Awesome Series - Need your meaning

[maadis]

here is the first page of my not realesed comic: Awesome series!!!!
It is just a sketch, but I want to know what all the skilled members of newgrounds think about it.
Do you think that it is good enough for working on it?
I need your critic...

[J-qb]

could you try not making a new thread for every single image you post

[xxlouisx]

Nice, really good style.

I suggest that you outline it in ink or alternatively scan it in to your computer and out line it in photoshop (or another drawing/photo editing software.)

[maadis]

I want to draw the outlines and ink it with Autodesk Sketchbook Pro.
Also want to put strong shading to it. Like noir style just with colors.

[maadis]

Done a alternative first page.
But I think the first one is way better.
Or am I wrong?
Thanks for critique...

[maadis]

here it is...
Didnt find the edit button.....

[YouriX]

I personally think its good. But you should outline it and color it. So i can have a better judgment. But so far i like it!

[maadis]

At 3/26/11 07:10 PM, YouriX wrote: I personally think its good. But you should outline it and color it. So i can have a better judgment. But so far i like it!

The first one or the second one?

[YouriX]

At 3/26/11 07:11 PM, maadis wrote: The first one or the second one?

The first one.

[Daverom]

your facial anatomy seems alright,
I have no idea what is going on in these pages though.

[maadis]

Superheroes smoking...The rest is a secret. As soon as the first chapter is finished i upload it.

[Morthagg]

About your first image.. The drawings seem pretty nice, and they will seem even better when you ink the outlines and such, as has been said before me. I do have another bit of critique, though, regardig the 'framing' and placement of frames. Generally, it doesn't exactly work so well when you leave that gigantic white space open between two frames. I get what you're trying to do with the sticker-like thing in the middle, but I think it'll work a little better when you enlarge the frames of the two characters and 'nonchalantly' place the title over it. You can play with the composition of your images if you don't want the title blocking everything.
I don't know if that made any sense, so here:
(It could just be a matter of taste, or maybe you don't find this 'solution' fitting the kind of feeling you want to give, see for yourself.)

[maadis]

yeah, i get it.
you are totally right. It is my first attempt to create a comic and with the position of the frames i am not quite experienced.
Give me more!

[Aigis]

At 3/26/11 06:37 PM, maadis wrote: here is the first page of my not realesed comic: Awesome series!!!!
It is just a sketch, but I want to know what all the skilled members of newgrounds think about it.
Do you think that it is good enough for working on it?
I need your critic...

Is the guy in the first frame sucking in the smoke from the guy in the second frame's crack pipe?

[Morthagg]

At 3/26/11 07:42 PM, maadis wrote: yeah, i get it.
you are totally right. It is my first attempt to create a comic and with the position of the frames i am not quite experienced.
Give me more!

Glad it was of use to you :D I've been drawing comics for a pretty long time now (mostly as an amateur of course), but it's only recently I've started to (kind of) understand how framing works best. The best advice is of course to read a lot of comics and pay attention to the framing used, we tend to overlook that since we focus on the story and the images.
Anyway, about your second page, then..
I actually really like the first frame you made, the words go well with the character. I'm a little confused as to what the next frames are, though. Slight advice, you've only drawn people from the shoulder up in these frames. Try to work with full views and from-the-knees-up's, that'll give your reader a little breathingspace. For instance, I would have made the third frame a from the hips up, or maybe be even a full view. If you really want a close-up there, it's best to put the face higher in the frame. That counts for almost any close-up, really. It's how we view people: from the eyes down, that's what's most important. You can even leave a top of the head out of the frame.
I hope this wasn't a bore to read :D Sorry the post's this long. I also think my explanation was pretty clear, but just to actively show the difference:

[maadis]

Here is a new sketch. Done it for the birthday of a friend of mine. Nothing to do with the comic except the character. Maybe you recognize it on a other pic.
Do you think he will be happy?
Want to overdo it with Autodesk Sketchbook Pro, but I didn't had the time for it.
So here is the sketch.
ACTION ! ! !

[maadis]

Here is the final version.
My bro turned 23. If you wonder why only three candles stand on the cake, thats why he already ate the other 20.
Yes, he likes red candles...
Comment me!

[maadis]

Here is some sketch I finished yesterday.
He is a new villian for my comic. He is going to be the Number One Villian.
I have to create more background informations about him, but the most of him is finished.
So, its just a sketch and I am going to outline and color it, but maybe you are able to tell me what I have to improve.
Thanks for all of ya who critize me...

[maadis]

And another sketch finished yesterday.
He is going to be the "I-beat-the-crap-out-of-everybody"-Villi an in my story.
Going to finish this soon, I hope!!!

[bigjonny13]

At 4/5/11 03:47 AM, maadis wrote: Here is some sketch I finished yesterday.
He is a new villian for my comic. He is going to be the Number One Villian.

He reminds me a lot of the Joker..... maybe too much.....

[maadis]

Yeah, thats the Problem...
But I like the character, the mask with the insane smiling face.
Got any ideas? Would be glad to steal them =D

[bigjonny13]

At 4/5/11 08:48 AM, maadis wrote: Yeah, thats the Problem...
But I like the character, the mask with the insane smiling face.
Got any ideas? Would be glad to steal them =D

So it's not a face, but a mask then?
Well, I say maybe exaggerate the size of the nose a bit more, and maybe give it a vivid colour, like a bright red. Makes me think of Pulcinella.

[maadis]

Yeah, something like that...
I was inspired by the masks of the Carnival of Venice.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnival_of _Venice
With a long chin and nose.
Maybe without a Trenchcoat or suit it is better.

[Morthagg]

At 4/5/11 10:41 AM, maadis wrote: Yeah, something like that...
I was inspired by the masks of the Carnival of Venice.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnival_of _Venice
With a long chin and nose.
Maybe without a Trenchcoat or suit it is better.

If you were inspired by the Carnival of Venice, maybe you could put a little more of those typical Carnival aspects like feathers and ruffles, but ripped, dirty or broken. But only details. Makes him more of a theme-villain :D
Just a suggestion.

[Breaktroll]

Or it could be cool to give him some kind of beaky, plague-doctor mask. :) I always found them creepy.

[maadis]

Quite a nice idea.
And what do you think about my drawing skill/style.
Do you like it? Or any necessary critique?
Thats is importent to my what other people think about my work.

[Breaktroll]

Well, I really like the shading, and the art in general is good too. But I have the feeling that somethings are a bit rushed, and hence a bit unclear, but that could also just be the fact that you're using soft pencil as a medium.
Oh and the perspective could use some work too, but I'm not really good at it myself, so I don't have much constructive criticism to offer on that part.

[Morthagg]

To be honest, I don't like the shading. It's messy, and stripey. Stripey can be cool, when it's consistent, but when you constantly shade in different directions it becomes messy and unclear. There also isn't a lot of contrast, so everything kinds of blends into one stripey shade. So, if you want to keep shading in lines instead of in (semi-)solid surfaces, try making them a little more consistent and adding more contrast. I bet there are a lot of tutorials on hatched shading.

[maadis]

Yeah,
I know what you mean.
I rushed through the background, cause its just a sketch.
I overdo it with sketchbook with outlines and clear colors and shading.
But thanks, maybe I try stripy shading.....to see how it looks.

[maadis]

So, I worked on my villian a bit, just a sketch. I have no motivation to work with my tablett....
I think, now he doesnt look like the joker, or what do you think? I tried to work on the "stripey" shading...well, not so much shading in there.