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TyraWM
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Response to My comic Jul. 7th, 2011 @ 10:30 PM Reply

At 7/7/11 09:47 PM, Ramatsu wrote: Ahhhhhh, lol I'm sorry to have offended you or some sort but this is an anime-ish type comic yes I draw big boobs it's just been a habit, that I never grew out of it, they are not actually human beings and I can make an excuse to that they can hold up to gravity in different ways. The mass can be different hell I can say there boobs are hollow. And about them not being human "then why do they not look any different than us or specific differences to differentiate between human and alien" no one knows exactly what aliens look like, they can look just like us. Lol I'm way out of context but yeah what I mean is that not everything about "us" does not (count) for them. Sorry I couldn't think of the word, and I apologize if I come off as in ass it's not intended

I don't care about the bewbers, this is newgrounds, all guys draw big tittied ladies, its just what boys do.
I'm just saying your character design and body language is lacking.


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Knocturne
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Response to My comic Jul. 7th, 2011 @ 10:32 PM Reply

At 7/7/11 10:21 PM, Ramatsu wrote: It could be that anime is so mainstream people just say "oh another anime artist, just leave em' be"

Could be this

In general, we want to critique things like, the boobs, in hopes that they increase the quality of your art. And yes, drawing big monsters on girl's chests' does turn off people, along with some of the cliches in your art, and in your story.

I'd say, you should work on creating an original world, with original circumstance, with characters who are designed because of the world and not for the world. It'll increase your design qualities and people may look past your anime style.


Who is the hunter?

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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Jul. 7th, 2011 @ 10:46 PM Reply

At 7/7/11 10:32 PM, Knocturne wrote:

Could be this

In general, we want to critique things like, the boobs, in hopes that they increase the quality of your art. And yes, drawing big monsters on girl's chests' does turn off people, along with some of the cliches in your art, and in your story.

I'd say, you should work on creating an original world, with original circumstance, with characters who are designed because of the world and not for the world. It'll increase your design qualities and people may look past your anime style.

Yes, you are very true with that but these certain things you name make my art my own. I let the characters create the world not vice versa because the characters are why i created the world in the First place. By original i think i might be misunderstanding, but i have created this world through my own thoughts and ideas isn't that what originality is? I stopped posting my other comic because it was a fanatic thing, though i still continue with that story >.> when i do get my tablet i will draw a concept of the planet itself and give a back story on it. Just like these characters i all have back stories before i create them i wouldnt draw them just to draw them.


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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Jul. 7th, 2011 @ 10:52 PM Reply

At 7/7/11 10:30 PM, TyraWM wrote:
I don't care about the bewbers, this is newgrounds, all guys draw big tittied ladies, its just what boys do.
I'm just saying your character design and body language is lacking.

Yeah, you are right my character designs do lack, that i know the diversity needs to be widened majorly. and I've been working on it a bit( but now that i have a bunch of time on my hands besides this weekend, i have much to work on) expect great things, well don't expect great because i don't want to get your hopes up and they don't live up to your expectations.


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Knocturne
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Response to My comic Jul. 7th, 2011 @ 10:57 PM Reply

I guess I was mistaken but didn't the world spring up from you liking Naruto and stuff?

I think to me your world is just a mirror of your like in that kind of story and not you being inspired by it, I can't explain myself well maybe.

But for instance, I like the book Brave New World, so I imagined a world in which people are breed into different classes for purpose of work, much like Brave New World. But then I decided the main character was someone who by some random happenstance ends up being sent into the past and thereby creating this world inadvertently with help from people who have unrighteous agendas, so in my case it's inspired by Brave New World but it isn't a mirror of it, it's that an aspect of the story I loved is incorporated.

Maybe my example was a horrible one.

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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Jul. 7th, 2011 @ 11:20 PM Reply

At 7/7/11 10:57 PM, Knocturne wrote: I guess I was mistaken but didn't the world spring up from you liking Naruto and stuff?

I think to me your world is just a mirror of your like in that kind of story and not you being inspired by it, I can't explain myself well maybe.

