Beginning of "Anathema"

[Sahariel]

This is the beginning I wrote of "Anathema", a story I have posted my ideas about in the Brainstorming forum. Essentially, it's "CSI:NY meets Shin Megami Tensei with Romance". I have over 300 words (331 to be exact) so I hope that's okay with you guys. Feel free to tear it apart. It's the only way I'll get better as a writer.

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Archer's eyes widened at the shimmering letters etched in the victim's blood. Illuminated like neon lights, the letters formed the words, "Your end has come".

A hand gripped Archer's shoulder, breaking the trance. "Get it together, Daniels," he heard, from behind; that familiar slurred, guttural voice that vibrated to the movement of his double chin. He waddled past Archer, freeing his tight grip on his shoulder. "Isn't like you to freeze up like that. Better not be getting soft on me, Daniels. Knowing this son of a bitch, we haven't seen the last of these murders..."

"Uh, Garcia? What do you see there in that pool of blood?" Archer said.

The officer glimpsed at the direction Archer was pointing and then looked at the detective with an incredulous stare. "Blood, dumbass. Blood," the officer replied.

Archer gave Garcia a sharp glare, imagining Garcia causing a tremor with every step as the officer waddled towards the scene like an overweight duck, shouting at the other officers as his double chin vibrated with every step. Realizing the gravity of the situation, Archer's mind returned to the crime scene.

No one else noticed the lighted words in the blood.

Archer looked up to see the body impaled by a sword, lifted at least ten feet off the ground with dried blood staining the cleaned steel of the Chrysler Building. Archer could feel the warmth in his face dissipate, leaving a cold, numbing feeling on this summer night as he stared into the woman's dead eyes, feeling a drop of fresh blood from her slit neck fall on his forehead. Like the other twenty-seven murders to occur right here in New York City and the one hundred and forty-six to occur worldwide, this victim had no relation to the others.

No, that wasn't true. She possessed one common trait with all the others.

Her eyes were completely red, like those of a rabbit's.

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Thoughts? Comments? Criticism?

[Xenophaje]

I think this is very well written... Actually, now that I think about it. This is much like my writing, except your vocabulary is much better and you depict detail more clearly then me, where as mine are often vague.
(Although since I prefer to make music instead of write, it doesn't really bother me)