Zalecot's General Writing Thread

[zalecot]

Just a disclaimer before you start this thread, due to lack of resources, I am not able to afford a word processor with a proper spelling and grammar checker. Instead I am using Google Docs. In order to try to correct this I am reading through the works, but there still might be the occasional misplaced word or misused punctuation.

So here is the first work of the thread, a first chapter to my second novel Sky Rails [working title]:

Left.... right... left... right

They said that the cord would hold if you ever slipped; everyone who has ever worked down here knows that's not true. The ones who do fall simply disappear, never spoken of, never acknowledged. That thick leather cord can seem so thin when it is the only thing separating you from not existing.

Left... right... left... right

She wedged herself into the nook between two of the large girders and reached for the tin of oil on her belt. It had taken most of the morning, but she had finally located the source of the squeaking that had caused the foreman to become worried. It was on one of the smaller motors controlling the shifts of the rails above. She banged the tin against the girder, listening to the minute amount of liquid slosh within. Probably enough to get her through the shift, if nothing else went wrong.

She dripped the oil into the rotor that was slowly wearing through the belt attached to it. If she hadn't had gotten there it would have probably snapped within a few hours. The foreman would be sending her here again the next day to replace it most likely, but it wasn't as if there was anyone else crazy enough to come down here.

She slowly eased herself down onto the steel cabal running from gear-house and the edge of the city. Though she had found the problem ahead of schedule, and the foreman wasn't expecting her back for at least an hour, and she was the only one down here this time of day, so no one would come by to rat her out. She gazed back at the inviting nook between the girders for a moment, and thought of her lunch inside the metal cylinder on her belt.

The nook was more comfortable than inching her way along the cable. Inside her box was nothing but small tins of water and soup from the gear-house's mess room. As she ate far below the clouds swilled around as the city floated by. Suddenly a small float-island broke the cloud line, the intertwined organic gas sacks covered with small shrubs and nesting birds. From her rucksack strapped to her back she retrieved a stripped bolt to toss at it. Her aim was as good as usual, and her expert aim sent a stream of small white Crarkles fluttering out of their homes. A float-island that small would probably be netted above in the city proper, and added to the fields holding the town in the air.

She finished her soup before replacing the container inside her lunch box. Then got back onto the cable to make the long trip from the outer edge to the gear house. Most of the city at this level were just the odd and ends maintaining the various rail ways in and out of the town. Every so often the uniformity of the metal sheets would be ruined by a section that had been hurriedly patched; a decent amount of those patches had been done by her. Like a pimple protruding from the metal skin the gear-house came into view. A web of steel cords were strung out in every direction in order to allow maintenance crews access to every inch of the city's underbelly.

In reality the gear-house was not more than a large ring of doors into open air surrounding a repair shop. the place was nearly empty during the day, because decent folks did not want to see the rail-workers going to and from work. The only reason she was brought in was because the foreman had though it was an emergency. He sat leaning back in his chair, each side of his head connected to metal horns leading to network of tubes covering the ceiling. The tubed lead to every part of the underbelly, allowing him to head when something was wrong, and by closing various tubes at different locations he was able to determine an approximate area for each problem.

At a squat workbench sat an engineer, his large goggles magnifying the motor in front of him many times. His fingers skittered over different lenses locking the different magnifications into place. then she stepped into the gear-house, and the engineer jerked around at his station, almost knocking over what he had been working on.

"Kallen? You're back already?" He turned back to his work, picking back up the pair of pliers he discarded when she entered. "Seems like you are getting faster ever time you go out, soon we won't need the rest of the crew and just have you doing everything." Kallen took of the heavy harness and rubbed her shoulders where the material had dug in.

"You and I both know that I would be working around the clock to deal with all the crap that goes on here, and half of it still wouldn't get done." She walked over and leaned over his shoulder. "So Dekrin, what are you working on?" He didn't look up as he slowly peeled off the gunky film protecting the components from shock damage.

"Well, upstairs in the main block is having trouble with their communications. This is the main transceiver for the control room, something is wrong with it, and I haven't figured out what yet." Dekrin started taking it apart component by component, laying it out in front of him. "This is going to take all day, so unless the boss has another job for you, you are free to go." At his mention the foreman detached from the listening devises and turned around to look at the two of them.

"Nope, for once my ole' Teringrad is singin' like a Telgith." His rasping voice marked him as someone who had worked in the central control room for years. The visibility in that room was eight feet at the best of times due to all the smoke "Kallen, for commin' in like this I'll slip in a little something into your next paycheck."

"You and I both know you can't do that." she laughed as she moved towards the ladder in the center of the room. "Just buy me my lunch sometime and we'll call it even." She started up the ladder before looking back at the old foreman.

"It'll be here next time ya come in." He called after her as she went up into the room above. Directly above the gear-house was the mess room and above that the main deck. It extended like an underworld, right below the city streets. Through it ran the sewage, water treatment, heating, electrical systems, which together required a small army of people to maintain them. Shouting and the clatter of machinery echoed through the narrow hallways. She started down the hallways, picking her way around the pipes through the smaller maintenance hatches making her way through the route she always took to her home. As she approached street level the sound of foot steps grew louder, until she lifted up a grill down an alley to clamber out into the dirty space between the building.

The city had taken shape as an enormous bowl, the central circle filled with a park and market square. The lower rings were devoted to storefronts and shops, while the upper levels were reserved exclusively for housing, the more expensive the higher you go. All of this was in the shadow of the field above, as she had predicted the float-island had been netter and was being dragged towards the central mass. The matting of vines connecting each airborne plant formed a rough circle of greenery shading the entire city. On the top would be the farm workers, tending to the crops. At first there has been lines and ropes connecting the plants to the city, but over time the vines had over taken them making a bond that was nearly impossible to break.

(rest of first chapter in second post)

[zalecot]

Kallen attempted to make her work overalls look presentable, even then the grime stains were prominent against the blue fabric, and her matted red hair wasn't helping the matter. Best to just not worry about it and make her way back home. A few disgusted stairs and the occasional upturned nose followed her as she traversed the town, but on a whole it was better than usual. She made her way down one level, five above the bottom, at this level the lower quality shops dominated the landscape. Selling essentials to the working class of Teringrad.

