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I was standing there, in the middle of a war. I didn't know what to do. I had just 1 9mm with just 1 bullet.
My true name is Max. My codename is Thor, because my characteristhic "attack" was smashing the enemies' heads with a heavy-duty hammer. I joined the army in August 12nd, 1994. Since then my life was pure adrenaline with Sub Machine Guns, Melee fights, Tanks. The army sent me to every single war they have ever had since I joined. They excuse was "you are a tremendous soldiers, and we are impressed on your fighting skills.". I hadn't got any excuse for missing the wars. In fact, I liked them...
Until November 31st, 2003. That war was the most bloody and terrible war that I've ever had in my life. I was in the frontline, so I was in risk of getting easily shot. Fortunately, I just received a shot in my left foot. However, the time went by, and my comrades were dying. The enemy lost the mayority of their soldiers too.
As I said, as the time went by, my comrades were dying. In the end, it was just me, a comrade of mine, and 2 enemy soldiers. My comrade asked me for bullets, since he hadn't got any.
I was standing there, in the middle of a war. I didn't know what to do. I had just 1 9mm with just 1 bullet.
I said "sorry buddy, I just have 1 bullet. Go hide, I'll get rid of these two.". He hid behind a little house (our army used it as a hospital). Then one of the enemies shot. It hit me in the leg. I wasn't able to walk. I shot one of them and hit him right in the head. The other one pointed at me. I threw him my empty 9mm. But that was useless. Then I remembered "MY HAMMER!". I shouted to my buddy to throw the hammer to me. I picked it, and quickly threw it to the soldier. It went right to his head and left him unconscious. I picked his gun, and it had 10 bullets.
I aimed to him and shot.
That was the final end of the war....
Or, at least, that is what I thought.
Just minutes later, I heard my buddy scream. An enemy soldier had shot him. I tried to run to there, but it was too late. My buddy was dead. Then I picked up my hammer and smashed the soldier till his death.
I was lonely in the battlefield. I couldn't get home because of my injury in the leg. i was destinated to die there, alone.
I was running frantically through the dark, interwoven streets-the floral sundress my father bought me clinging to my thighs against the relentless wind. Tears were blurring my vision as I tried to brace myself for what was coming... what I knew was coming-it replayed constantly under my eyelids, like a horror movie with no end.
"Kayla!" I yelled into the open air, although I knew it was no good.
I rounded the familiar corner onto Lot Street and saw her all too quickly. The mascara she always took from my room was puddling on her cheeks as she stood shakily, waiting for an opening in the traffic so she could cross. Kayla's bottom lip quivered harshly when she glanced back and saw me. I took a hesitant step towards her and outstretched my arms. She gazed intently at the sidewalk, pondering her options. Shaking her head furiously, she dashed into the middle of the street.
I stood at the corner as she ran, overwhelmed by my shock and fear and...hate.
My head turned to the left mechanically. I knew what was going to happen, but I refused to believe it, hoping desperately that this time would be different- that I'd wake up and she'd be there, stealing my makeup yet again. Immobile, I watched as the truck sped toward my little sister. This can't be happening, I thought. Not again.
Kayla was frozen in the middle of the street, facing the oncoming threat.
The truck's horn was enough to snap me out of my trance-like state. It kept honking, getting louder and louder, pulling me into darkness as it neared her.
"Kayla!" I screamed hopelessly once more as the blackness embraced me.
* * *
Gasping for air, I shot upright in bed. I felt numb as I stared at the blank wall, the scene replaying in my head. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my trembling hands around my legs. With a quavering breath, I wiped the beads of sweat from my forehead. In an effort to gain some semblance of comfort, I rested my head on the top of my knees and rocked gently back and forth. Fighting to get a grip on reality, I clicked off my beeping alarm clock.
"Oh, Kayla. I'm sorry," I whispered under my breath.
My stomach grumbled, pulling me out of my reverie. I licked my lips thinking about breakfast and made a face at the salty tang.
With a groan, I swung my legs to the side of my bed and jumped off. I landed with a soft thud and turned around to look at the bottom bunk of my bunk bed-our bunk bed.
My heart clenched as I saw the tidily folded sheets and neatly arranged stuffed animals. It was as if no one had slept there in a long time. Because nobody has, I thought. I shook my head and walked out of the room.
yes its quite long
A guy name Rick took a shit. He rammed a stick up his prick. He looked at his prick and thought it's so slick, he rammed another in his dick.
