More Practice Writing

[Atlas]

2002 Hidden behind Niagara Falls was a hidden base,Area 50 it's Area 51s sister base that was unknown until now.Back then they had just found a alien that crash landed behind the falls and hit their outer wall of their base.But heres the problem 35 people had spotted this and needed to be taken care of.So they sent out their best operative,John Camden.He went out and took out each person that saw it but when he reached the last person they saw him shoot at him and called the police.John Camden was arrested and charged with attempted murder and 20 years in prison.But before he was sent to jail he broke out and chased that last witness for the rest of his life only to find out on his 85th birthday that the witness die two days before he broke out.

[DeftAndEvil]

It is very repetitive and sometimes overly simplistic. Too much telling and no showing. The premise sounds ok but it feels a bit absurd (Area 51 minus one, is behind Niagara falls, at least one thousand miles away, and there was another alien crash landing?) Again, the writing sort of degrades upon itself with simplistic and insular writing and rambling, which really does not make sense. Don't restrict yourself when you write.