Around the back of one of the shops she opened the door, and moved through the storeroom to the small loft above that. Her room contained everything she needed, even a small gas stove for when she needed to cook something herself. The two woman who owned the store were happy to have her there, in a way. They at least enjoyed the rent she gave them each month, and as long as she didn't break anything in there storeroom she was allowed to keep to herself. Kallen crawled over her sleeping roll to the window where her small pots were sitting, the droppers slowly supplied them with water. She had collected the seeds when float-islands had drifted close enough for her to pick fruit from the taller fern's fronds.

She was tired, she wasn't used to being awake at this time. Normally she wouldn't be up for another four hours until her shift started, the foreman wouldn't be angry if she came in an hour late. After slipping into her sleeping role she pulled the thick piece of paper she used to block out light over the window. She pulled the cord to the single naked light bulb suspended from the ceiling reducing her room to near blackness, except for the slivers of light escaping in around window. She drifted to sleep in mere seconds, after years of sleeping during the day it wasn't hard to block out the sounds of the street below.
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Just some background information on this world. All the ecology is air based, the plants in the sky they are able to do this by performing electrolysis on water gathered from the air, filling their gas sacks with hydrogen. We will see this done in one of my favorite animals in this world, the Seomnovore.

In the next chapter we will be meeting our other main character, the son of a church official from the Dawn of Guilty Spark, who dreams of leaving the church's doctrine behind. (I think I might have heard guilty spark somewhere, if I have taken this from something can one of you tell me)

[TheRedRocks]

This is actully pretty good. I would love to hear the rest.

[zalecot]

Chapter 2 of Sky Rails. This one contains the introduction of Kanti, our second main character.

He stirred in his bed, he didn't want to get up. After studying late into the night he was probably tired enough to sleep for most of the day. Unfortunately, if he didn't get up himself his father would come in here and do it for him. It was Sorrinsday, time to go to church. He crawled out from between the cushions and winced as his feet pressed against the freezing floor. The round porthole in the wall let in the morning light, and illuminated his small bedroom.

It was basically a metal box, with a smaller metal box in it that his bed was on top of, with two further metal boxes creating a desk and book shelf. He crossed the room towards the small washing space separated from the main area black mesh curtain. The water was as freezing as usual on his bare skin, as his father always told him, a cold washing builds a strong constitution. All it seemed to have been doing was increase the rate at which he received colds.

The entire room sloped ever so slightly to the corner that contained the small hole in the wall the water jetted out of. As he scrubbed himself with an ivory square of soap the suds drained away into the grill set into the floor. He never spent much time cleaning himself, and this day was no exception, he dressed in the ceremonial robes fitting for the son of a Dowen.

The latch on the large metal bulwark that was his door turned and opened, in stuck the head of his father, the bald dome reflecting the early morning rays.

"Hurry up Kanti, you daft child, if you make me late to my sermon this week I'll be the laughing stalk of the entire tower." Around his father's neck a heavy chain connected to the his book, the holy doctrine of the guilty spark. Kanti remembered before that book had been gilded and covered in gold leaf, back when his father had been a simple preacher with his greasy stained copy, he missed that copy.

"Yes father; my apologies father." he droned in a bored voice as he pulled closed the last few clasps along the robe's collar. Before leaving his room he pulled on the metal tipped boots, they clicked as he walked through the door and down the flight of stairs to the main room. It served as both kitchen and recreation space. On the table that folded out from the wall was his breakfast, Crarkle eggs, their off green yolks running messily over the plate. He ate in silence as his father recited what he would be saying that day in church, many dramatic hand movements accompanied the words, though they were so exaggerated that it looked rather silly.

"Kanti, eat quickly, I need to be there to greet the elders." He closed the book with a snap and let it drop to hand from the chain, in recent weeks he had to hunch slightly under its weight. Kanti pushed away from the table, and walked towards the receptacle.

"I'm done, let's just go."

"As you wish my idiot son, if you faint from malnutrition I won't be the one to bat an eye." His father pulled the much larger bulwark that made their front door. Due to their increased status their living quarters was positioned above that of the others, with a direct cat walk to the top of the church. Below them families were stirring, in their best robes, among the rich red and purple were common, the poor sported browns and simply off whites. All were cleanly done so as to not offend His Holy Eletricus. Kanti had to suppress chuckle at this thought.

The night workers had replaced the torches lighting the dark antechambers that was the tower's outer ring. As they approached the inner ring the murmur of human interaction became steady white noise below. The subject that had arrived earlier so as to receive a seat near the front had gathered around the closed doors to chapel. Inside they descended down towards the lower ring. The chapel was a bowl, surrounded by thousands of cushions used for watchers to rest their knees on as they listened. The only ones in the center were three old men, each dressed in vibrant green suits, with head dresses extending several feet above their snow white hair.

"My boy, you seem tired, have you been studying those railway schematics again?" chuckled elder Gaudfry in his high pitched voice. He smiled revealing a mouth that was mostly gums. He winked at Kanti as he leaned harder on the nubby metal staff he always carried.

"No he hasn't, I finally was able to confiscate the last of that dreadful material." His father stood a little straighter as he shook the hand of the three men. Kanti smiled has his father turned his back. No he hadn't gotten all of his material, he had deliberately left out the material he had already memorized in order fool his father into a false sense of security. Luckily it had worked, and elder Gaudfry had been delighted to hear that his plan had been successful, and as a reward given him the plans to a rotary transceiver. He would have to hide that one very well, finding such blaspheme would almost surely result in a beating from his father.

The other two elder and his father had no idea about elder Gaudfry and his secret relationship. The old man was much more open to the idea of engineering than what he referred to as those "pig headed youngin's". After some small talk between the men Kanti went to his cushion in the front row, his was much higher quality than those in the rings behind him. Indeed all of the first row was embroidered and covered in small gems. Though this only caused them to be very uncomfortable, Kanti had taken to padding the leggings under his long robe to counter this.