Lol,its funny because its a serious story D:
In the beginning, there was energy. From this, was formed the creators. The creators were always there, and they always will be, as they know not what they are, they only go on. When the creators were manifested from pure energy, they began to grow powerful, some more than others. So, a great creator, named Axellion, stored all surplus energy into what is now called by men the vault of light. All creators became equally powerful, as did Axellion himself.
Lifetimes went on, and the creators have learned everything except where they come from and why. Frustrated because of this, they instead began to create matches between each other, although, this always ended in draws, as they were all equal. Therefore,, they instead decided to manifest entities from themselves, seeing who was willing to give up the most power, to create the best entity. Eventually, they began to hold tournaments of these entities, known unto men as champions. Creators transfused one champion from themselves. Axellion used the power from the vault of light to regulate the amount of power a creator could put into their champion. Therefore,, champions varied upon their traits. As champions won in battles we could not begin to fathom, they absorbed the energy of their opponent, growing more powerful, they would then move onto a fight with a champion who has also absorbed another. Once a champion of champion had been made, Axellion dispersed the energy from the winner back into the creators whom have manifested them. The most dominant of these were the elements known unto men, light, dark, fire, water, ice, and nature. Axellion was the creator of the nature champion. Followed by Ramdorus as the creator of fire, Glycol as the creator as dark, Lumouris, the creator of light, Aquatiris as the creator of water, and terik as the creator of ice. These champions were those who always advanced into the higher rankings, before the final matches, in which they draw or one wins. These victories happened in no discernable order. These champions rose and fell amongst themselves, and the creators of them were pleasured by watching them battle in equilibrium. All the creators, except Glycol, the creator of darkness.
Glycol planned for many lifetimes to overthrow the rest of the creators, and his despised enemy, Axellion. Glycol was jelous of Axellion's control over the vault and the immense power Axellion could abuse. The time came again, when all of the champions had reached their prime, and Axellion was ready to disperse them. Although, before he could, Glycol disarmed him of his power, only able to do so because of his stored energy of not creating a champion that particular tournament. He used this power to open the vault of light, and with this power, he created the most powerful champion of darkness ever manifested. He named his servant, Ryful. As the other creators bound Glycol, Ryful slipped away to continue his master's work. He waited in the darkest corner of the universe, slowly sapping energy away from existence. Eventually, he became as strong as a creator himself. The other creators looked for Ryful for many periods, and it was only until he grew into a monster if stolen power has Axellion found him. Axellion was alone as he stared down the void that was creepily easing outward toward him, consuming all it passed. Ryful and Axellion had a battle, which ended with Axellion drained of his power. As the void that was Ryful crept toward him, he used a similar trick that Glycol had, creating his champion to continue his legacy.
As his champion of nature, Wolfwing, returned to the creators, the void grew, and by the time Wolfwing had told them of what had happened, the void had consumed almost half the universe. And so, all creators, used their newly found powers (because they were no longer binded by Axellion) to attempt to defeat the void.
In the battle, Wolfwing was consumed, and stripped of all but some of his powers, before breaking free, and found himself in a parallel universe. From here, he found earth, and found that much of it was covered with his elements. The other champions had also fallen with him and found that they were most powerful on earth, because of its elements. They must now rise to power, in order to rejoin their creators in the defeat of the void.
And it all takes place in the newground's flash portal...so...its related
Two friends are sitting in one of their bedrooms. The scene begins with the friends laughing, although it is not revealed what they are laughing about. One of the friends interrupts the laughter with "By the way, I ran over your mother." The second friend looks at him, shocked, and then, with the same astonished but serious inflection each time, spouts a string of cliche exclamations.
He names as many as possible, and then the credits cut him off. The credits will scroll quickly with goofy sounding music in the background if possible, and then, replay button appears.
this is a story about a retard's essay for school:
hey teacher whats up? how are you doing? i hope your doing good. i hope you like to read good papers because geuss waht. u r about to read one. actually its not only a good paper its a very very very very very very extremely good paper. i hope u enjoy reading it. i hope you give me a good grade. (a good grade would be 100% A+). i hope you like to read about supreme court stuff like if its going too libberal or too conservertive or none of those with the 4th amendment. that is wat my paper is about. so i hope you like to read that cuz u r about to do it. or if you dont like to do that then you can not read it then just give me a 100% A+ anyway cuz its ok if u do i dont care its fine its up to you sir!
