sequal to "Prank"

SKIT 9: Sweet Revenge

The Roommate is dead asleep on his bed. He snores.

The college boy quietly puts a speaker next to his ear. Then he connected a microphone to the speaker and places it on a small table. He then puts a baby panda next to the microphone.

There is a moment of silence.

The baby panda sneezes. The roommate jumps up and through the ceiling. After a moment, he comes back down, bounces off the bed and flies through his window. He lands on a trampoline and bounces up and down to land in the garbage.

The roommate lays there, completely dizzy and in pain as the college boy walks up to him, hands in pockets, and bends down to his level.

COLLEGE BOY: Now, we're even.

He walks off with pride.

***********************

I wanted to write more, but I am just too tired. I will put down more ASAP.

[DeftAndEvil]

At 6/7/11 05:59 AM, DramaKaw wrote: For those of you who seem to care, I wrote some skits for an animator, who was going to animate them, but for some reason, he decided to strip them. I am upset at this, but I have the two scripts here, along with others, for you to enjoy.

That is really rather unfortunate. I found the vignettes to be funny, but wholly unoriginal and uninspired (especially the Justin Bieber one; we get it).

[Wautil]

Reminds me of, possibly, a common infant dream.

[HowardWimshurst]

look im sorry I said no to your script. The only reason is that Im working flat out on my own series at the moment. I can make an animation out of one of your scripts but it will take time. By time im talking months, and you would have to be very patient. I may chose a different one that would be quicker to make.

sory
I even baked you a cake with srawberry sprinkles.

[DramaKaw]

Looks tasty.

Anyway, I wasn't trying to be mean, if you took it that way.

[Stereocrisis]

This isn't funny. Some of it borderlines on not even making sense. I would have to be stoned to understand this, I think. It's very childish, and unoriginal. Sorry.