Critique My Aaaaaaannniimmmat tion

[wynand]

Garry's warm intentions

• 
  Garrys Warm Intentions by wynand

  Click to view.

  Type

  Movie

  Rated

  Everyone

This is my latest cartoon and I've received a mixed response to this submission which sits around 3.40, which means people kind of like it?
The comments help but they don't really point me in a direction in which I can go to improve on my next submission.
Does it need more humour, does the art work need fixing/recreating, does the music and sound work?

Any ideas/critiques/comments would be greatly appreciated =).
If you enjoyed it please let me know =)

Thank you
-willva

[Celshaded]

I think it's a very good submission imo, especially the zombie mode bit.

The artwork and animation are pretty strong. I only have 2 minor nit picks:

1. The pacing of your scenes could probably move a little faster.

2. The ending is a little predictable (except zombie mode, I love zombie mode!)

His reaction to the bird popping is also great, I lol.

[wynand]

At 1/30/11 03:00 AM, Celshaded wrote: I think it's a very good submission imo, especially the zombie mode bit.

Yeah i added it cause i'd like to create more entertaining content =) i'm glad you liked it.

Would it be better if it was longer?

Does it need more animation?

Does the music and sound effects fit?

More angles/quicker camera shots?

Shading?

[llnickevelyll]

I seen it, I think it needs exactly 4.16 score EXACT I gave it a 5 but thats just because im nice. I suppose it was a bit short and sound quality well could be improved but anyhow I loved it. Nice shiney badges. You are a very good animator maybe you can make a more longer video see how it scores im sure it would be great! Good job though and I wish you luck!

[wynand]

At 2/1/11 11:24 PM, llnickevelyll wrote: I suppose it was a bit short and sound quality well could be improved but anyhow I loved it.

Yes you are kind and thankyou for the feedback =) i'll use it to better my next submission =)

[MickHarrison]

there is lots to admire here... especially zombie mode
I think better pacing and tighter drawings would go
a long way to improving it.

For instance, he hears the bird, finds that it is cold and
has it in the microwave in the same length of time you
could spend letting the fact it is cold sink in.

he could do a few other things to warm it up before resorting
to the microwave... sit on it, stick it under his arm pit... feed
it chilli peppers........

anyway, it's looking good

once again everyone else can go and jump in a river

[Slackman]

Your art is well made, but could use a bit more polish. It's got a distinctive kind of style to it.

You need to work on your pacing a bit more, which is something that comes with time and practice.

The audio itself could also use some work. At the very least, go to your publish settings and have the audio streaming at a higher rate. If you really want to take this seriously, you might want to consider a better mic.

On top of that, some of the animation seems overly tweened (it particular, the bird shivering just looks like its wings are not anchored well and are just moving back and forth).

Remember, it's not always about length. There is something to be said about a long funny short, but something like this relies on one big gag. In a case like that, you want to get in and get out as quickly as you can (without rushing your comic timing of course).

Overall though, this is a well done cartoon. Keep at it!

[wynand]

Thanx guys =)

I'll attempt to make the changes suggested,

Thanx zeteos i'll defnitly make him try other methods of warming the bird prior to the punchline. And i'll fix the pacing... as best i can haha =).

and cheers slackman =) i'll try and fix all the bits and bobs =).

Gotta love the animation forum, the reviews/critiques are exceedingly helpfull =)

thanx guys =)

[guyfromFA]

its not bad, but the animation is quite choppy

[wynand]

At 2/6/11 06:44 PM, guyfromFA wrote: quite choppy

Sorry do you mean the pace of the animation and the scenes? or that there isn't enough inbetweens in the actual animation?

RAWR =)