The doors were opened by armored church centurions. In flowed a rush of people each attempting to reach the spots within earshot of his father. The more wealthy of the dignitaries were carried in on seats supported by poles on their servants shoulders. If his father had wished it they could have one of those easily, though his father was a strong believer of suffering breed holiness. A three room house? They could have a fifty room one furnished with the best money could buy, but all his father accepted from the church's coffers was enough for the basic necessities of both their lives.

His father had already taken his place on the raised dais in the center of the massive room. The torches shined through many colors of stained glass, shrouding him in multi colored light. He spun in a slow circle as all the people quieted, then unclasped the chain from his neck, letting the links clatter to the floor. Then placed the book on the podium before clearing his throat.

"My friends and fellow warriors of the Guilty Spark. Let us raise our eyes upwards in prayer towards the rolling thunder, the spark of creation, the unsheathed lightning, the power electric!"
His father raised his hand towards the roof, clutched in it was a single golden chain with the pendant in the shape of a thunder bolt.

"THE POWER ELECTRIC!" echoed the multitude, almost shaking the walls with the sheer volume of their call. If Kanti had to admit anything, it was that hi father new ho to control a crowd. From his opening speech he started in on that week's speech. It wasn't much different than usual, simply discussing the blaspheme of the free states in their use of electricity for commercial gain, and how the great power electric would bring down retribution unto them. Though exactly when said retribution would come was never exactly specified. After the first few paragraphs Kanti blocked out the long rants and instead began reviewing machine schematics over in his head.

(rest of chapter will be in the next post.)

[zalecot]

For nearly three hours he sat there, and after the first few minutes his legs had gone numb. Across from him he could see elder Gaudfry, and was nearly sure that the old man had fallen asleep after about half an hour. It was hard to tell because his eyes were closed to such small sits normally that them being opened or not did not make much of a difference.The crowed was frenzied, some getting up to cheer his father on, he even saw a few weeping. He was almost crying as well, from boredom.

Finally it was over, Kanti got up and began rubbing the feeling back into his legs. His father was letting hundreds of people swarm around him, shaking their hands and supplying small words of support. Kanti walked over to the stooped figure of the elder, and put his hand on the hunched back to shake the man awake. After a splutter the elder stirred.

"Oh... hmmm... Did I fall asleep? How embarrassing, I hope no one besides you noticed my boy." The old man attempted to get up, pushing off of the metal rod, but wasn't able to quite manage it. Kanti put his hand under the crook of elder's arm to pull him to his feet.

"Since when were you this frail, how about I take you to get some Fellish spirits, that will put a spring in your step." The old man chuckled as he hobbled along, Kanti followed close behind. Elder caught his father's eye and indicated to Kanti, his father nodded in understanding. Elder had told father that he was giving Kanti extra schooling in the doctrine of the Guilty Spark

"Your father does not give you any money, you just want to mooch off of me for some cheap booze."

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Well there is chapter two. Hopefully yall like it. I am not so sure about this chapter. I don't think I communicated the fact that this place is not the same town as from the first chapter well enough.

[zalecot]

Chapter 3: Seomnovore

The twelfth chime of the midnight bell rung out over Teringrad, the night had long since overtook the town and the night lamps had been lit. Even though the rich had left the streets and the various store front shut for the night the night crew had finally stirred. Hundreds of maintenance workers walked the streets in near identical work cloths, and from high in the field the farmers finally stopped working on their crops.

Kallen was part of the crowd heading down towards the underbelly, and was one of the few females to be doing so. Most girls by her age would have been married off by their families for commercial gain, if she cleaned up she would certainly be attractive enough to fetch a fairly wealthy husband. Good thing she had no family to take any such action.

Unlike that morning when she had taken an indirect route to avoid the crowds now she was able to take the main service shaft, which was located just under the central square. Four gateways to the underworld evenly spaced around the grand statue of the city's founder. She used to think the statue was an impressive sight, looming over the people with silver thunderbolt clasped as if about to be thrown. Though now she realized all it was is a different little way to oppress people. Like a constant threat that if you stepped out of line you would be among those that had to travel to the underworld.

She remembered the first time she had been forced down here, back in the days she had spent in the orphanage. The matrons had tried to keep her in line till the age of thirteen, when she legally became an adult. Then after she had been found keeping baby birds in the attic she was immediately shipped off to become one of the grease monkeys.

At first there had been a lot of kids like her, over the next few years they had slowly dwindled as industrial accidents of fallers thinned out the regiments. Even less common was the older ones, who after years would finally be taken away to be trained to become a senior technician. Which is what had happened to Dekrin, as she had been on her way in he had been on his way out. After an evaluation of their individual skills she had been assigned to the crawlers, that was five years ago.

As she slid down into the gear-house it was substantially more crowded than it had been that afternoon. Dozens of crawlers preparing to make their leave, each with a long stick attached to their packs, strung from which were small lanterns. Outside those who had already departed faded away into the fog that rose to caress the bottom of the city during the night, but their lights remained, making a star sky appear both above and below the city. The foreman turned to face her, and pointed towards a bag sitting next to him. Kallen grinned hugely before making her way towards in, ripping open the waxy paper. Inside was actual fresh bread, and sliced sweet meats, these had to have been bought from the from the snobby shops along the bottom rim.

"You didn't have to do this, this must have cost you most of your salary for this month. You really didn't have to do this." She leaned over and gave the old technician a hug, and quick peck on the cheek.

"Stop it, you'll make an ole' man blush." She crossed the room to her locker, and pulled on her harness and work belt. The foreman had returned to his listening, and pointed out of the southeast opening before making a few hand gestures. About two hundred and fifty meters, got it. She bent over to turn on her lamp. She neared the edge, and even took her first step onto wiring before a sound boomed over them.

The sound was indescribable, like a normal moan, but a thousand times louder. It was so loud you could hear it shaking the air inside you lungs, a moment after it was done everyone was frozen, but then the call came up.

"Seomnovore!" echoed the cry of the man you had spotted it, then another man, carrying the call back to the gear house. The foreman had already torn off his ear horns to go gaze into the foggy abyss.

