Inter-Ents

[FUNKbrs]

Way way back, in the long long ago, there were no such thing as non-trolls. All users were trolls, and all trolls were users. There was no word for "trolling" because noone was using the intertubes for any purpose OTHER than it's original purposes:

1: Pron
2: flaming
3; Stable platform for distributing weapons information that could survive nuclear attack

At this time, there were basically two types of users: n00bs, and Ents.

n00bs would now be considered FAILtrolls; constantly attempting to flame and infuriate the other users while at the same time failing miserably at it. Ents, on the other hand, were a completely different type of user altogether, one that has nearly disappeared from forum culture.

As a general rule, Ents (yes, it's a reference to L0tR) were programmers with serious college educations; n00bs were end users, and Ents main purpose of being on the Inter-ent was to review source code and share open source material (this predates the legal regulation of the internet as we know it today). Ents rarely posted, and when they did, they posted Walls of Text just like the one you see here. The word "lurk" was invented to describe what Ents mainly did on the inter-ent; watch the n00bs, and try and discover trends (like social networking) that would make them very, very rich if they did the coding for it.

Ents were the first to adopt 1337 as an attempt to foil investigations into their activity by doing searches on obvious terms, like "porn" or "hacks." This was later copied and ruined by n00bs, who had no idea why elite users would change random letters to numbers so they could convey the same meanings without making themselves susceptible to investigation with a simple Google search.

All that is to say that there are still a few Ents around on this site, and I'm all nostalgia queer about Ents because they are unfailingly cool motherfuckers, unlike all these moralfags and troll wannabes we have today.

Luis is a perfect example of an Ent. There are several Ents on the moderation and admin staff.

[Lagerkapo]

Nope, I'm not one of those.

[FUNKbrs]

At 5/31/11 02:15 PM, 111122223188 wrote: you have made 18,000 posts you are surely a n00b

This is actually true.

At the point in history to which I refer, I was a n00b.

That's how long ago this was.

[Light]

Damn, Funk....Why are you still posting here? Almost nothing you say is demonstrably true.

[Falonefal]

In the end, everybody turned out to be a n00b

[FUNKbrs]

At 5/31/11 02:20 PM, Jedi-Master wrote: Damn, Funk....Why are you still posting here? Almost nothing you say is demonstrably true.

You're right.

Luis does not exist, and he is certainly not a cool motherfucker. Neither does Liljim or JudgeDredd.

I stand corrected.

At 5/31/11 02:30 PM, Falonefal wrote: In the end, everybody turned out to be a n00b

I think it had more to do with widespread availability of the internet.

First, it was all Ents. Then, Ents and N00bs. Later, it was trolls, n00bs, and moralfags.

[Falonefal]

At 5/31/11 02:30 PM, Falonefal wrote: In the end, everybody turned out to be a n00b

I think it had more to do with widespread availability of the internet.

First, it was all Ents. Then, Ents and N00bs. Later, it was trolls, n00bs, and moralfags.

There are always n00bs...

[FUNKbrs]

At 5/31/11 03:25 PM, Falonefal wrote:

There are always n00bs...

If they weren't at one time completely a new phenomenon, why would they call them "n00bs" in the first place?

it was 13375934|<][/\/6 Ents that came up with the term "n00b" in the beginning.

Did you know that the fonts on NG were updated to make 13375934|< more legible to be more accomodating to the Ents? At this point most Ents on NG were Clock Crew, because ents and trolls tended to band together against n00bs.

I would like to clarify that the term "Ent" was never hugely popular, because we're talking pre-meme days. N00bs were clueless to the existence of Ents, and only the newly burgeoning troll class were aware of their existence as a separate group. This is all before Urban Dictionary and Encyclodpedia Dramatica. The main reason I'm so aware of them is because I was one of the new troll-class users. By the time troll culture had blossomed, Ents had almost entirely retreated from the internet altogether, possibly as a reaction to the troll takeover. Ents were always happy to just lurk anyways.

