Im terrible in conversations.

[tatsumaru7]

I always sound negative and end up talking about myself, I noticed how start allot of my sentences with "I" which makes me think I'm alittle narcissus.

So how should I communicate with others in real life? Without sounding like a douche which I usually do, so I keep my mouth shut : 80% of the time.

[WallofYawn]

At 1/28/11 04:00 AM, tatsumaru7 wrote: I always sound negative and end up talking about myself, I noticed how start allot of my sentences with "I" which makes me think I'm alittle narcissus.

So how should I communicate with others in real life? Without sounding like a douche which I usually do, so I keep my mouth shut : 80% of the time.

Ask them an open ended question. Wait for them to finish talking. Usually they'll ask you a question, which gives you time to talk, than you ask them another question. This is the definition of a conversation. It should go back and forth, instead of just being you talking.

Also, try to listen to, memorize, and repeat what other people say back to them in your own words. People like that.

[tatsumaru7]

At 1/28/11 04:20 AM, WallofYawn wrote::
.

Also, try to listen to, memorize, and repeat what other people say back to them in your own words. People like that.

I demand examples!!!

[Me-Patch]

Conversation skills are such an important extention of your personality. A boring conversationalist is essentially a boring person

[WallofYawn]

At 1/28/11 04:34 AM, tatsumaru7 wrote: At 1/28/11 04:20 AM, WallofYawn wrote::
.

Also, try to listen to, memorize, and repeat what other people say back to them in your own words. People like that.

I demand examples!!!

Examplegirl: i really like guns and roses, and buckcherry, and creed.
Exampleguy: yea, you like gnr, eh? i like gnr, too. what's your favorite song?
Examplegirl: paradise city
exampleguy: really? cool. i like that song, too, but i prefer welcome to the jungle.
examplegirl: yea, that's an awesome song, too.
exampleguy: yep. hey you like pizza?
examplegirl: yea, i like pizza,
exampleguy: wanna get pizza with me?
examplegirl: sure.

Really, tho man, it's really not as complicated as you're making it out to be. It just takes a little effort. Just try and care a lot about what other people think and say and it'll come naturally after a while.

Great conversations are not rocket science, after all.

[tatsumaru7]

At 1/28/11 04:35 AM, Me-Patch wrote: Conversation skills are such an important extention of your personality. A boring conversationalist is essentially a boring person

Im just a quit person :(

[Platypus]

Mug an irishman and steal their gift of the gab.

[WallofYawn]

At 1/28/11 04:39 AM, tatsumaru7 wrote:

At 1/28/11 04:35 AM, Me-Patch wrote: Conversation skills are such an important extention of your personality. A boring conversationalist is essentially a boring person

Im just a quit person :(

There's nothing wrong with that. Just try and be more outgoing, and care about what other's say. Make an effort to make people like being around you, and people will like being around you. Be fun, make decisions, put yourself out there. The rest will take care of itself.

A lot of popular people are popular because they're the ones that invite people out. They're the ones who throw parties, and they're the ones who care about what other people do and say. Don't be self conscious, but don't completely not-care what people think of you. You're presenting your own self image to the world, and the best part is, its your "self" image, which means YOU control how others view YOU.

[Me-Patch]

At 1/28/11 04:39 AM, tatsumaru7 wrote:

At 1/28/11 04:35 AM, Me-Patch wrote: Conversation skills are such an important extention of your personality. A boring conversationalist is essentially a boring person

Im just a quit person :(

Well either way there is a huge difference between quiet and boring. Go live life, if you want to be interesting, be interesting.

[sugarsimon]

without sounds about this conservationism?

[Me-Patch]

At 1/28/11 04:44 AM, WallofYawn wrote: Just try and be more outgoing, and care about what other's say. Make an effort to make people like being around you, and people will like being around you. Be fun, make decisions, put yourself out there. The rest will take care of itself.

Thats solid advice. People usually want to like you, you just have to reciprocate

[satanbrain]

Don't, Speak with yourself only and ignore others if they talk to you.

[tatsumaru7]

At 1/28/11 05:52 AM, satanbrain wrote: Don't, Speak with yourself only and ignore others if they talk to you.

But I want to be able to talk to others o.0

[yurgenburgen]

I have a hard time making small talk. And I also have a hard time asking people about themselves because I really don't care, a lot of the time.

[tatsumaru7]

At 1/28/11 07:49 AM, yurgenburgen wrote: I have a hard time making small talk. And I also have a hard time asking people about themselves because I really don't care, a lot of the time.

We have the same problem!!

[GamesArmor]

At 1/28/11 07:53 AM, tatsumaru7 wrote:

At 1/28/11 07:49 AM, yurgenburgen wrote: I have a hard time making small talk. And I also have a hard time asking people about themselves because I really don't care, a lot of the time.