"Why did it have to be at night, the visibility is always so terrible dis time of day." He then rounded on Kallen. "You're the fastest runner we got, goo to the central gear-house, they won't have heard that. Tell them they need to get floaters out there to defend the rails, and to organize a hunting party." Kallen undid the harness as fast as she could, letting it fall to the floor fore sprinting to the ladder. Crawlers were pouring in from every opening, no one wanted to be out on the net while a Seomnovore on the loose.

She went up until she reached the control room, she sprinted for the head technician and tugged on his shoulder to get his attention. After a moment he wheeled around to face her.

"What could be important enough to interrupt the main engine maintenance, if we don't do this no trains will be leaving the station tomorrow!" The main technicians round red face filled her vision, and the smell of cheap Selvin root plugs was on his breath.

"Sir," she panted as she hunched over to catch her breath. "A Seomnovore has just been spotted below the underbelly to the souteast." The man's normally squinted eyes widened with horror before grabbing the small microphone he used to address various parts of the maintenance block, and turned the master switch on so he was broadcasting to all room.

"A Seomnovore has been spotted to the southeast, I repeat a Seomnovore has been spotted to he southeast. Deploy defensive airships to guard the rails, and begin preliminary check on all available hunting Airedronaughts." Outside she could hear the static filled voice of the Head Technician reverberating across the underworld. Before the man could turn around to thank her for delivering the message she had already left the room, she wouldn't miss her opportunity this time.

Though the underworld was a complicated maze, it could generally be divided into several sections, the train maintenance block, the underbelly block, and the hangar. Kallen was sprinting through the passages towards the latter division, falling into the surge of people already heading there. The last time a Seomnovore pack had been spotted she had been down with the sweating sickness and unable to go, and before the time before that she had been under the volunteering age.

The throng became an absolute flood as they burst through the hangar doors. The defensive ships had already been launched, their twin hydrogen sacs keep them aloft as ducted fan on the back propelled them through the air. A set of carbines connected to the bottom of the small gondola were loaded ready to repel a Seomovore should their get it into their minds to attempted to attack the sky rails.

"Volunteeeeers!" Roared a large dark skinned man standing atop a crate, in front of him a cue had already formed. Kallen pushed her way to the the front of the throng, having to shove hard to get a few of the more persistent people out of the way. Until she finally saw the table positioned under roaring man, two official looking hangar catalogers sat there, jotting down names of volunteers.

"Me, sir! Kallen Sardiff." The name barely looked up as he wrote down the name, and pointed towards belly of an enormous ship supported by the open air docks. The bulk swung slightly as a gangplank was lowered to both main deck and cargo holds. Large muscled hangar workers brought over bundles of harpoon bolts into the belly of the ship, and crew members traversing the gap onto the ship.

(rest of chapter in next post)

[zalecot]

"You are being assigned to the Silver Saber upon your return if you survive you will be given a total of twenty-nine Seroons in currency or gold ingots. You will be provided with a uniform, which you will be allowed to keep after the duration of the hunt. If you do not survive you will be given a fall burial, and your name be added to the monument of those who have perished in services of the city with third class honors." His monotone voice conveyed just how many time he had said this in the last few minuted. Kallen went over to wait in line to climb the ladder up towards the ships imposing form.

Huge hoses were attached to the intake ports on each gas sack in the Silver Saber's great float nets, and further piped went to fill the water tanks. Kallen grinned as she finally made it to the top, the captain was glarring at each face as he or she crossed onto the ship's decking. Normally any of them would be far too proud to let a single outsider onto their ship, but during a hunt everything would be so strained the extra hands were worth the risk. The tide was beginning to subside as the last of the volunteers entered the hangar, and realized how late they were. Kallen crossed the plank easily, unlike a few of the wide eyed boys, compared to a single wire it felt like she had all the space in the world. Once on they were being funneled below deck where the more experienced hands were assigning them each a cot number.

Under each cot contained a chest with their uniforms, they had been instructed to change and report for duty in the cargo hold. Kallen peeled off the now sweaty overall and discarded them in the chest, her new uniform included a checkered white and grey shirt with the crossed sabers emblem of the ship across the left breast, and a rather baggy pair of sack pants. Nothing to do about that though, this was a one size fits all kinda deal. She had caught a few of the men starring at her while she had changed, and had chuckled when they had been roared at by the crew member for not hurrying up, and it at least gave her an idea for who to watch out for on the duration of the journey.

The crew member did a quick headcount before glancing at the now disappeared stream of new recruits. "You!" He was pointing at Kallen, "Go up and get a final roster and deliver it to the captain's chambers, its the big building on the rear of the ship." Kallen complied, not wanting to make a bad first impression. They were just withdrawing the plank as the gas hoses detached with a hiss. After telling him what she had been sent for, another crew member handed over the roster, and she took off to the back of the ship. For a moment she braced herself, starring at the large imposing Ginder wood door, and then with a deep breath she pushed inside.

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well then another chapter goes by and the narrative reaches it's first landmark of 5k words. Tell me what you guys think, and be as harsh as possible, I want to improve.

[zalecot]

Chapter four: Tower Fall

Kanti pushed the door of the bar open, a few of the regulars turned to glance at him and gave grunts of recognition. If he had still be wearing his ceremonial robes he would have probably been beaten and thrown out on his ass, luckily he always kept an extra set of clothing at Elder's house for their many forays into the lower ring. Kanti held the door open for Elder, who was still leaning heavily on his staff. Now instead of the lime green clothes of a dignitary he was wearing a frayed gray tunic and belted overalls.

Kanti's father thought elder was giving extra teachings in advanced theology. His father was a firm believer that the more new things you put into a head the more of the old was shoved out, so after every occasion on which he found plans for an engine or rotor he would be very adamant about Elder taking him for a "lesson".

