W.. What?

[Stereocrisis]

We came out of the trees, humans using fire and tools, farming and building, planting and using the tools to make more fire. Using firepower. Using the tools as weapons and slowly understanding that we can build bigger and better death devices with the use of our knowledge.

Cutting our teeth. Loosing our teeth. Growing new ones and getting hair in new and strange places. Some of us bleeding, and some of us getting wood. Sweating, and perhaps infected or allergic.

Learning and forgetting. Remembering and rehashing. Battles of the mind. Growing pains both emotional and physical. Battles of physical well-being. All while shitting and pissing, and sometimes bleeding or sickly, with influenza, or common colds.

We must eat and drink, vitamins, calories, H2O, meat, fruits, veggies. Fill our stomach, and wet our lips. Taste and smell and touch. Watch and listen.

The realization of our mortality and the effort put in to either prolong the inevitable, or shorten our life spans.

In big cities or small towns.

All while exploring ourselves and ourenvironments. Being left to our own devices.

Living, the quest for something meaningful or meaningless.

Pushing the limits of how weird it can be, maybe using mind altering substances, and exploring our boundaries, and perhaps finding that we don't have many.

Or perhaps sheltered, not doing anything out of the ordinary. One-track mind. Morning, noon, night. Never having the guts to see just how fucked up you could be. Never truely experiencing what you and everyone else is capable of. In these instances, having never done something you consider evil or wrong, you can use that against others who do those things that you consider evil and wrong.

Express yourself in moments of true understanding, or express yourself on topics which you have no real clue about. Voice your opinions. Talk, scream, sing, rap. Utter complete jibbish. Offend. Defend. Speak in tongues. Learn different languages. Travel. See new things. Find a part of yourself which has lain dormant. Your dark side. Your good side. A sex drive. "Whore moans".

A strange humor in it all. A blistering savage anger. A primal reaction, action... action... action...

Time trickling down a slick sun bleached white rock in the center of a dot. This dot, this spec, is an oasis. In some unimaginable cruel 300 degree desert, with burning hot sand all around you, and dead things cooking, and the rancid sight and smell of suffering. This oasis is your life. And anything before you live, and after you die is again to be experienced as the desert, which you must walk across for trillions of years. Hell. White hot, sinking, sand choked, burning hot Hell.

[BrianEtrius]

Before I get all nitty gritty on this, let me first say, this is an excellent introduction. Describing the human mind and nature is a great setup into something bigger.

However, that's the problem with these piece. You get all dressed up, but you don't go anywhere. Like I said, using it as a lead in to something bigger would really make the impact greater. Good job though.

[Stereocrisis]

At 5/30/11 02:55 PM, BrianEtrius wrote: Before I get all nitty gritty on this, let me first say, this is an excellent introduction. Describing the human mind and nature is a great setup into something bigger.

However, that's the problem with these piece. You get all dressed up, but you don't go anywhere. Like I said, using it as a lead in to something bigger would really make the impact greater. Good job though.

But my friend, we don't go anywhere. That is the end. We die. We end, and that is the point. We are born and we think, and we live and breath and go through stages of life, and eventually when time and consequence takes it's toll, we cease to go anywhere at all.

[Deathcon7]

At 6/4/11 08:41 PM, Stereocrisis wrote: But my friend, we don't go anywhere. That is the end. We die. We end, and that is the point. We are born and we think, and we live and breath and go through stages of life, and eventually when time and consequence takes it's toll, we cease to go anywhere at all.

You're justifying from your own opinion, your own pseudo-philosophical perspective. Do yourself a favor and take the criticism provided seriously. You're not perfect, your writing isn't either. I've seen too many instances where you simply refuse to believe that fact (or at least posture to the point of implying as much).

If you truly feel you don't need anyone's opinion on the forum, then you need to take a step back and reconsider your impetus for posting. Because if you're looking for ego-stroking, you're not going to find any around here. Well, you might, but you'd have to go through a troll and a dick joke first.

[BrianEtrius]

At 6/4/11 08:41 PM, Stereocrisis wrote: But my friend, we don't go anywhere. That is the end. We die. We end, and that is the point. We are born and we think, and we live and breath and go through stages of life, and eventually when time and consequence takes it's toll, we cease to go anywhere at all.

If you wanted to discuss about the content of your piece and not the actual literal aspect of it, I'm pretty sure this is not the forum to do so. My criticism was about the latter, while you obviously want to talk about the former. If that's the case, then you're probably better off discussing this in the general forum.

[Stereocrisis]

At 6/4/11 09:33 PM, BrianEtrius wrote:

At 6/4/11 08:41 PM, Stereocrisis wrote: But my friend, we don't go anywhere. That is the end. We die. We end, and that is the point. We are born and we think, and we live and breath and go through stages of life, and eventually when time and consequence takes it's toll, we cease to go anywhere at all.