now i will start the real true paper. the other paragraph up there was just a intro thing cuz u have to have them to make papers. it was not the real true paper. but hahah why am i telling you you of all people should know because you are my very smart handsome teacher (and my favorite teacher). so ok its about the supreme court or something and why theyre being stupid. well it all started when this guy got sued becuase of the 4th amendment. the reason he got sued cuz the 4th amendemtn is he did something bad. then he went to court to have the trial. the judge said he wasnt guilty becuase it was a special thing that went against the rules of the court. cuz it was like a special never before seen thing but i forgot wat it was and its not on google or anything u can see for urself if u dont belief me. so the guy went to the court and the judge said you can be free and then everyone realized the 4th amendment is stupid from the case cuz the guy beat it in court.
then the 4th amendement got fired from court and they had to figure out how to make it better and smarter. they asked the president why did the 4th amendment became a stupid idiot. the president said i dunno cuz the president is just human like all of us he can make mistakes to HES NOT SOME KIND OF GOD JEEZ!!!! then the president suggested maybe the 4th amendment just needs to go to the doctors for a check up. everyone said ok. good idea mr presidents.
chapter 3 the 4th amendment gose to the doctors. he went in and made a appointment and waited. the doctor said 4th amendment its your turn to go in. the 4th amendment said thank you and went in and took a sit on the table thing with the paper on it or w/e its called. the doctor said how are you feeling lately? the 4th amendment said i feel bad and i lost in court becuase i turned dumb. the doctor asked do you have any simptoms? the 4th amendment said yes tummy ache, head ache, sore throat, and diabeties. the doctor asked if he was being too liberal or too conservative and the 4th amendment said neither the doctor said here you can have this medicine it shold fix u right up. the 4th amendment said thanks. they he left the docters place and went and went and drank the syrup. it tasted like cherry popsicles thought the 4th amendment.
meanwhile at court everyone was like what the heck. bad guys and villains were going in left and right winning all the trials because the 4th amendment wasnt there to help them. the bad guys were romeing the streets of america freely. everyone said wow this is bad where the heck is the 4th amendment or why did he had to turn stupid? the boss of court told the judge he better fix the the 4th amendment or else he wont get a raise. every1 was schocked at the news. the boss of court used to be relly nice and jolly to everyone but ever since the problem with the 4th amendment and bad guys the stress just got to him. sorry said the boss of court but u gotta do what you gotta do. then the judge said with great power comes great responsiblity and thats how spiderman learned that cuz he was there and it inspired him.
then the mayor came in to court and said GUYS huge problem all the bad guys are donig all the bad stuff and theres nothing we can do even the police guys cant do anything cuz the 4th amendment is a big freakin moron said the mayor. well everyone said what can we do. i dont know..............said the mayor............i just dont know........................then everyone cryed.
chapter 4. well the 4th amendment started to feel better cuz the midecine and rocky music was playing while he started to work out and lift waits and read smart books and learn about stuff. he learned a lot of things and became smart and learned about the rules of court and everything about court and became smart again. he was just about to go back to court and say he was smart and stuff again when he suddenly heard the news on the news. the war between the bad guys vs the police and court people broke out. it was the biggest war ever made because it was sooooooo bad. everyone was like this war is gonna end the hole universe! the 4th amendment knew wat he had to do. he enlisted in the army and joined the police and court people side. he was shipped off to basic training after 1 weeks and in 1 months he learned everything about war and the army because he was super smart. the 4th amendment was like wow this medicine is realy good cuz now im a geniouse! and he can learn everything fast. now i can do 9999999999 push ups and he was ready for war. the war was gonna start in like 5 days and he was talk to his fellow comerades who was on the police and court people side of the army and they were talking about how this war is gonna be so crazy and bad that there all gonna die. they wrote in their diaries that they loved there family and they were gonna die. his friend demarcus handed the 4th amendment a cig. ur gonna need this pal said demarcus it may be ur last puff soldier. the 4th amendment looked at demarcus's face and smiled. he said thanks friend and took a puff of a cig. when the 4th amendment smoke the cig all the sudden he felt super mega powerfull! demarcus was like whaoh 4th amendment ur glowing like goku from dbz when he goes super sayan! whoaho said the 4th amendment. thats when he relized he had super fire powers and stuff cuz the medicine he got from the doctor was so good and special ssecret mutated medicine thats why it was so good and weird. with great power comes great responsibilty spiderman told the 4th amendment cuz spiderman was a soldier in the war too and he was there and the 4th amendment's friend too.