On their way to the bar Elder had informed him that there would be a new shipment of schematics, from one of his underground sources. Kanti had gone with him on a few of these supply drops, they were never that interesting, just some money changing hands and a quick look over the product. The Elder made for a booth at the far end of the room, where the cigar smoke became almost choking with intensity. After scooting into the large Bromine leather cushions Elder indicated to one of the young waitresses to bring both him and Kanti mugs of Lang Berry Liquor. He then turned to face the two men opposite him at the table and smiled his large gummy grin.

"Kenchi! I was hoping you would be the one to make this drop, you have been laying extremely low since you were almost found smuggling those high voltage batteries." The gangly pale man opposite then burst into booming laughter.

"Ey! If I had been any lower the beetles would have had to bend to spit on me, but you can't keep hiding in a safe house forever. Anyway, enough of about me. You sir have been ordering some very interesting things." He pulled out a scroll and scanned the list. "Seems like you are gathering everything you need to make something rather interesting. If I didn't know any better I would say it was a long range radio transmitter, but who would my old friend have that needed to be contacted so far away?" He cocked an eyebrow over the list at Elder, who shrugged off the question.

"Who indeed, if that is indeed what I may be building." Their mugs arrived. Kanti sipped the sweet burning liquid, as Elder began to take large gulps, eyes watering. "Oh, it has been a while since I have had good Lang Berry."

"Finish those quickly, the drop is being made in an abandoned sewer pipe line in just under half an hour. If we are to make if we will need to move quickly." He was more talking to Kanti than elder, who had already finished his entire mug, and was now starring at the emerald green dregs longingly. Kanti sped his drinking, trying to finish the rest of his liquid courage. Elder reached into the folds of his clothing for his coin purse, and deposited two copper coins onto the table as payment.

They got out of their seats and made for the door, Kenchi turned to the alley between the bar and the large warehouse next to it. Down in the lower ring was the only place such things could be found. Both the outer and the inner rings were nothing but residential and church owned facilities. Down here was the only color in an otherwise black and white world. A man hole cover was lifted to allow them entrance, and Kanti let himself onto it. For all Elder's show as a frail old man, he was far more agile than one would expect, even able to carry his staff while making the decent.

There was a steady drip from somewhere inside the sewer. They came down into a central drainage room, from which sprouted dozens of different tunnels to Electricus knew where. A soft constant squelching noise drew his attention, even in the large dip that was meant for raw sewage there was nothing but a small putrid trickle, this area really was abandoned.The only thing they had to worry about now was accidentally stumbling onto a vagrant's home or an entire shanty-town.

Obviously no one had been down here for a while, because nearly none of the candles were lit, except for along a path leading to one of the tunnel. Kenchi pointed to this exit and motioned for them to be quiet. They wandered through the different passages, each seemingly small then the last, and after one exceptionally claustrophobic climb up a ladder they came into a more brightly lit chamber

Two heavy set men were standing next to a crate, each with muscles bulging against their shirts. Between them was a smaller man, with teeth so pointed they looked as if they had been sharpened. Elder walked to him and shook his hand, before beginning in hushed tones.

"As I promised." He withdrew a small pouch from within his sleeve. "Here is your payment in non-precious gem stones, and please next time wait at least a few months before selling them on the black market. Last time they almost tracked it back to me, that was far to close for comfort." The gems changed hands and Elder went to the crate. He lifted the lid and peered inside, and then froze. "What is this? A joke?" A high pitched laughter filled the chamber and the razor toothed man chuckled.

"No, not a joke I'm afraid sir, this was simply the only way we could conceive to draw you out." From within the shadows several more muscled men stepped into the chamber. These were wearing the armor of church centurions.

"I'm sorry Gaudfry, they said they would kill me if I didn't do this! They caught me on that smuggling run, they tortured me till I said your name!" Kenchi was almost sobbing as he fell to the ground, one of the centurions hitting him in the back of the head with his short club. After that he lay still, a small pool of blood forming around his head. Kanti stood there stupefied, Elder turned on the spot counting the advancing warriors.

"Kanti, please calm down for a moment. I need you to do something for me." spoke Elder in such a clam voice that it was almost more terrifying than the situation itself. "Haven't you always wanted to leave this place? Go down to the hangar, they are always in need for more engineers. Sign on for the trip from here to the Free State Ulicifer working the sky rail. Once there seek out a man by the name of Richard Silvine, tell him the railway to the stars does not need to be completed." Elder reached around his neck and pulled off the pendant he always wore, tossing it to Kanti.

"Give him this, and tell him the access code is 9374. Hopefully he will be able to figure out the rest himself." Elder pulled up his sleeve, the wrinkled skin suddenly pulled taught, and parted. Under it was a whirring metallic devise, from which sprouted several barrels. The centurions advanced, and now due to the new threat were ignoring Kanti entirely. Elders armed extended, and there was a sudden high pitched whining and one of the centurions fell to his knees clutching him belly, his hands becoming sticky with blood.

"Kanti! Go already!" Elder's other hand flattened and lengthened into a sword blade, his hand lancing out to sever the jugular of the closest trooper. Kanti turned and jumped down the ladder, only bracing himself on the last few rungs above the floor. As he sprinted down the corridor his vision blurred, after a moment he realized it was with tears. He wiped them away hurriedly before realizing he shouldn't be taking this route, they would almost sure be guarding the entrance they came in. He looked around for any ladder leading up to ground level, and spotted one that looked promising twenty meters down the corridor. From far behind him the distant sound of footsteps became audible, Kanti crawled up the ladder and froze as they came closer.

(rest in the next post)

[zalecot]

The steps became louder, and then the of two men come within earshot. "Thank Electricus they sent us after the boy, I don't want to stay back there with that think. We were barely able to hope him still, and took out eight men almost faster than I could blink. We should execute him right here and now, a trial would only give him a chance to escape." As they passed under him Kanti froze completely, even his thoughts seemed to stop as ever sense strained to immediately sense if they noticed him. The moment seemed to stretch out, but finally it had ended they had passed under him. He waited until their footsteps quieted in the distance before he dared move.

Kanti came out in the center of one of the smaller streets in the lower ring. He looked around him for some way to gain his bearings. He spotted the water tower to the east, he realized he was in luck. It was less than a five minute run from the hangar. Though the streets he saw nearly no on except for a few workers on their way to or from work. He just prayed he would be able to reach the hangar before they would, luckily he was faster than most, and in all that armor it would severely slower than normal.