But for instance, I like the book Brave New World, so I imagined a world in which people are breed into different classes for purpose of work, much like Brave New World. But then I decided the main character was someone who by some random happenstance ends up being sent into the past and thereby creating this world inadvertently with help from people who have unrighteous agendas, so in my case it's inspired by Brave New World but it isn't a mirror of it, it's that an aspect of the story I loved is incorporated.

Maybe my example was a horrible one.

Oh i see, but no this was a world i had thought up ages before i became a fan of naruto, what inspired me was the thought of the planets orbiting the sun in our reality. but i made this planet being like humongous im mean huge!! like impossibly Huge, its core is bigger than 7500 of our suns Lol. i've made it that it have about 75 suns in its orbit and its moons countless. but these sun's maybe bright but not as close to as hot as our sun. i can get more into it but i'll leave that for when i make the concept of it. I'm just inspired by the impossible and that is where i come up with my characters. it was created when i made this series ages ago that i lost in a fire sadly...


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Kashi
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Response to My comic Jul. 7th, 2011 @ 11:53 PM Reply

At 7/7/11 11:20 PM, Ramatsu wrote: Oh i see, but no this was a world i had thought up ages before i became a fan of naruto, what inspired me was the thought of the planets orbiting the sun in our reality.

Ya hear that Knoc?
Ages ago.
Back when we thought the sun revolved around the Earth.
Yeah.

Funfact: the brighter a star is, the hotter it is.
Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Jul. 7th, 2011 @ 11:59 PM Reply

At 7/7/11 11:53 PM, Kashi wrote:
At 7/7/11 11:20 PM, Ramatsu wrote: Oh i see, but no this was a world i had thought up ages before i became a fan of naruto, what inspired me was the thought of the planets orbiting the sun in our reality.
Ya hear that Knoc?
Ages ago.
Back when we thought the sun revolved around the Earth.
Yeah.
Funfact: the brighter a star is, the hotter it is.

Is that so? i always thought it was hottest when it gets to that dim red color before exploding. Lol, Funfacts are awesome that reminded me of the lil' facts that snapple has inside their tops.


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Jinberry
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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 12:01 AM Reply

Pardon me for invading your thread without critique, but I'd like to offer my 2 cents in the whole character design <-> world relationship. You said in an earlier post that your character's design influence the world. I beg to differ; I think the world is what determines the design of your character.

There are physical aspects that you briefly touched like the vastness of the world. OK. That's one. Now, think about what are the consequences of such a world? Is transportation going to be super-duper advanced? Is telecommunications possible? What is the technology like?

Countries/territorial boundaries, do they exist? Are there governments or any figures of authority? Social classes?

Do water even exist here? Will humans need to adapt their needs, grow wings, fins, massive noses?

NOW. Temperature. Holy hell your world will have a huge effect on your characters. Will there be a concept of DAY and NIGHT? In that case, will there be Day creatures or Night creatures?

... you see where I'm heading with this?

Kumakun4
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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 12:01 AM Reply

If nobody is commenting, then maybe it's because they feel you didn't really take their opinion into consideration and thus, they feel saying anymore is useless since your art remains unchanged.
I see a lot of people who've told you to try something original, something that doesn't feel like a Naruto fanfic. Even if you say you thought of this story before Naruto ever came out, it still feels and looks like it had a massive influence on it, to the point where your story about massive planets and 65 suns isn't even important anymore as it barely has any impact on the story or the characters.
The characters look like naruto characters, are dressed like Naruto characters, talk like Naruto characters, have abilities similar to those seen in Naruto...
This is what Knocturne means when it feels like your work mirrors Naruto. It feels like you were so enthralled with the art style and story that you forgot to put in your own touch.
Hope this helps to clear out things.


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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 12:21 AM Reply

At 7/8/11 12:01 AM, Kumakun4 wrote: If nobody is commenting, then maybe it's because they feel you didn't really take their opinion into consideration and thus, they feel saying anymore is useless since your art remains unchanged.
I see a lot of people who've told you to try something original, something that doesn't feel like a Naruto fanfic. Even if you say you thought of this story before Naruto ever came out, it still feels and looks like it had a massive influence on it, to the point where your story about massive planets and 65 suns isn't even important anymore as it barely has any impact on the story or the characters.
The characters look like naruto characters, are dressed like Naruto characters, talk like Naruto characters, have abilities similar to those seen in Naruto...
This is what Knocturne means when it feels like your work mirrors Naruto. It feels like you were so enthralled with the art style and story that you forgot to put in your own touch.
Hope this helps to clear out things.