chapter 5 hell to pay. it was a dark and stormy night in america city and it was really dark and the sky looked like heck and there were 999999 thunders and 99999999 lightnings every second it was crazy. this was the day the war started. all the bad guys were getting ready with their guns and wepons and stuff and the good soldiers for the police and court people were getting readdy too.all the sudden the president said CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they all were screaming and rushing at eachother in chaos and shooting and bombs going off and thunder and lightning and BOOM BOOM BOOM RATATATATATATA TTT TT TTT PYEW PYEW KAPLOWWY!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!! it was so loud the whole world heard and there was firey everywhere and america was turning to ruins. the 4th amendment was busy flying around in the sky shooting everyone with fire balls and cool beams. the bad guy army forces were dwindling. but the police and court peoples army were low in spirits and moral. and they were running out of ammo. and other stuff. it was so loud it woke up the aliens all the way from mars and they came in there space ship and yelled STOP THIS PUNY HUMANS but the humands didnt hear cuz it was so loud. so the aliens started attacking with lazers. everyone was like OMG and dived for cover. it was like the movie with the aliens that had that girl in it i forgot what its called though its like uhhh i dunno its really hard to remember uh war world or something like that i dunno sorry geez i dont remember every movie ever made god shut up. so they were attacking like that one alien movie and everyone was freaking out and they thoght they were all gonna die. but the 4th amendment was super strong at this time and got a new level of super powers and it was never seen before powers. (continued)
(continued from previous post)
no one thought that level of powers could every be reached i nthe whole world. it was crazy. the 4th amendment said leave america alone or if you wanna kill america you gotta get through me tough guys and pick on someone your own size! the aliens were like what did you just say pathetic weakling and the 4th amendmnet said u heard me butt face. this got the aliens REALLY mad and they charged all there lazers at him. the 4th amendments swiftly flew through all the lazers and was dodging all the lazers there were like 9999 lazers and he was flying all through them and he was charging up a giant beam and when he got up to 1 alien space ship and blasted it with a giant beam right inthe face and a huge beam went thru it and the camera angle was really far out so you saw the awesome red hellish clouds and lightning and outline of the ruined city and this magnificent giant beam going clear through the spaceship. it was so crazy. everyone was in awe and said wow 4th amendment your our hero and all the humans joined together even the bad guys and cops and court guys joined together as one and everyone in the whole world joined together as one in one unity to help the 4th amendment kill the aliens. the epic battle took 20 months and everyone was dying and super tired but the crazy battle turned everyone on earth into a bad ass and the alien forces were finally starting to die out. there was only 1 more giant mothership space ship left the boss of the aliens and it was super crazy and cool looking it was the coolest thing you ever saw in your life and giant. the boss alien said muahaha you humans thing your actually winning?? muahaha your still no match for me that was nothing i can do way better muahahaha pathetic fools!! then the boss alien mothership turned into his next form which was even cooler than it looked before and super crazy looking and amazing. and it was glowing with red DBZ energy. the 4th amendment was getting worried but he never gives up. I must surpass my current level he said........and he screamed AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH while he tried to charge up the HARDEST HE EVER TRIED BEFORE TO BECOME SUPER MORE POWERFUL!!!!!!! BOOM with a crazy huge flash of light he became the strongest best power ful form ever known that even the ancient people never knew about THATS HOW GOOD IT WAS. and he was glowing with super huge golden DBZ energy around him. muahahaha said the evil boss alien perhaps this shall be a good fight muahahaha! and they both charged at eachother in the air. they got up close to eachother and did super fast crazy moves on eachother and flew around and did beams and buildings got destroyed and stuff and all the humans in the world were on the ground staring up at the sky yelling and cheering on the 4th amendment and trying to help him and stuff but some got killed by beams cuz they were shooting beams everywhere cuz it was so crazy and the alien and 4th amendment were doing crazy fight moves to eachother and teleporting around and attacking at hyper speed and dodging and flying all around and stuff and it was the best fight ever scene in the entire world and the best fight that will ever happen for the rest of the world too. but all the sudden the boss alien got the 4th amendment in a tough spot and pinned him up against a skyscraper and was gonna crush him. puff........pufff.........puff........sa id the alien boss....you.....were.........a strong..........opponent........huff....