We have the same problem!!

I have that problem as well.

[SuspiciousPenguin]

At 1/28/11 04:00 AM, tatsumaru7 wrote: I always sound negative and end up talking about myself, I noticed how start allot of my sentences with "I" which makes me think I'm a little narcissistic.

*Fix'd
You are not narcisstic you are just voicing your opinions, something conversations usually involve.

[CaveStoryGrounds]

Educate yourself on local news in your area. Recent crimes, studies, sports news and so on. These are usually great conversation starters and topics for discussion both long and short. Depending on the person other topics might involve but are not limited to movies, music, and video games.

Ask them if they heard about the recent ____, or if they watched _____. Depending if your looking for a positive or a negative conversation look for either similarities in likes or dislikes, or find things you do not agree upon and try to hold a stable/friendly debate on the subject. Give up some ground where due, and gently enforce your position where you are undoubtedly correct.

It really isn't all that difficult to spur and carry a conversation or debate with anyone. Just don't make everything about yourself, leave room so you can change your view or opinion just slightly and try and avoid very hot topics unless you are looking for a fight. Hot topics like religion, sometimes politics, and if in Brazil...soccer, can potentially lead to trouble in real life situations. That is why we discuss these things online.

Hope I helped.

[Aigis]

At 1/28/11 04:20 AM, WallofYawn wrote: Also, try to listen to, memorize, and repeat what other people say back to them in your own words. People like that.

Hey, man. I understand what you're saying, but I always screw up around this point:

Examplegirl: i really like guns and roses, and buckcherry, and creed.
Exampleguy: yea, you like gnr, eh? Fuck you!

[aMikaBoo]

I do not care what most people say so I'm screwed when it comes to conversation. I very rarely crack a genuine smile or laugh when someone tells a funny story.

Ugh, it's so annoying to want sooo badly to care about people and their anecdotes, but just lacking the capability... I don't understand how I can want to care but simply can't.

Once in a while someone will come along that I'm actually interested in listening to, but with the lack of conversation experience I just run out of things to say very quickly. I've pretty much given up, I no longer try to smile, I just stare back blankly. It sucks, I hate it.

*Looks out toward balcony of apartment. Common, you might as well do it.* :(

[Arthuria99]

At 1/28/11 04:35 AM, Me-Patch wrote: Conversation skills are such an important extention of your personality. A boring conversationalist is essentially a boring person

This

[HettySpaghetti]

Just be natural and friendly, simple as that..

[mothballs]

If I were you I would seriously read all of what WallOfYawn said. It really makes the most sense, as I have the same problem as you and this guy seemed to already help me a lot.

[SkeletonGimp]

At 1/28/11 04:44 AM, WallofYawn wrote:

At 1/28/11 04:39 AM, tatsumaru7 wrote:

At 1/28/11 04:35 AM, Me-Patch wrote: Conversation skills are such an important extention of your personality. A boring conversationalist is essentially a boring person

Im just a quit person :(

There's nothing wrong with that. Just try and be more outgoing, and care about what other's say. Make an effort to make people like being around you, and people will like being around you. Be fun, make decisions, put yourself out there. The rest will take care of itself.

The above poster pretty much summed it up all in one.

However I would also advise taking public speaking classes if they are offered anywhere for a reasonable price.

I got some paid for by my school, and they had a massive knock on effect of making me a better conversationalist. Public speaking helps improve confidence and teaches you how to flow your words together and ask rhetorical or open ended questions without the people listening feeling stupid.

The classes were paid for by the school because they were running this special summer school for exceptionally gifted students, and I was selected as I had this natural talent for talking on stage about ethics and morality when serving on the student council. We thought I would grow up to be a political journalist. Oh, how wrong we both were...

[SkeletonGimp]

I hate not having an edit or preview before post button.

Slightly off topic, I feel like a bit of an agony uncle today, but other people are pipping me to the post with advice :/

[m4x0]

Stop being an unsociable twat?

[PikaRobo]

I prefer not to talk.

[Ethaneth]

You suck at English eh? Well don't tell anyone I did this for free, but.... use my secret.
I go through around 3 of these in a month.

Enjoy breaking the fabric of space.

[Ericho]

From what I heard, you should probably try to talk about things that would interest the other person. If you simply ramble among topics that mean little, you are not going to get anywhere. Try to say something witty or insightful and defend yourself without raising your voice so you are not trying to look defensive. Don't call the other person names and really try to let them get their side of the story through.

[tatsumaru7]

Interesting stuff people, its just that when im actually talking to someone there are long pauses where I feel there should be words and sometimes its awkward :(