Wikipedia is an example of pure Ent culture, where highly educated people with too much time on their hands donated their knowledge soley for the sake of making the internet a better place.

[Nerdonk]

This is lame. I think it's funny you've been on NG for 11 years and have over 18k posts and yet are still not a mod of any sort. Probably because of conceited shit like this.

[FUNKbrs]

At 5/31/11 03:53 PM, Nerdonk wrote: This is lame. I think it's funny you've been on NG for 11 years and have over 18k posts and yet are still not a mod of any sort. Probably because of conceited shit like this.

I was a mod for several years.

It's overrated. Lots of dealing with whiny people, and not getting paid for it. Mod Meats were cool, though.

[Evark]

Yea, this is why I liked hopping into the NG IRC back in the day. All the people you describe would hang out there. DLG, EveningShift, NewEvolution, etc.

I look forward to the day when I can finally move from my noob upbringing into Ent status. Of course, the issue with being an Ent is that your job requires you to work with computers all day... so when you get the free time to sit on a forum you find out that you'd rather not.

[FUNKbrs]

At 5/31/11 04:15 PM, Evark wrote: Yea, this is why I liked hopping into the NG IRC back in the day. All the people you describe would hang out there. DLG, EveningShift, NewEvolution, etc.

Back when people actually used chats instead of IMs. I was always too longwinded to enjoy chat. I never felt you could say anything worth reading in less than one line of text.

I look forward to the day when I can finally move from my noob upbringing into Ent status. Of course, the issue with being an Ent is that your job requires you to work with computers all day... so when you get the free time to sit on a forum you find out that you'd rather not.

I don't know, you're pretty damn close. You're neither a n00b nor a troll, which is pretty rare.

I wish more users aspired to Ent status. I get so tired of this new generation of moralfags from Facebook, so used to posting comments on pics of their gramma's dog they think they know something about internet culture. There's so many people who think internet culture started with Gaia or Myspace, they don't understand that in the beginning, it was site admins with small scale forums like NG that started it all.

NG predates /b/ by five years. I don't think people recognize that. I hear Something Awful has a lot of ent-style users, but the whole "pay forums" thing kills it for me. My bass player says it's worth it, though.

[Mrmongooseman]

18,336 posts...

insert forever alone.jpg here

[Dosensuppen]

I'll stick with being a newb, noob, n00b, whatever the hell I'm suppose to use.

[FUNKbrs]

At 5/31/11 04:53 PM, Mrmongooseman wrote:

insert forever alone.jpg here

My mother complains constantly about being "alone" despite having been married my entire life.

I never feel lonely. I prefer solitude, despite being surrounded by other musicians and fans all the time.

The reason I have 18K+ posts is because I prefer people separated from me by a wall of text.

If being around people is so wonderful, why do rich people always move to the most deserted ranch in Bumfuck, Nowhere the second they get some money?

When I am alone, I'm in excellent company. I wish I was alone more often :(.

[mattuiop]

At 5/31/11 02:05 PM, Addict wrote: fuck you

A good example of internet usage! :D

[Sheizenhammer]

Why do I get the feeling this thread was dreamed up entirely as a by-product of someone misspelling the word "internet"?

[FUNKbrs]

At 5/31/11 05:52 PM, Sheizenhammer wrote: Why do I get the feeling this thread was dreamed up entirely as a by-product of someone misspelling the word "internet"?

I swear to god we really called them "ents"

They almost never posted, had amazingly high levels, and when they did post they'd put up a wall of text that was crushingly perfect.

Almost exactly like the Ents from LotR. The term is pulled from a satirical "internet bestiary" series of pics. I can't find it in search for the life of me, otherwise i'd post it.

[futrchamp]

At 5/31/11 05:52 PM, Sheizenhammer wrote: Why do I get the feeling this thread was dreamed up entirely as a by-product of someone misspelling the word "internet"?

I have proof!
Source down at the very last paragraph of Popular Culture.