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Me or Reality?

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DefinitionThePoet
DefinitionThePoet
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Me or Reality? 2011-02-13 22:52:24 Reply

Realization of one's self individuality is the key that unlocks the doors and allows you explore your personality.

My mentality compared to before would soar through the open door and ignore all judgments I made before as I gradually

begin to tour the open core, my emotion pours and floods the floor with guts and gore from thoughts of war, I breathe once more. Free from trife, free from life, more specifically, what life was originally predicted to be, but all this hype on pickin' what's right is the picture that was depicted to me, so subliminally, my intentions to be, what was intended for me is an image to see. An image of him, an image that's grim, an image of sin that crept through the skin. With the wide eyes of pride and those who judge so openly, with the dirt from which I rose, that the people so chose to throw on me, to expose the cracks and holes and hopefully demote the level of respect that I've earned appropriately. I refuse to be a statistic, I'm a unique individual that's educated and gifted. Through hard work and determination I've elevated and lifted these bars of restraint, these walls that say I can't. I go hard for my cause, not just hard in the paint. Now lets pause for a moment to think... is it me or is it reality? Is what I perceive to believe to be an actuality? or have my eyes been deceived by greed so I can breathe casually? They say the devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he didn't exist, which in my opinion is a crock of shit, he's been in your face from the very the mix, he's that temptation you can't resist, he's that alcoholic's favorite fifth, he's that dope head's needed fix, he's that line of fine that the coke head needs to sniff. He's that connect with your weed and bricks, it would take six lives to complete this list. Yet God can compete with this. Or does he have to? Did you have to? Is what he'll ask you. From now on make decisions like it's the last choice you'll ever make,your judgment day awaits and no one but you can answer for your fate

The Audio Version.

Me or Reality?

ChainsawNinjaZX
ChainsawNinjaZX
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Response to Me or Reality? 2011-02-14 09:59:48 Reply

I'm not sure if the format was your intention, but poems are usually like this:

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Your poem could be described as stream of consciousness, which is fine, but it seems to lack imagery and other poetic devices. As it stands it's more of a rap than a poem. You have an ok rhyme scheme, but there is much to improve. Try making it more readable by changing the format.

DefinitionThePoet
DefinitionThePoet
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Response to Me or Reality? 2011-02-14 12:42:19 Reply

At 2/14/11 09:59 AM, ChainsawNinjaZX wrote: I'm not sure if the format was your intention, but poems are usually like this:

XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX

XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX

Your poem could be described as stream of consciousness, which is fine, but it seems to lack imagery and other poetic devices. As it stands it's more of a rap than a poem. You have an ok rhyme scheme, but there is much to improve. Try making it more readable by changing the format.

I agree very much, I will reform it. I suppose my poetry is more spoken. The emphasis and emotion... the "imagery" that you spoke of comes in with my delivery.. However, I will re-write this and and put it in a more poetic scheme.

I thank you sincerely for your time and even more for your honesty.

-Definition