Time lesbian romance story.

[sky1995]

Yes i know, confusing title. basic summary of this is; in the future man kind enters a war with an alien race of beutifal space ladies with green fox tails known as the PHILIDELPHIAS, and thier army of sexy bodied space amazon like women. they are basicly just bored out of thier minds and wish to attack somthing to fill thier needs of amusement. this is unkown to man who basicly just start shooting them at first glance. so as a result they get into a war for about 15 years and no one seems to be winning. Now the Philidelphias are getting bored and basicly say "yeah, were bored now so were done here, we surrender you win, good for you, were at peace, woopty fuckin doo" but before leaving the philidelphias leave thier mark on the human race by making all men into beutifal women and make the women population, just more beutifal. but the catch to this is, the men who are turned to women, keep thier cocks and reproductive abilities. now the male gender has turned into the dick girl gender.

Yes, this was inspired from a comic in the art portal, but heres the catch, instead of me writing so many stories of this new girl dick girl world. im asking anyone who is interested in this to write at least one story, and make up the characters and events that take place after this. Or mabye a story of the PHILIDELPHIA war, or mabye just a nice juicy romance. what ever it is. im just asking this because i apparently suck at writing a story, so if you are intersted, type up your story and post it. this is open to anyone interseted.

RULES:
1) no changing the setting for the story, that is the basis of this whole thing, and you cannot change it.
2) you can make up what ever you want for your story but it cannot interfere or change the basic plot outline
3) you can post what ever type of story you want, even a PWP( porn without plot)
4) make your own unique culture for the PHILIDELPHIAS
5) must listen to infectious grooves while writing this, i got my inspiration for the plot outline from the album sarsipious ark, plus it is just a funky album to listen to.
6) have fun with it.

so if you are writting, good luck. and i am excited to read some of the stories you all send in. if anyone actually participates that is.

[lilfozzy]

this ....... this might be really interesting to read!

[sky1995]

well first people need to write some stories. mabye ill write one to kick things off
k then. wish me luck. and i wish you luck if you do decide to write one

[4urentertainment]

At 5/26/11 08:18 PM, sky1995 wrote: well first people need to write some stories. mabye ill write one to kick things off
k then. wish me luck. and i wish you luck if you do decide to write one

The story seems to be completely random and lacks any substance. Is this really anything more to this than your bored, twisted fetish?

[WizMystery]

At 5/27/11 04:47 PM, 4urentertainment wrote:

At 5/26/11 08:18 PM, sky1995 wrote: well first people need to write some stories. mabye ill write one to kick things off
k then. wish me luck. and i wish you luck if you do decide to write one

The story seems to be completely random and lacks any substance. Is this really anything more to this than your bored, twisted fetish?

I wanted to post this but didn't. Is this serious or are you just depraved?

[sky1995]

this story is going to focus on two characters, a father and his son, as they adapt to the new world. This is fallowing immidietly after the war ends.

CHAPTER 1: BEGINNINGS

Date: Nov. 24. 2021
the PHILIDELPHIA war has just come to an end.

Today the war is over. Everyone is in mixed emotions. Some are glad to just be done with the war, others say that they should take this chance to wipe out the 'invaders'. But no matter what, everyone had the same question on their minds.....'what will happen next?'

As everyone wonder the answer, be it in fear of distruction or of hope of the new age in which the world of tommarow comes to reality, a lone soldier is walking from the battlefield. The 'final' battle took place in the grand canyon of all places, making one hell of a story for the history books. He was about 6"9, he had scruffy black hair covered by a black baseball hat with the words 'INFECTIOUS' stichted into the front of hat in bright neon green thread. He wore the hat backwords since he had some amber sunglasses on to keep the bright desert sun out of his eyes.

he looked like the usual everyday soldier, except for his hat, standered desert camo army uniforme, vest, scarf, side arm, large heavy back pack, the usual. He had his weapon under the back pack, a gold spray painted M16 with a silencer, grip, and holographic sights. The only thing that really stood out on this soldier, other then his hat, was the fact that he looked as if he just walked out of an explosion and managed to keep his ipod safe the entire time. He was walking near the edge of the canyon away from the battle zone, which had been over and done with a few hours ago, and was walking home. His name, was Chris. SRGT. Chris "paradox" Ruiz. He had no facial hair, and didnt look it, but was part mexican and german.