You might be talking about my personal series but the one i am on about now is much different. this is a different series i stopped posting my fanfic and created something new all together, there abilities are much different from naruto, i haven't even started to get into telling the story about and anything about these characters yet. I think if i keep this thread going it will only lead to more confusion. You can't assume that these characters arent original ive made a change, i can show you examples of naruto characters and my fanfic and then naruto characters to these creations. they do not talk the same. I don't know if your talking about one or the other. Maybe my fanfic did yes, but reading this Just gave me the thought of making a whole new thread all together.


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raveninskyprime
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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 01:54 AM Reply

Have you ever gone to see Transformers and then rented Dragon Wars? Do you ever get that feeling that Dragon Wars took a lot of material from Transformers? Do you think it looks and feels similar to Transformers?

Sure there are differences... robots or dragons, different names for main characters, different powers etc... But it still can't shake that cheap knock off feel.

That's what people are trying to express to you about your original story so far. Sure, there are a myriad of differences between your story and Naruto. That doesn't change the fact that there are at least an equal number of similarities that put it in the same category and flavor as Naruto.

Don't feel bad though. I say continue doing what your doing. Some of us (especially myself) learn by practice and doing... even if we're stubbornly sticking to old and bad habbits.


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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 02:16 AM Reply

At 7/8/11 01:54 AM, raveninskyprime wrote:
Sure there are differences... robots or dragons, different names for main characters, different powers etc... But it still can't shake that cheap knock off feel.

That's what people are trying to express to you about your original story so far. Sure, there are a myriad of differences between your story and Naruto. That doesn't change the fact that there are at least an equal number of similarities that put it in the same category and flavor as Naruto.

Don't feel bad though. I say continue doing what your doing. Some of us (especially myself) learn by practice and doing... even if we're stubbornly sticking to old and bad habbits.

-Sigh- okay, i'm going to have to make a new thread. Many people will get confused if this goes on, Ive created a whole different story different characters, different abilities etc. i have yet to get into will not relate to naruto in anyway, the plot is much more complex in this series than my fanfic that you see in the 1st few pages. i don't want to have to keep explaining this to people who come along. This will not be some "cheap knock-off" of some other anime. starting the next few days i'll probably name it my art thread. I Do hope people at least read this part and check between the pages and see a difference going on here.


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raveninskyprime
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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 04:47 AM Reply

I'm sorry to be blunt, but your characters are loaded with naruto-like costuming and weapons. That's why people describe your comic as 'like Naruto', changing threads isn't going to change that. It looks like they'll be competing against each other (though to a rated-R level based on a couple of pics)with various forms of martial arts and magical abilities. Couple that with (what appears) to be a non-defined amount of technology.

Again I would like to stress that this isn't a bad thing. It's just clearly aimed at one particular group when the appeal could be altered to fit a broader appeal.


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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 11:52 AM Reply

At 7/8/11 04:47 AM, raveninskyprime wrote: I'm sorry to be blunt, but your characters are loaded with naruto-like costuming and weapons. That's why people describe your comic as 'like Naruto', changing threads isn't going to change that. It looks like they'll be competing against each other (though to a rated-R level based on a couple of pics)with various forms of martial arts and magical abilities. Couple that with (what appears) to be a non-defined amount of technology.

Again I would like to stress that this isn't a bad thing. It's just clearly aimed at one particular group when the appeal could be altered to fit a broader appeal.

So, what your saying is martial art and magical abilities is already a ripoff of naruto? I can't agree with you there unless you actually seen or read more than a few chapters of naruto. There might be some characteristics in some of the costuming but is also is used in other things as well. Naruto characters do use weapons but not constant like this. If I never posted my fanfic in the 1st place I mwouldnt be having this issue. There are also other things that influenced my thinking, not just Naruto. I apologize for little mistakes in the paragraph on an iPod.