The hangar was not much more than a large open space with a drop of onto open air. A few scraggly dirigibles sat on the ground, waiting to disembark. One was being loaded up with coal, ready to start the stream boilers. It was the only engineering that was allowed, strictly steam based, it was so much more limited than electricity, so much more narrow minded. That attitude was why Elder had just been taken. Damn the church! And his Father! Why did the Dawn of Guilty Spark need to do this! He shook his head hard, snapping himself out of it.

Kanti went to the departure room, where people ready to leave the tower behind came on the first leg of their journey. A bored man stood behind a mesh screen. He was checking off boxes on a list, not seeming particularly interested in it.

"I need to sign on as a junior engineer. From here to Ulicifer, I can preform high level maintenance on rail systems both electric and steam." He was panting and sweaty, but if the man found this odd he gave no indication of it.

"If you really can do that you are better off than most. Unfortunately the next direct line repair for Ulicifer doesn't leave for another week. Though the Hallowed Bolt is leaving in a few minutes, and Ulicifer is third on their trip for doing maintenance on the line between it and Carnifer. I could squeeze you in, they are a little understaffed anyway and would love to have someone on board that didn't need to be retaught everything." He pushed a piece of paper he had been filling out for Kanti through the slit at the bottom of the mesh screen. "Just fill in your name and head for the ship, but hurry they really are about to leave." Kanti grabbed the quill and scribbled his name in, running out of the room and towards the ship. It had since finished its loading, and now the final crew members were heading up the plank onto the ship.

"Hey wait up! I'm your new junior engineer!" They looked over at him and stopped for a moment, steam were already venting from the twin boilers holstered to the back of the zeppelin. Kanti was the last one up the guide plank, and it was drawn in behind him. The steam boilers gear boxes slotted into place and the two large ducted fans on either side of the passenger compartment began to spin to speed carrying them out of the hangar. For a moment Kanti ignored everyone else in the room and pressed against the glass at the rear of he compartment.

This was the first time he would ever leave the tower he had called home for his nearly twenty years. As the back end of the gas compartment cleared the edge of the hangar he let out a deep breath and looked to either side. In either direction extended thousands of feet of solid iron slowly curling to form a cylinder. He glanced down to the cloud line where the face disappeared into the cloud line, the above where the tower extended out of the visual range. The only thing breaking the nearly smooth face were two train rails far above, framed by hydrogen balloons keeping them aloft. They made their way towards this, he realized this would his home for at least the next month. Then a voice broke his inner reflection.

"Will you quit your gawking already, you realize you aren't a tourist right?"

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This chapter was a little longer than the last few. I am really hoping someone might actually reply this time with a extensive review of what I got so far.

[zalecot]

Sorry, it was late, and there are a few more mistakes than I would like in that last chapter. I will doing a second proof read tomorrow morning, and that edited version will be able to be found here

sorry for that, teaches me to try and write past midnight.

[zalecot]

Chapter 5: Void Gazer

Kallen pushed her way into the captain's cabin. The inside of which was dimly lit except for a naked bulb slowly swinging above a table covered with navigation charts. Hunched over this table was tall almost skeletal man, he looked up, and it took a moment for his eyes to focus. He blinked and rubbed his sunken eye sockets and blinked again.

"New... recruit?" He inquired. A hand stretched across from him to grab a bottle off a shelf, his skin was stretched across his hand, and his nails were long and cracked.

"Yes sir! I have for you the volunteer list." She walked across the room slowly, the captain did not look at all well. His shirt was tight enough to reveal that every rib was visible, and his skin was so pale he was ghostly.

"Thank you." After uncorking the bottle he reached for the document and scanned it while sitting back in his chair. His greasy black hair hung limply around his face, obscuring most of it. Kallen almost turned to leave but his voice stopped her. "Only... girl." Pointing at her with his long tapering finger.

"What sir?" She was starting to get nervous now, the man's voice wheezed slightly like ever word was a strain.

"You're... only girl... on the list." He smiled revealing a mount full of yellowed teeth. "Can't... have you alone... with all the men, first night... they'd gang up on you... Move your bunk... to the crew deck... my men are disciplined... you won't be harassed." That long of a sentence had tired him out, and downed a large portion of whatever brown liquid was in the bottle.

"It's no problem sir, I can take care of myself." she span around and tried to make it for the door.

"NO!" His voice boomed across the cabin far louder than she would have thought possible. "I am... your captain... and you will... follow my orders." He dissolved hacking coughs, and spluttered as he drank more of the liquid. It dribbled down his chin as he downed most of the fowl stuff. The smell had moved across the room by this point, and though she couldn't recognize it she knew one thing, something that bad smelling was either really good for you, or really bad.

"Yes sir!" She snapped into the best attention she could manage. "My apologie sir!" His guttural chuckle filled the cabin, but quickly dissolved into coughs again. It took him a good thirty seconds to recover this time.

"Stop it.... with the sir... my name... is Captain Monroe." At that he leaned back over the charts, and waved his hand for Kallen to leave, which she did thankfully. She walked back below the deck to her cot. The crew member that had been shepherding volunteers was sitting on a cot at the front of a room smoking something that produced puff of blue smoke.

"What took you so long?" He glared at Kallen, then blew a large blue billow in her direction.

"Captain Monroe told me that he wanted my bunk moved to the crew's quarters." She stood her ground knowing that the man was going to go into an uproar.

"Ok, grab your chest I'll show you the way." She blinked once in shock. No anger, no fury, nothing. As she collected her things he traced the lines along his bald head. "If you are going to be bunking with us I expect you will be taken off the volunteer duty roster. Captain will be busy with the hunt so he won't be giving you orders, report to me if you see everyone working and realize you aren't. I'm first mate Carter." He withdrew a short pen knife from his pocket and began to pick his teeth. Kallen hefted her chest, and he turned to lead her down a set of stairway towards the rear of the vessel.

