An old script

[scotty117]

Recently I read a letter a wrote to myself as a project from elementary school and came across one sentence that made me remember. An old script I was working on had just happened to be sitting there on my computer for years and I didn't realize it. I made some adjustments and here is a small portion of it (I didn't go into much detail because I know what I'm looking at, but you can picture it however).

Flash Name: Imprisonment
Part One

EXT. Graveyard
Characters
Ryu "Desmond"
Richter Belmont "Daniel"

Desmond: Why do you even try to destroy me? You're weak, defenseless. I would have made a perfect master. But no, you decide to take on a bigger challenge. To destroy us, the Sinister Mercenaries. You can try, but you will fail each and every time you attempt to disband us.

Daniel: Ha! You think you and your gang are so powerful. You can't even kill our master. You've been trying for years. You can't eliminate the Initiatives.

Desmond: Why do you have to make things so hard? You could have joined me years ago. I guess you'll surrender when you find out who you're dealing with.

Daniel: I'm not afraid of you.

Desmond: You remember that princess you were engaged to?

Daniel: Jackie! (Exclaiming) What have you done with her?

Desmond: She's imprisoned in our dungeon. We'll do things to her unimaginable until you help us to destroy you're troop.

Daniel: Die you beast!

FIGHT SCENE

AFTERMAS

Daniel: (Tired Expression, deep breathing) I... won't give up on her. Give her back you... you... (Sigh) (Faints)

Desmond picks up Daniel throws him behind grave stones in scene. Hits tree.

Desmond: That fool.

Desmond walks off exterior.

[PillGeneral]

There seems to be an awful lot of dialogue and not enough action. Let me explain, after a piece of dialogue you simply said "FIGHT SCENE" there were no details of what happened in the fight. There also needs to be more specificity in the script explaining the characters reactions, their emotions, what they are doing, foreshadowing, plot line, in sighting incident, back stories, etc. If you re-post again with a full script I will give you a better critique.