Tainted Waters

[freesnarforever]

Ch 1:Meet Harry.
"This is Eagle One, coast guard reporting. Just checking over the coast of Vanuatu for any signs of strange activity."
A pilot of a helicopter radioed in to his base. His job was to scan the coast of any islands near Australia for anything strange or any accidents.
"Affirmative, Eagle One. Do you see anything at the moment?"
The pilot looked around the ocean surrounding Vanuatu.
"Negative, ground base. I might pack up for the ... hold on, there might be something. I can see smoke in the water. Looks like someone's waving a flag. Gonna check it out, over."
As the pilot hovered down closer to the water, he could see a helicopter wrecked in the middle of the ocean, somehow still just jutting out of the water. On top of the wreckage, waving madly was a young boy wearing a pilots' helmet and holding a camera to his eyes as he waved.
The pilot placed the helicopter in 'auto-pilot', threw a rope down to the boy and waited in eagerness.
"Looks like you could use a bit of help. How did you get all the way out here, mate?" The pilot asked the boy as he helped the teenager get on.
The teenager looked at him without speaking and hopped in the back seat.
"Just get me home, buddy." The boy replied, so seriously the pilot wandered if the boy was scared of something.
"Report Eagle One. What did you find?" Ground base asked the pilot.
The pilot grabbed his radio and took off into the sky.
"I have found a survivor of a helicopter crash, ground base." He reported.
"Only the one survivor?"
For the second time since meeting the pilot, the boy spoke simply.
"Yes. The only survivor."
The pilot nodded and flew them back to Australia.
Two men were walking along a corridor in a hospital, about to interrogate a teenage boy who had been brought in from a helicopter crash.
They didn't know much about the boy, but they knew one thing about him:
He was the only survivor of a helicopter crash.
As they walked, one of the men started talking into a tape, the other not taking any notice.
"This is Inspector Crusoe of the N.S.W government police, I am about to record a session with a survivor of a helicopter crash which took place just twenty kilometers off the shore of Vanuatu. The time is now four in the afternoon. The date is Monday the 2nd of January 2015. The survivor's identity is unknown, the case unsolved. But I hope to change all of that upon interviewing the survivor." They both walked into the room at the same time, seeing the witness sitting down for the first time.
The boy had blonde, surfer-like hair and wore a shirt that had a skull on it in green, casting an eerie light in the room.
He wore a necklace that had dolphins on it and earrings that matched. His eyes were ocean blue, the eyes of someone who cared for people and animals.
"You must be the survivor. What is your name, sonny?" Inspector Crusoe asked the boy.
"Harry Mclarry. Don't laugh. I HATE it when people laugh at that name."
The inspectors looked at each other and then back at Harry, nodding that they weren't going to laugh.
"So ... what do you remember from your crash? Can you tell me about it?" Inspector Ralph asked, walking around the room as he spoke.
"No." Harry replied blankly.
The inspectors both stared at him.
"No?" They asked, unsure why Harry had answered that way.
Harry pulled a camera out of his bag and placed it on the table beside him, turning it on as he spoke.
"But I can show you." Harry turned the camera around so that the small screen was facing the inspectors.
Inspector Ralph picked the camera up and pressed the 'rewind' button, remarking on the length of the tape.
"18 hours? Seems a little long, doesn't it?"
"I WAS there for a whole year, inspector. I filmed the whole thing. Every day. I've even got secondary tapes and batteries with the footage on them." Harry replied.