"Ummm...What is wrong with the captain?" Kallen wasn't sure if asking the question was the best thing, but she was too curious to ignore it.

"You caught him on one of his bad days." He said without turning around. "Most of the time he is not that sick. By tomorrow he will be his old self again." He opened a wooden hatch, inside was a low ceiling roomed. The walls were covered in slots, in each was a bunk, and under them were drawers for personal belongings. A few men were sitting around a table in the center of the room playing some kind of game, while others sat either on their bed or on chairs in front of the iron stove at the far end of the room. Small clay tiles covered the table, and every so often a men would reach out and move a tile. A short man with heavy facial hair moved a tile, which caused a taller more well built man throw up his hands and pushed off from the table, retreating to a bunk where he sat down, brooding. Carter pointed to a bunk near the far wall.

"That one is yours, we are on a rotation to stoke the stove. You will be put on the roster list, and if that thing for a second goes when it's your turn, I'll take away a day's pay. Since the only job right now is for those idiot volunteers, no offense, to load on the cargo you have free time until we lift off." Carter left the room, leaving a trail of blue clouds behind him. The man with the large beard turned to her, smiling.

"Well well well.... Seems to me Monroe has taken a shining to another lost soul, and this time it's a pretty young lass. Good to meet you, I'm Jemp, the ship's head engineer." He started pointing at the other men in turn. "Gardon, Big Shetty, Little Shetty, Feem, and the premodonna over there is Usoff."

"Hello everyone." she said nervously as she made her way to her bunk. Jemp got up, pocketing the small pile of paper notes he had won from his game, and abandoned the game.

"I bet you are wondering what is wrong with our dear Captain, ain't ya? Carter won't give you a strait answer no matter how many times you ask, but seeing as it involves you, you have a right to know. He is what you call a Void Gazer. He breaths in the vapor in order to try and see through the veil of the future. Most of the time what he sees means nothings, but I expect what he saw on his last little 'trip' was something concerning you. Otherwise he would have let those volunteer bastards rape you tonight." Kallen looked horrified for a moment as she dropped the chest from the bed, but when she turned around she had nearly disguised the look.

"What? You thought he was a compassionate man? Not to say that he isn't, but he is like a big momma bear, family before all. If that vision hadn't named you part of the family, you would have almost assuredly become the ship's whore." This time she let the look of disgust remain on her face, as she unpacked her things into the drawers under the bunk.

"Come on now Jemp, you'll scare the girl." Boomed Big Shetty from his seat by the stove. His overdeveloped muscles bulged under his shirt, she suspected some form of artificial stimulant had been involved in their development. He addressed Kallen directly. "Don't be afraid of Jemp, he is a sadistic bastard at the best of times, but mostly harmless. He was telling the truth though, you may not know it yet, but just you being here names you family among us."

Kallen sat onto her bed and felt the sheets, compared to the blanket that had been included with her cot, and even her own at home, this was extremely high quality. She gave a little inventory of just what she was hearing, and from she had heard so far from her now supposed "family" she was seriously debating of whether or not going back to the volunteers room and trying her luck there.

"Anyway, what game are you playing?" Kallen changed the subject as fast as she could, also making the quick decision to stay here, because maybe the fire was just a little safer than the frying pan.

(Rest of chapter in next post)

[zalecot]

"Oh this, it's called Jou-Jong. It comes from the east, in the great shield town of the Mentok mountains." said Jemp as he started moving the tiles so that they created a flat plane. Kallen approached the table, when he got closer she realized that each plate had a symbol baked into the clay work. "The goal of the game is to create a tower taller than anyone else, you can pick a tile from anywhere on the board. You then place it where four tiles intersect, but in order to be able to put it there it needs to be touching at least one tiles of the same symbol. It is your tower only if you place a tile on the top level, and you can take tiles from another person's tower. If your tile is on top of two or more of the same symbol you lock it in place and no one can move it."

Kallen looked across the tiles, mapping them out in her head. She pulled out the chair and sat across Jemp, looking him in the eye. She realized that his left eye was blind.

"It's customary to bet on the games." He pulled out a few bills and placed it on the table. "I don't suppose you have anything to bet, do you?" Four gold teeth flashed as he smiled.

"No, not a single penny to my name." She memorized the tiles, cataloging where all of the same pattern were touching.

"Oh, let me suggest something, how about instead of money you can bet clothing. Each time you lose I get another piece." He started laughing, and Big Shetty was about to say something before Kallen cut him off.

"Done." Half an hour later she was won the equivalent of four Hurips in bills and various odd and ends. This time leaving Jemp the one to go pout on his bed.

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Might have to put this as 18+ now....

[zalecot]

New proofread and grammatically correct version of chapter 1 now avaliable on witerscafe.

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Zalec ot/690514/

[zalecot]

Chapter 6: Gummy Suprise

Kanti woke up with a start. He wiped his forehead, which was covered with a cold sweat. He sat up, pulling the blanket around him in an attempt to ward of the bone chilling visions in his dreams. Images of Elder killing those solders, and of the razor toothed man, slowly devouring Kanti wile he tried o drag himself away.

"Bad dreams?" Lirine was also sitting in her cot. She had been here hardly longer then him, it was her third trip along the rails. She was the one that had accused him of being a sight seer earlier."You were talking in your sleep for nearly an hour. Something about an Elder, and how your father was a bastard." Kanti turned away, knowing that he would portray his answer on his face. Dammit! Why did he have to talk in his sleep!

"None of your business." said Kanti as he lay back down, facing away from her. He was still cold, even thou the engine was right behind them the boiler still didn't provide enough heat to be comfortable. The constant sway of the ship wasn't helping either, and every so often they would drop alarmingly as they hit an air pocket. He had finally just gotten into a peaceful sleep when the nightmare had woke him up, earlier that night he had done nothing but empty his stomach over the railing.

"Oh, come on. I won't make fun of you, and I'm curious after listening to you for half the night I really want you to fill in the gaps on what was and was not real." She pulled herself into a cross legged position. Then crossed her arms over her chest before making a mocking pouting face.

