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Death-from-Norway
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How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:45 AM Reply

How to maintain a healthy level of insanity...

1. In your lunch break, sit on your parked car, put your sunglasses on and point a hair dryer to the passing cars. See if they reduce speed.

2. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that order.

3. Encourage your office colleagues to do a syncronized chair dance with you.

4. Place your trash bin over your desk and write on it: "work In"

5. Develope a strange fear of paper staplers.

6. Put decaf in the coffe machine for 3 weeks. when everyone looses the cafeine adiction change to espresso.

7. On the back of all your checks write "Payment to bribery"

8.Everytime someone tells you something, answer with "That's what you think".

9. End all your sentences with “according to the prophecy”.

10. Adjust the brightness of your pc screen so that it shines all your work área. Insist with others that’s the way you like it.

11. Don’t use any ponctuation

12. Whenever possible, jump instead of walking

13. Ask people what gender are they. Laugh histerically when they answer.

14. Sing along in the opera

15. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme

16. Find out where you boss shops for clothing and buy exactly the same clothes. Wear them one day after your boos wears them (this is particulary effective if your boos is of the opposite sex).

17. Send e-mails to the rest of your company to say what you área doing. For instance: “if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom, third door to the left”.

18. Place a moskito net around your desk. Play a CD with forest sounds all day.

19. When money comes out of the ATM (bank’s cash machine), scream with joy.

20. When leaving the zoo, run for the parking lot, screaming “Save yourselves, they’re running loose!”

Foamy sux!

STEM
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:47 AM Reply

im gonna base my life off of this list.

actually, this is quite hilarious. i should use it.


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Rajunen
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:49 AM Reply

I''ve read these before but they're still funny... lol

poxpower
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:49 AM Reply

21. Steal jokes from websites and post them on newgrounds


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STEM
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:51 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 08:49 AM, -poxpower- wrote: 21. Steal jokes from websites and post them on newgrounds

i thought i've seen these before...


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Death-from-Norway
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:53 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 08:49 AM, -poxpower- wrote: 21. Steal jokes from websites and post them on newgrounds

hmmmm...
Some are mines, some are others!

Make more, so we can get a cool list!

JohnnyWang
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:54 AM Reply

22. Bitch about the rules to every on NG BBS.


I don't take revenue from my profile.
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PhantomDuck
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:55 AM Reply

:P
This was pretty funny.

rancid-alan
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:06 AM Reply

Heh, well that helps... a little.

Death-from-Norway
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:08 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 08:54 AM, ReClaw wrote: 22. Bitch about the rules to every on NG BBS.

LOL LOL!

23.Make Yoda sounds while you wait for the bus at a crowdy bus station

xenilk
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:16 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 08:53 AM, Death_from_Norway wrote:
Some are mines, some are others!

none of those are yours

Mr-Silv3r
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:30 AM Reply

24. Have a lengthy discussion about bunsen burners with the local priest, then finish it with "APPLES?! What does that have to do with Jesus dancing on a windmill?!"

seemed like something i havent seen on that list, also, that list is DAMN OLD.


Oh. Your. God.

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deckheadtottie
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:32 AM Reply

25. Have sex with dead bodies and say it's your religion.


#coys

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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:35 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 09:16 AM, aSSbAG wrote: none of those are yours

I would guess that "11. Don’t use any ponctuation" is his, since punctuation is spelled wrong.

poxpower
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:36 AM Reply

ok ok I know this has nothing to do with this topic.

But.

Ever noticed, when you drop a toast, IT WILL ALWAYS LAND ON THE SIDE WITH THE JAM??

omg i'm on to something. I could write a book with all sort of negative thoughts like that.


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deckheadtottie
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:37 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 09:36 AM, -poxpower- wrote: ok ok I know this has nothing to do with this topic.

But.

Ever noticed, when you drop a toast, IT WILL ALWAYS LAND ON THE SIDE WITH THE JAM??

omg i'm on to something. I could write a book with all sort of negative thoughts like that.

Staple it to a cat,then.


#coys

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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:38 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 09:36 AM, -poxpower- wrote: Ever noticed, when you drop a toast, IT WILL ALWAYS LAND ON THE SIDE WITH THE JAM??

That's what you think, according to the prophecy.

BenC
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:40 AM Reply

Funny, but stolen

Mr-Silv3r
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:43 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 09:40 AM, BenC wrote: Funny, but stolen

Stolen poorly i might add, the grammer is terrible, and hell he screwed up the cheques one. It's supposed to be "For sexual favours" you bastard!


Oh. Your. God.

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poxpower
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 09:47 AM Reply

At 4/23/04 09:38 AM, Forever_Knight wrote:
At 4/23/04 09:36 AM, -poxpower- wrote: Ever noticed, when you drop a toast, IT WILL ALWAYS LAND ON THE SIDE WITH THE JAM??
That's what you think, according to the prophecy.

do you want fries with that order

*skips away*


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Death-from-Norway
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 12:53 PM Reply

At 4/23/04 09:36 AM, -poxpower- wrote:

Ever noticed, when you drop a toast, IT WILL ALWAYS LAND ON THE SIDE WITH THE JAM??

omg i'm on to something. I could write a book with all sort of negative thoughts like that.

You have a point, I guess thats why I never eat jam... IT ALWAYS LANDS ON THE JAM SIDE!!!! Pisses me off!

cap123
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 12:56 PM Reply

At 4/23/04 12:53 PM, Death_from_Norway wrote: You have a point, I guess thats why I never eat jam... IT ALWAYS LANDS ON THE JAM SIDE!!!! Pisses me off!

LMAO why the fuck did you steal someones sig?


burrrpppp

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Darklilangel23
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 12:59 PM Reply

9. End all your sentences with “according to the prophecy”.

im gonna use this one


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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 05:06 PM Reply

At 4/23/04 12:59 PM, Darklilangel23 wrote: im gonna use this one

That's what you think

iscrulz
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Response to How to maintain a healthy level of Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 05:13 PM Reply

27. play freddy couger on continous loop on your campus stadium speakers.


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