The reason his nickname was PARADOX, was because of a joke he made back in training. When asked by his supiors about his heritage, from a somewhat racist ass of a commander, he talked about how the Germans were the people with a pole up their ass, meaning very very strict, and the mexicans being very very laid back, the exact opposite. Since his C.O wasnt the brightest one, he thought it was a truthfull steriotype, and after hearing the prvt. say the word PARADOX, he thought it was a good nickname for the recruit. So the name just stuck to him.

As he walked he was thinking of alot of things; 'how beutifal the PHILIDELPHIAN warriors were, how the war seemed like a weird accident' but most importantly he was just thinking about his family, like all other soldiers. He was young, about 25 in age, he had a beutifal blonde haired wife and a handsome, dirty blonde haired son. As he was walking he suddenly noticed a rumbling in the ground. He then looked up from his IPOD to see a huge green beam from the sky. He knew where the beam was coming from and was just surprised that it just happened to be where he was walking. After the beam stayed stationary for about 2 minutes, a loud thunderous shockwave rang out followed by a spreading dome of neon green light. Chris tried to run from the impending danger but was too slow, and was kocked unconsciece.

1 day later.

It was day break when Chris had finally came too. the sun was shining over the horizan to britten the desert land. He was lying on the ground on his chest, covered in sand and dirt. He didnt feel injured, he didnt feel woozy, all he felt was a very very sore back and neck from not moving. He looked at his watch to see what the time was and was shocked to see that it had been an entire day since he passed out. He tried his personal radio to see if coms were up, but to no avail. After getting up off of the ground, he took his M16 in hand, in preparation for any worse case sinario, and started his walk to the nearest city.

[Nicole1606]

Ok im gonna continue to sky"s story.

As the soldier was walking back to the city,he noticed some more green beams coming ot of the sky .
He assumed they were hitting oter places,miles away from him since he didnt heard them.He could already see the city when his radio started to transmit a pre-recorded voice.
The radio message instructed all surviviing soldiers to go to "Bramstown" city,located not-so-far from the cannon, where they would be provided medical treatment by an outpost there.
He was already heading there,but it still felt good to receive the message.
Having entered the city he was surprised that noone seemed to be there,he knocked some doors but had no response.It was already getting dark so he decided to break into a house to sleep there.
He entered a house trough a window and turn on the lighs,he was eating a chocolate sandwhich when he heard a walking noise in the streets.Being no sound ,it was easy for him to know it was a womans steps the ones in the street. He Opened the door and walked off the house and carefully walked towards the source of the sound. When sudently his radio started vibrating again and played the same message he had received before.HE quickly turned it off only to notice the woman in fron of him.She was flashing him with her flashligh and a rado in her belt was playing the same message he just stopped. She was another surviving soldier from his squad,he had acctually seen her before whle they were being given the last instructions before the battle started.
But he dint remenber her being so beautifull,her eyes were blue and her hair blond;it used to be dark as he remenbered; and she jsut seemed to expel a sense of seduction and desire.

TO BE CONTINUED

BY SOMEBUDDY ELSE :D

[sky1995]

ok then, wasnt plannin on that to be chapter 2, but ok.

might as well pick things up from there.

CHAPTER 3: what the fuck?

After having his eye sight blinded by the other soldiers flash light, Chris was able to get a good look at the trooper. She had blonde hair, in two poney tails, and bright neon blue eyes. she apparently had recieved the same message as Chris. Now that his sight was back, she could really ask to see what the hell's going on. "So, any idea what the green pillers and shock waves are?" she asked, with the usual standered, robot like military tone. "No clue, i was just walkin then just 10 yards away piller shoots down and boom, im out for a day. My back still hurts like hell." she answered, trying to ease the pain still in her back. "Well then what about the people, where'd they go?" She asked starting to get a bit worried about the fate of the vanished towns people. "Havent you heard, military cleared civilians out just incase of the need of nuclear war heads. this was all military, they probably all left as soon as the fighting was done." Chris told the other soldier "How the hell didnt you hear about it, it was the first order they gave. Evac civ's, join the fight, go home." this brought an annoyed look to the girl. "Well some of us are a bit too busy trying to figure out what the hell the PHILI's were up to. i guess this is what it was. Honestly, im a bit disappointed, a big green sonic boom making piller lazor thing. really disapointed. no crator, no structural damage nothin. either that or it just dosnt effect us girls and fried all the men." This is where Chris got lost.