If you wanted to discuss about the content of your piece and not the actual literal aspect of it, I'm pretty sure this is not the forum to do so. My criticism was about the latter, while you obviously want to talk about the former. If that's the case, then you're probably better off discussing this in the general forum.

What is funny is that I did post this in general, and they told me to come here.

And as for Deathcon7, I'm not looking for anything. I'm just posting something I wrote. Once again you have taken it to this level of seriousness that is laughable and cocky. You just want people to think you are smart. I didn't even check back for responses until today. I don't even remember WHEN I posted this originally. A few days ago, perhaps? Your analysis of my motives, and your feelings about my writings are of no peticular importance to me. I wouldn't care if I got good or bad reviews. I wasn't looking for reviews at all. I was posting genuine feelings in the form of writing for no other reason than to share. You put so much faith into people having these self-serving reasons for posting here. It is a completely alien idea to you that not everyone thinks like you.

[tinytim12]

I think we need to be apathetic here. If our friend here doesn't want to take our criticism, just let him be. If we call him out on it, it'll only lead to another predictable flame war.

[Deathcon7]

I'll leave it at this, because tiny has point:

At 6/4/11 11:13 PM, Stereocrisis wrote: And as for Deathcon7, I'm not looking for anything. I'm just posting something I wrote. Once again you have taken it to this level of seriousness that is laughable and cocky. You just want people to think you are smart. I didn't even check back for responses until today. I don't even remember WHEN I posted this originally. A few days ago, perhaps? Your analysis of my motives, and your feelings about my writings are of no peticular importance to me. I wouldn't care if I got good or bad reviews. I wasn't looking for reviews at all. I was posting genuine feelings in the form of writing for no other reason than to share. You put so much faith into people having these self-serving reasons for posting here. It is a completely alien idea to you that not everyone thinks like you.

I think whatever misconception you have of me is largely my fault, and for that I apologize. In the past I do admit I've been less than hospitable. But the point I was trying to make is that before you make a thread, please ask yourself the following: Do I care what anyone has to say about this?

If you answer yes, then go ahead and post it. It's a forum open to anybody. But if you blanch at the first sight of critique, then you're not being conducive to the spirit of the forum. There's a limited about of critique to go around, please learn to appreciate what you get.

If you answer no, if you truly do not care what anyone has to say, but you really want to share, then do so on your user page. I say this because this forum is already so low volume with critics, if you make a thread you're going to mislead them into thinking you're looking for a review. This isn't fair to the other users with a legitimate desire for critique, when their thread is skipped over because a critic settled on yours.

I hope I better explained myself.

[Stereocrisis]

At 6/5/11 02:17 AM, Deathcon7 wrote: I think whatever misconception you have of me is largely my fault, and for that I apologize. In the past I do admit I've been less than hospitable. But the point I was trying to make is that before you make a thread, please ask yourself the following: Do I care what anyone has to say about this?

If you answer yes, then go ahead and post it. It's a forum open to anybody. But if you blanch at the first sight of critique, then you're not being conducive to the spirit of the forum. There's a limited about of critique to go around, please learn to appreciate what you get.

If you answer no, if you truly do not care what anyone has to say, but you really want to share, then do so on your user page. I say this because this forum is already so low volume with critics, if you make a thread you're going to mislead them into thinking you're looking for a review. This isn't fair to the other users with a legitimate desire for critique, when their thread is skipped over because a critic settled on yours.

I hope I better explained myself.

Yes. You have better explained yourself. You are SO friggen cocky. Like, your ego must just tell you constantly that you are the MAN. I'm not going to follow your rules, okay? You don't make the rules. You don't run the website. Okay boss? Now, instead of giving me shit for my writing, you're trying to "school" me on the proper way to make a post. How's this.. I'll do whatever I want, and you can just stay out of my threads if you have such a huge problem. I think everyone can agree that is fair, and it will be noticed if you keep coming back at me, after you know not to come into my threads, becaus they piss you off so much. It will show your true character.

I mean, if I even see you posting in one of my threads again, you're just going to show everyone how right I am. That you can't stand to not have the last word, because all you're really doing here on newgrounds is trying to show everyone what a "smart-guy" you are. It's pathetic. Nobody cares when a some king shit starts running his mouth, it's been done by better people then you.

Well, like I said, I'm going to do what I'm going to do. If I want to share something, it's going in the forums, not on my page or whatever, because that's stupid. Nobody would read it.

For anyone else that might be reading this, just take my original post for what it was. Just some stream of thought writing I thought might be nice to share, that you wouldn't have seen otherwise if it was trapped within my obscure blog somewhere.