Not sure where this is going

[RedCoin]

Stop hogging all the sleep and let someone else get a piece.

Well, It's now 2:54 in the morning. It feels a little more like 1:54, because tonight's the night that the clocks went forward. It's now either the 26th or 27 of March. It's the 27th because it's past midnight but it's more like the 26th to me because I havnt slept yet. I'm still awake at this time, not only because I'm being haunted by my sister's boyfriend next door, snoring heavily, sounding like an almost dead labrador, driving me fucking crazy..., but because I'm already a little crazy to begin with. Maybe crazy isn't the best word to use, it isn't exactly subtle. I suffer from clinical depression and the biggest symptom that I experience is the inability to sleep. I am tired. I am painfully, agonizingly tired and tormentingly, unbearably awake.

- I just heard a snore that shook the room and then a period of silence. Wow, maybe he actually went and let his diguisting heart stop. Maybe he finally slipped into his eternal state of shutting the fuck up and leaving me in peace. And then now can hear him again, going steadily. I was never so dissapointed to realize that a human being was alive.

Maybe I should delete the above paragraph, it does seem way too harsh and overplayed. But then again, I'm feeling a great inspiration to go in there and kill him myself. That would be satisfying.
Ok, this isn't right. I shouldn't be thinking like this, nevermind writing it down. It does seem to have a theraputic value to it though. And it's better to write about killing a fat obnoxious cunt than to actually do it. At least in the longrun anway. And besides, what else am I going to do? Sit still with nothing to drown out the sound of him misusing my house's oxygen except for the grinding of my fucking teeth? It feels so invasive. I feel somehow threatened. I can't put up with this sound any longer, I'm going to have to wake him up and deal with being consulted about my selfishness in the morning. Family life. Fuck it.

Thoughts?

[BrianEtrius]

I see what you mean about the uncertainty of this piece. While it's a great start, fleshing out characters will really help bring it together. The sister's boyfriend is a good start; perhaps give the narrator's opinion on the guy. You may also want to talk about the cause of this mental problem that surrounds the story. As readers we understand the purpose of writing but not the reason, so by describing that we can get a better background of the narrator.

Good job; I'd like to see more of this.