Inspector Ralph stood up again, taking the video camera with him.
"I'll get these loaded onto the computer at the station so we can study it carefully. You okay with him, Crusoe?" He asked his partner.
"He should be no trouble." Crusoe replied.
Once Ralph left the room, Crusoe turned back to Harry, who was just staring into thin air, whispering something.
"What's that, Harry? What are you saying?" He asked the surfer.
Harry looked at Crusoe with sharp, scared, eyes.
"It's not over. It'll be back. It's gonna come for me, you'll see. Whatever that thing was, it doesn't like survivors." Harry spoke almost mesmerized.
Crusoe stroked his beard carefully.
"What is this 'thing' that you think will come back for you? And where were you for a whole year? Harry, please, this is important, you have to tell me exactly what happened in the crash." Crusoe pleaded seriously.
"You won't believe me, even with the video. And when it comes for me, it'll go for you too! That's what it does. It'll never stop. I couldn't stop it, even though I tried." Harry replied, coldly.
"Tell me, Harry. I promise I'll try to listen to you carefully. Just start with what happened before you got into the helicopter." Crusoe suggested.
Harry rubbed his hair in annoyance.
"I need protection, inspector. I'm not safe. Interview me if you must, but please grant me safety. Promise me that." Harry pleaded.
Crusoe nodded.
Harry scratched his neck and then started telling the story as he remembered it.
"It all begun last year, yesterday of last year. I had just left home and moved in with my friends in University, and we were all excited about going on our month holiday to Vanuatu. There was me, my good buddies Joshua and Quentin Jones, my girlfriend Sarah and the geek of the lot, whom I owe my life to, David Elliot. We had everything packed and were going on the plane to Vanuatu. We caught a taxi to the airport with all our bags and hurried in, only to find that our flight was scheduled to leave in half an hour.
'I was sitting in the airport, filming myself as I waited for my friends to return from the toilets. I was telling the camera who I was, what I was about to do and where I was going. Our group caught up with me and we hopped onto the plane when it was time to go. I fell to sleep in my seat almost immediately.
The next morning we made our way to the hotel once off the plane, being told where our rooms were and when the party was.
They were having a big, surf party that would start at half-past eight and go on into the night time. It was said that exactly one million people were taking part of it, including the locals.
I was assigned a room all to myself, with a bed, bathroom, toilet; the whole deal.
It was then I got a knock on the door by the room service maid. She handed me a note addressed to me, told me to enjoy the party while I could, and that she and the other maids and butlers were going to be off duty for the rest of the day, for the big party. I was filming all of this, by the way.
When I opened the note, it explained the situation and location of the party on one side, but as I flicked it away I noticed there was writing on the other side too. I decided to film what I read, and my spine turned to ice at what I read, literally.'
"What did the note say?" Crusoe interrupted.
Harry was now in the police station sitting with his feet on a table in an interview and with his hands crossed behind his head as he recalled the story. Crusoe had got Harry out of the hospital once the doctors knew that Harry was fine, and brought him to the station whilst Harry was telling his story.Harry looked at Crusoe and smiled slightly.
"Boy, Inspector. You really are blind!" He exclaimed cheekily.
____________________
Enjoy this one guys. this is shit scary. it will continue on later

