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Today Timmy spent the afternoon wining and dining his favourite grandma. Out of the 2 grandma's he'd stolen, Jude was the least talkative, so she would often just get left in the cupboard. After a mis-interperated sexual pass at Timmy, the Granny took out her tweasers and jabbed it up Timmys japseye. Not construding this arousing experience, the two of them lay stilfully cold. Jude passed away. RIP.
I bought a can of bear mace then sprayed it on my little sisters favourite teddy. Disappointed at the lack of effectiveness I decided the mace was defect, I turned around and sprayed it into my little sisters favourite eye balls. She started screaming and flailing her arms in the air. Amidst all this my father walked in with a shovel which he'd just used to bury the microwave alive. He took the shovel, dug a hole in the floor under my sister and threw her down it. He reached into her chest, took out her heart, put it back in the microwave, the microwave worked, we then stuffed the teddy bear up my sisters arsehole and microwaved her decaying corpse and had it for lunch. I don't have a mom.
WTF? These aren't stories. More like two retardedly short paragraphs.
"Life is like a dice game; one roll can land you in jail or cuttin' cake blowin kisses in the rice rain" - Jay Electronica
What in God's name?
These stories, even as short as they are, have grammar issues. They're also disjointed, nonsensical and awkward to read. I didn't enjoy reading them.
The first doesn't follow basic story structure - inciting incident, rising action, climax, falling action, finish.
As the poster above me stated, they're hardly stories. Instead, they're just single paragraphs. As demented as they are, you could take the time and effort to actually make them worthwhile, instead of selling yourself so criminally short.