"wait, what do you US girls. last time i checked i was a dude." Chris said, not really in the mood for jokes. "oh, you gotta sex change? i guess dont ask dont tell wasnt for you then huh?"
Chris was starting to get annoyed by this. "Seriously, shut it, another pussy insult and your gonna get it prvt." Chris started to think to him self about what she said, 'US girls? what the hell?'. "Ok then, dont blame me next time you look at the mirror and punch it." This was starting to get the better of Chris' curiosity. So he went back inside and looked for a mirror. Once he found one, he took off the sunglasses and hat to see what freaked the hell out of her. Chris had the face of an angle, she still had the black shaggy hair and still was 6"9. Now instead of her normal natural brown eye color, they were now green.

Chris started slapping her self in the face, she thought she was dreaming, 'NO NO NO NO NO NO!' she reapeated constantly in her head. Now she understood the beam of light she had seen a day ago. The PHILIDELPHIAS have turned men into women. Suddenlly Chris noticed another oddity. She didnt feel as though she had new feel femal organs inside her, so to quench her curiosity, she looked into the hem of her pants to see that she still had her own prvts. This had done it. Chris was starting to feel dizzy. she started fumbaling around, and barely managed to make it into the hallway, to only fall down the stairs a few seconds later. With a loud thump, Chris was back out of it. only to hear the other soldier running to pick her up.

[Lordboy54]

if you are going to write your shitty stories, atleast use proper spelling.

[DeftAndEvil]

Please, I know that sky's story seems random and unappealing (I read a few paragraphs and it is) but let's try to be supportive, in a sense. Writing Forum community FTW!!!11!!!!!!1! >:O

The story seems to have a bit of hidden potential: some of the sentences are alright; I appreciate the voice and narration at times. But there is no real sense of direction and is extremely shallow. The character description is actually not bad and a bit amusing, but they are unappealing and a bit derivative. I know your enthusiasm is genuine, but please, please, please! use a proofreader/spellcheck and revise your entry before submitting. Then at least, your story can be taken with a modicum of seriousness and respect.

Peace.

[sky1995]

no thanks, im pullin the plug, run out of interest, that and pre-summer work. so im pretty much gonna forget about it, also you are right, my stuff is unappealing. so thanks for giving two shits to read and review, red through the stuff my self, and my god is it terrible. thanks for lookin at this, and have a good summer, thanks.

[tinytim12]

At 5/30/11 05:41 PM, sky1995 wrote: no thanks, im pullin the plug, run out of interest, that and pre-summer work. so im pretty much gonna forget about it, also you are right, my stuff is unappealing. so thanks for giving two shits to read and review, red through the stuff my self, and my god is it terrible. thanks for lookin at this, and have a good summer, thanks.

wtf

[sky1995]

wtf you say, well im not gonna try and write. since i know its terrible, and since i obviously suck at it, so I am not gonna write anymore, that doesnt its over for this. if you want to you can still write things here. anyone can. Just not me.

[lilfozzy]

At 5/31/11 06:21 PM, sky1995 wrote: wtf you say, well im not gonna try and write. since i know its terrible, and since i obviously suck at it, so I am not gonna write anymore, that doesnt its over for this. if you want to you can still write things here. anyone can. Just not me.

what are you talking about!!! this is some good stuff over all.

[sky1995]

well, apparently many are in agreement that i am not a great writer, the idea is good, just not the exicution. mabye you can write it. or mabye i could try again. i dont know. all i know is something in this thing just isnt right. and so far i am thinking its me. so mabye ill write something, since no one else is.

[DeftAndEvil]

First of all, be confident. Second of all, writing takes time and skill in addition to experience--which it seems to me you lack (click the link in my sig and try some of the exercises). Third of all, format your work and proofread it. Use a word processor that uses a real time spellchecker/proofreader (in many ways I find Microsoft Works Word Processor superior to Msoft word; also, it's free). That way, people won't immediately pass your work off as weak, undeveloped, and of typical NG forum bullshit. The Writing Forum has standards--I hope you find.