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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 12:20 PM Reply

Alright, you guys are being mad retarded assholes. His art isn't bad and he can do his comic whatever way he wants. I know some of you are just trying to give an honest critique but others are just being dicks. Big breasts do not turn readers off, they turn some NGers off. This is the only online forum community I've been a part of where big breasts are offensive or unattractive to a large amount of forum regs. I swear, you guys just conglomerated into a mass of tit haters and rolled on into Newgrounds. If he wants to draw big breasts, then he draws big breasts, don't call him out for having a preference that you don't have. He's also not lying about the whole, "I'm just used to drawing big breasts," thing either, I know some artists just don't even think about it and draw big breasts.

Now for my suggestions... I think your art style is reminiscent of some Korean Manhwas. Take a look at the manhwa Change Guy and maybe try drawing a little bit like that to improve your style and expressions. It's a kung fu manhwa so it should also help you if you're looking for some examples of fight scenes and such. The most important thing about my suggestion to look at manhwa is the way they layout their panels. It's like manga but it's reversed because Koreans read from left to right like in the West.

I'm not saying you have to make panels in that fashion, you could even come up with your own panel placement but it needs to have a formula that you can present to readers so they know where the next panel is.

Extra note: Most manhwa have typical manga styles of artwork but some have art that's distinctly Korean, like Change Guy.

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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 01:35 PM Reply

Yeah, but I also need to figure a way to make characters differentiate -__- from naruto, the main character is fine though no resemblance in anyway I mean who fights with a kimono on? It's mainly the female with the red suit on that resembled someone from naruto, it wasn't intended. Weapons are unique, then a friend of mine said it is like the show "bleach", because weapons have abilities and change... Honestly I have never watched or read it until she told me about that. Had to do some research on it, and the weapons make distinct changes, and has abilities. Weapons won't make distinct changes and some abilities won't be very, noticeable.. I am keeping an open-mind and seeking to differ my style and such.


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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Aug. 1st, 2011 @ 10:01 PM Reply

Its been a few weeks, neighbor was on vacation and i couldn't be annoyed to go to the library to scan anything so i just patiently waited and worked on a few more concepts. I have one more concept i have to get done before i can start the actual story.. he's a pain i can't get in a way i would like him to be. It is the main character's adopted father he is too be slightly older in age but still in pretty good shape.

i've also been working with feet as too i see it is my main problem( Can't get right). Yeah also, i have been working on differentiating between these characters and naruto characters and making my characters more diverse. I have 2 characters that are early teens so they arent pint size or very tall and 2 other characters being a darker skin tone( at the moment i still dont have the colors i ordered about 2 weeks ago.. think i have to wait for like another 1 and a half because of 1 color not being in stock?!?!).

okay this 1st guy im going to post up only one i pose referenced Due to how Bigthis guy is supposed to be. I still had to figure how to do the feet( which i epically fail at). His weapon is not on his back atm because im still rendering how it would look, it is like a hammer/slash axe thingy i forgot what you call it but yea here he is.

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Ramatsu
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Response to My comic Aug. 1st, 2011 @ 10:20 PM Reply

This here is the final version of the main character, I effed up on the right leg when i was inking (rage) was too late to turn back, and this paper is pretty expensive so i didn't want to waste it.

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Response to My comic Aug. 1st, 2011 @ 10:46 PM Reply

okay now this guy i have had a problem with is feet and mainly is left leg in total i usually just draw straight out of my head no referencing or anything i just work it out by myself. But this i really need a reference tried google and could not be annoyed to keep trying to find a possible reference for his perspective. hes a pretty cool character but i cant seem to work out this leg and foot on how it should look, help feedback please and thank you for your time.

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Response to My comic Aug. 1st, 2011 @ 11:24 PM Reply

This character is the best friend of the main character also called her sister because they are sibling clansmen. she is not finished because i don't have the colors i need to finish her, but yea this is the last character i'll be posting on here tonight.

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Response to My comic Aug. 2nd, 2011 @ 12:35 AM Reply

At 8/1/11 11:24 PM, Ramatsu wrote: This character is the best friend of the main character also called her sister because they are sibling clansmen. she is not finished because i don't have the colors i need to finish her, but yea this is the last character i'll be posting on here tonight.

What the hell is wrong with her thighs? That looks too big. No offense but it looks as if she had this disease.


