Satan's Disciple Rap

[OfficialSaintDro]

satans disciple, standin here ready to fight u, grab a sniper and fuckin snipe u, make a ball of fire and ignite u, get gasoline and burn down a highschool, ima demonic dog ready to bite u, grab a michete like jason and slice u, and slice the shit rite through.
im on top of u not beneath u, u gon feel it wen i defeat u, so wen i see u, ima beat u, wit this metal spike cleat shoe, u cant see me cuz my body is see through, u cant shoot me cuz the bullet will sink through, your rhymes are so full of lies u cnt even see truth.

[Minty-Hippo]

Satan's disciple, standin' here ready to fight you, grab a sniper and fuckin' snipe you, make a ball of fire and ignite you, get gasoline and burn down a highschool, I'ma demonic dog ready to bite you, grab a machete like jason and slice you, and slice the shit right through.
I'm on top of you not beneath you, you gon' feel it when i defeat you, so when I see you.

(needs proper punctuation here. Seems like you were going for a stop, and then a quick bite back into the other lyric, commas usually denote a half stop, a minor pause and then a continuance, while periods usually denote a full stop, almost half a stanza and then you continue on with the song at least in rap or spoken word they do.)

I'ma beat you, wit' this metal (Spiked seems redundant and also ruins the flow) cleat shoe. (Onec again full punctuation seems needed)
You can't see me 'cause my body is see through.
You can't shoot me 'cause the bullet will sink through.
Your rhymes are so full of lies you can't even see truth. <<<===(I'd recommend taking out this line entirely, or at least having some other method to slow the pacing. Mainly because this line ruins the flow of the entire song, you work fairly competently at setting up a flow, and then break it all down here at the end... completely ruins the catchy factor)

first off you should go through and fix all the words you changed into something else. Like take all the U's and return them to You's. I mean seriously writing a rap is not just cause for totally butchering the words your writing.

Also, read up on breaking lyrics into stanzas and how to correctly parse musical writings. This will help a lot in ensuring people that read your work actually take you seriously. Most raps are written like poems, despite what you supposedly see on the "streets." Accomplished artists will usually write out there raps in complete cogent sentences, and leave all the shortenings of words, and alliteration to the actually performance.