"Besides, you wouldn't believe me if I told you." By now the breathing patterns of almost half the crew had changed. It was obvious that they had more than a few listeners. He had caused quite a commotion barging his way onto the ship at the last minute. Most run-aways who would pull such a stunt got cold feet at the last minute.

"Either tell us or go back to sleep, because we all got duty in the morning." said the voice of Gibbly, the head engineer for the ship. He had been introduced ad Kanti's superior, and had bee one to show him around the vessel.

"Fine, but you really won't believe me." He spent the next five minutes explaining at had happened to him earlier that day. By the end of it most of the crowd had gotten up to listen, or at least rolled over to listen easier.

"You were right, I don't believe you. That sounded like a huge pile of Yocks shit." Lirine roller over in her cot so she was looking at him upside down. "I bet his story is actually really pathetic, and he made that up to sound cool."

"Screw you! If that wasn't true that how did I get this?" He pulled Elder's necklace from under his shirt, brandishing it at her.

"Looks like a cheap piece of jewelry to me. I bet you tried to give it to your girl, and she hated so much she dumped you." Her toned changed into a bad imitation of him. "Oh woe is me! I guess I'll just run away forever, that'll show her!" Kanti sprang from his bunk, bunching his hand into a fist around the pendant. "Oh what, did I hit a nerve?"

"Never insult Elder's pendant. He might be dead right now for all I knowI Don't just go around insulting people however you feel like!" Her face turned from malice to wide eyed puppy. She batted her eye lashes at him a few times. His anger burned itself out, it wasn't like they had a reason to believe him anyway. He had expected this before anyway. He sat down on the cot, and this time when he pressed his face into his pillow he was determined to sleep.

"Oh come on, that's no fun. I was looking for a good scrap." Kanti ignored her and concentrated on trying to sleep. Soon she ceased her cat call, and the breathing patterns of the rest of the crews cabins returned to the slow even one of sleep.

The next morning he was woken up by the clanging of bells. Kanti sat bolt upright, nearly rocking himself out of the cot. Everyone else was already changing into their working overalls, and he jumped out of bed to do it himself. He had never done something like this, changing in a room full of people. He guessed that just came along with the sheltered life of a Dowen's son. Lucky for him he wasn't bashful enough to care as he changed into the overalls and made his was into the room immediately next to the crew's cabin, the mess hall.

When they had just been lines on papers ships had always seemed enormous, but now that he was actually on one he saw how cramped they could be. Besides the crew cabin and mess hall there wasn't much more than a engine room, cargo hold, and captain's cabin on the ship. The chef, which everyone called Gummy, was ladling out some green slush for everyone. The night previous he had been nervous about Gummy's food, and wasn't disappointed. It was one of the most fowl things he had ever tasted, but now that he knew was to expect he was able to force most of it down. Lirine sat across from his, shoveling the sickening goop into her mouth.

"Don't eat it slow like that, you'll just give yourself more of a chance to gag. Eat it quickly and get over with it. Also, just as a warning, if Gummy ever offers you his "Gummy Surprise" under no circumstances try it." Kanti did not say anything, and continued to eat his goo in silence. The rest of the crew were talking as they ate. Mostly about how long they expected until they encountered a break on the tracks they would have to fix.

"Oh, come on now. We are engine room buddies, we are going to be working side by side at least until the next stop." She smiled at him, revealing surprisingly white teeth, he also realized her hair was wet. He realized he had no idea where the washrooms were on the ship.

"I'm not talking to you." He finished the bowl and got up. Gummy was cleaning up after the meal, collecting the used cutlery and china before retreating back into the kitchen.

"It's going to be rather hard working together if you are going to communicate everything by waving your arms about." Lirine followed him as he slid down the ladder into the engine room. The entire chamber was filled with the clanks and the bangs of the machinery. Gibbly was bent over one of the large cogs, using a brush to clear away the gunk that had clogged the system. He turned to face them, his eyes sizing Kanti up.

"Damn you're to big, I was hoping to use this as a teaching point." He scrubbed harder with the brush, actually managing to remove some of the caked on grime.

"Use what as a teaching point?" asked Kanti. The engine room on the outside appeared to be completely steam based, but since his tour the previous evening he had expected there were at least a few electrical systems hidden here and there. Gibbly ignored him and instead addressed Lirine.

"Go to the cooling system and replace the third ice crystal cartridge, it's burned out again." Lirine scurried away, stepping on top of machines in order to make her way to the depths of the engine room.

"Since we can't have you do that, how 'bout you try and patch up the intake valves on boiler two. We have been losing pressure ever since she started up, and because of that progress has been slower that captain would like. Wear gloves, or you'll melt the skin off your bones when you make a mistake." He pointed to where they were hanging on a peg bored, then moved his finger down to a bucket filled with an assortment of random tools. "Also, I made you up your own toolbox."

(rest of chapter in next post)

[zalecot]

Kanti picked up his bucket and examined the contents, when he had envisioned leaving the tower he always pictured himself on a enormous vessel with dozens of boilers and a gas sack to rival a Seomnovore. Or at least a complete set of tools. He walked down the narrow space between two sub engines, and ducked ass a piston oscillated above his head. The intake valve was affixed to a wall, on the other side of which was the second boiler. It was so hot he was already sweating through the thin shirt under his overalls.

Kanti unscrewed one of the release valves, venting the pressure out into the room. Then shut the way to the boiler entirely, so he could see inside the small pipe. He went to work, and eventually found that one of the grating between the boiler and pipe had been clogged with coal ash. After cleaning it he returned to Gibbly who was talking to Lirine in hushed tones. Once they saw him they stopped quickly, and tried to look like they had still be working.

"Were you talking about me?" he accused as he dropped his tool bucket onto the work bench. Gibbly looked away, but Lirine met his eye.

"Of course we were, after that story last night. I'm still convinced you're crazy, but for some reason this idiot believes you." She pointed her thumb at Gibbly, who was acting as if the conversation wasn't happening. Kanti was about to make a retort, but from somewhere a voice echoed through the room.

"A break has been loacated! All engineering staff above deck to assess break."

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Chapter 6, not much to say.