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Response to My comic Aug. 2nd, 2011 @ 01:27 AM Reply

Ouch well I'm pretty offended, because I don't think it looks that bad. Sadly I have no scanner myself so I can't come to this all the time, and get help to pick out what mistakes I don't see myself.


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Response to My comic Aug. 4th, 2011 @ 09:57 PM Reply

here is the colored version.. sadly some of my other character sheets have been scribbled on by my younger cousin.. i should have put them up while i ran errands, then again i didnt expect them to be there.. either way its my fault

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Response to My comic Aug. 4th, 2011 @ 11:55 PM Reply

At 8/2/11 01:27 AM, Ramatsu wrote: Ouch well I'm pretty offended, because I don't think it looks that bad.

Really? Each of her thighs are wider than her waist, and her right thigh is even wider than her left. I mean seriously, the widest part of her calf is almost as wide as her waist.

I also feel I have to point out that thighs don't curve like that, and the way you've drawn her legs indicates that there would be a gap between the flesh of her legs (not the bones, mind you) at her pelvis that is almost as wide as her waist. On second thought, you drew her legs pointing toward each other, so the gap between her legs at her pelvis would likely be as wide, if not wider than her waist. Which, in a warped kind of way, almost makes sense. If her legs were any closer she'd constantly have to deal with rashes from her thighs rubbing together while walking.

Oh, on a side note. That muscly barbarian dude above could never reach anything on his back. His muscles would just get in the way. I honestly doubt that he'd be able to scratch his nose.


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Response to My comic Aug. 5th, 2011 @ 12:18 AM Reply

Well most of these characters are supposed to be contradictions themselves lol that guy reaching for his weapon like that was intended, but the woman and her thighs weren't intended. Still practicing my anatomy it will start to look better eventually.. That's why now I have my official art thread!!


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Response to My comic Aug. 5th, 2011 @ 01:31 AM Reply

Checked out a couple pages in your art thread. I like your characters and how you posed them in your art. You also seem to have a fairly good grasp on perspective. The proportions and anatomy you give your characters is also pretty interesting to look at, but be careful with how exaggerated you make the anatomy. Making some guy super buff or some girl with huge tits is one thing, but when you start messing with the proportion too much you'll start making your characters look awkward, and off. Another thing is, try to clean up your artwork a little bit, and maybe try going over your comics with pen, and erasing the pencil marks (this will make your art look a lot more appealing and cleaner.) But other than those two complaints, you seem to be doing pretty well, good luck man!


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Response to My comic Aug. 5th, 2011 @ 01:33 AM Reply

At 8/5/11 12:18 AM, Ramatsu wrote: Well most of these characters are supposed to be contradictions themselves lol

What is this? I don't even.

that guy reaching for his weapon like that was intended

Just because it's intentional, that doesn't make it possible. Realistically, all that guy can do in a fight is hope someone comes close enough to fall on. Unless, of course, those are soft, giant muscle-shaped tumors all over his body. Then he'd probably have a lot more mobility, if not for his problem of being dead.


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Response to My comic Aug. 5th, 2011 @ 02:50 AM Reply

But it is not reality is it, that's the fun about it being anime! And no it's not an excuse because honestly I do know someone could no even possibly scratch there nose being as big as he is in our reality. But in their reality our laws of physics dont apply. Sure I can make him human enough not to scratch his nose, but what's the fun in that? I tend to stay open-minded on slot of things but it's just like saying oh how can superman fly and have x-ray vision. People will know not to jump off a building and try to fly.(well ones in their right mind).


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Response to My comic Aug. 31st, 2011 @ 04:58 PM Reply

Okay for my comic thread i have 3 concepts im throwing in today, one being NFSW!! i will put the warning up again when i am putting the picture on. these are still sketches because there might be some changes to them. This 1st sketch is supposed to be the creator of this world i created tryna get his left foot to look like its a little further back than the right perspectively, but i think i fail to capture that... it just looks shorter than the other. HELP would be greatly appreciated. PS. this might not be his final look and also his neck and arms are supposed to look very long, same with his torso with explains the extra abdominals.

My comic


Art is vast as Love is deep, Trying to Explain the two is like trying to discover everything there is about the ocean.
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