[freesnarforever]

Harry had placed a note on the table in Crusoe's moment of confusion.
Crusoe looked at it carefully, noting it had been laminated.
"'Dear sir/madam, you are in extreme danger. The locals of Vanuatu have been informed of an evil presence that will come onto our island and start killing the party people. Those that survive the danger are in the most trouble, for we have been informed that the dead will rise from this evil and start killing the living. Therefore we shall give you this warning. Do not go into the water! Don't touch it, don't drink it and don't surf in it. As of nine o'clock today, something evil will infect the ocean water surrounding Vanuatu.' THIS is the note the hotel managers left you, Harry? How do I know it wasn't written by you as a trick?" Crusoe asked.
At that moment, Inspector Ralph came back in and announced that they had gotten the first tape from the camera uploaded onto the computer. Inspector Crusoe left Harry alone in the room to take a look at the video. Ralph and Crusoe walked into a different room where they could see into the room where Harry was, but he couldn't see them. The computer with the film on it was placed in front of the window. The police inspectors sat down and played the film, talking to each other about Harry.
"What do you think? Telling the truth?" Ralph asked.
Crusoe scratched at his chin absentmindedly. "I'm not sure. He sounded REALLY scared to begin with, like he was being chased by something. But when I asked him what was on this note he gave to me, he acted like it was normal to have something awful happen to him and made a smart-aleck comment to me."
Ralph shook his head and chuckled. "Ah, he's a teenager. What did you suspect? They try to find anything to comment rudely on."
"Hold on. Pause it. Here: This is where I want to start looking at this. Why don't you go back and find out more about what happened whilst I watch for any lies in his story." Crusoe suggested, looking at the computer with interest now.
Ralph nodded and left the room.
Crusoe pressed the 'Play' button again and watched the scene take place.
Harry's face was seen on the screen, whispering to the camera.
"Hey, I'm Harry Mclarry. I'm heading to Vanuatu for a month vacation. I've been on this plane for five hours now. It's almost six in the morning. I'm just going to ask a waitress how long it is until the plane lands." Harry stood up and pointed the camera forward to film where he was going.
The camera spotted a waitress and Harry asks the lady his question.
"Half an hour, sir. And please turn your camera off before we land. It can interfere with the technology." The waitress replied.
The camera turns around again as Harry heads back to his seat. He turns the camera to himself again.
"I have to turn this off now. See you on Vanuatu. I think I might go to sleep now."
The camera blinks to another scene where it sees Harry again, except inside a taxi with his friends.
"So, going to the beach party, huh guys? Wish I were going, but I've been called to another place in the meantime, plus of course I've got taxi driving to do and you never get holidays from that." The taxi driver chatted to Harry's group happily. Harry points camera at Sarah and introduces her and his friends.
"Get that camera out of my face, Harry. You know I don't like being filmed." Sarah complains.
"It's not in your face. It's in my hand pointing at you and the other guys."
"You knew what I meant." Sarah brushes back her hair with her hands.
"So, David, still think it was a bad idea to go on this trip? What have you got there?"
Camera zooms onto David's belongings.
"David! Oh, for crying out loud! You've brought your fucking chemistry gear with you? How stupid is THAT? What, you think you might be able to test the punch to see if it's been spiked? Hahaha!"
David pulls bag out of camera view and huffs annoyingly.
"Just remember which one of us convinced the teachers for this break, Harry."
"Sarah's right, Harry. Turn that camera off or I'll smash it!" The boy introduced as Joshua Jones threatens angrily.
The camera is pointed down as Harry replies. "Ok, you don't have to be so finicky."
The camera flickers to another scene within a hotel room.
"Oh, man this is SWEET! I get my own room! This is awesome! Let's have a look. We got a bathroom, toilet, bedroom, TV, a patio that looks out onto the beach, and ... Oh, the piecé de resistancé: would you look at this beauty? My own computer with games and movies plus speaker command! Ah! I could get used to this. And after all those hours on that bloody plane I'd give anything to go to sleep for an hour or so. What time is it?" As Harry is speaking he takes the camera around the room to show each thing.
Just when the camera is moving back to the bed, it stops at the door to show a maid standing there about to knock, taken by surprise.
"Oh, hello. Sorry, do you want me to stop filming? I can turn it off if you want." Harry tells the maid.
The maid nods nervously and the camera flashes again to look at a note, the same note that Crusoe was holding.
"Hey wait! Come back! This isn't for me! Come back please! Oh, great! What a way to start a holiday, scared to death by a stupid note from a strange maid. WELL YOU COULD AT LEAST TELL ME PROPERLY WHAT THE DANGER IS!

[ZachOmara]

You may want to work a bit on your dialogue. Try to get the characters to sound differently than one another, because the dialogue seems to just blend in with the rest of it.

Also, I'm a bit confused as to how the helicopter works at the beginning. I believe you mentioned that the pilot sets the helo on autopilot. If I'm not mistaken, rescue choppers have more than one crew and the pilot will definitely not leave his cockpit. You may want to have a crew there for realism.

It does seem like an interesting storyline. Just develop it a bit more.

[freesnarforever]

well, it is s'posed 2 b based in the future. however, i can't understand what u mean by the characters. could u possibly explain further?