.muahha........any last words? huff...........puff........yes breathed the 4th amendment. LEND ME YOUR ENERGY!!!!!!! he screamed to all the humans in the world below watching. everyone looked at eachother like WHAT! and confused and surpirsed and stuff but then they realized and nodded there heads at eachother and 1 by 1 people starting slowly lifting up their arms and then more people started lifting up there arms then more and more till everyone in the world was lifting up there arms and you could see all their energy being transfered to the 4th amendment and he was getting stronger and stronger. the 4th amendment said......wow.......huff....pufff.......
.this energy!!!!!!!! thank you....and THEN HE POWERED UP SO STRONG IN A HUGE LIGHT AND HUGE GOLDEN CRAZY ENERGY WAS SURROUNDING HIM 100x CRAZIER AND BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN BEFORE NO ONE EVER KNEW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO GET THIS STRONG AND IT BLAST THE ALIEN BOSS OFF OF HIM AND HE GOT OUT OF HIS GRASP AND THE ALIEN BOSS WAS LIKE WHAT IS THIS!?!?! AND THE 4TH AMENDMENT DID A GIANT GOLDEN FLAMING SPIRIT BOMB AND TOSSED IT AT THE ALIEN BOSS AND YELLED DONT MESS WITH AMERICA AND LONG LIVE THE RULES OF THE COURT!!!!! AND THE ALIEN BOSS WAS LIKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARgrghg lblbl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!as the giant beam swallowed him up! and the alien boss was destroyed. all the humans cheered and freaked out and everyone was like ommmmmmmmmggggggg and the 4th amendment was their hero of the world! and the storm stoopped and the clouds parted and a blue sky came and the sun was shining and there was a raindbow behind the 4th amendment. and he looked down upon his his brothers and sisters. and he smiled.
chapter 5 epiloge. well the 4th amendment got his job back at the court and everyone was all happy and stuff and everything was perfect and the 4th amendment was a genious now and stuff and a hero and like all the bad guys didnt even want to be bad anymore and the 4th amendment married the 5th amendment and had 3 kids the 6th amendment the 7th amedment and johnson. the court people threw him a hero celebration party and everyone in the world came even spiderman to honor the 4th amendment. the boss of court turned happy and jolly again and gave EVERYONE a raise. the mayor declared the 4th of july the 4th of amendment day. the president gave everyone a million dollars and the economic problems were solved! and he also gave the 4th amendment a handshake and a hug. and everyone found out whether the supreme court is going too liberal or too conservative or neither with the 4th amdenment. and everyone else was happy and everything and all that stuff. and everyone lived happily ever after.
Ok, one more.
So a guy is on the freeway trying to make it to his friend's new apartment, but he doesn't know where it is since he lives out of town. The friend says he would rather his cousin who is Korean but sounds like a black gangster tell him the way to go because he knows his friend will think it's funny. The whole joke is based on the Korean guy just going off in saying the directions in the most unnecessarily excited black gangster manner.
Sorry for the grammar issues... run on sentences and what not.
One day, John was looking through his dark attic and found a Jack-in-a-box which his grandpa left for him after he died from unknown causes. He turned the handle and nothing came out. All of a sudden a man with no face stabs him from behind.
A sarcastic amputee knight went on an epic quest to save his bearded girlfriend that was kidnapped by a dragon that spits heaters.
A guy walks down the street... calls the old man out and old man turns into a transformer then... (have fun with it)
Animation I want to be the Best Fucker.
Guys talking abotu a ghetto school and guy says yea black 2 preg girls be fighting and its like dude when even when there done fighting the baby comes out swinging like jimbo slice..
Animation I want to be the Best Fucker.
human eating plant
there is this really tiny plant in an allyway. Everytime someone comes near, it becomes big and swallows the person. One time, a really fat guy comes and the plant grabs him, but cannot even lift its head up to swallow. Eventually, it does but it chokes on that guy because he was too fat.
I suggest, animating a man in a suit, who sits next to an automatic door (at albertsons and what not) and Steps on the mat in order to open the door for those wishing to enter the market. I suggest a monocle with a British accent, saying things such as "what what what" and " Ah yes quiet sir" as he opens the doors, hilarity would ensue.
At 1/28/11 07:17 PM, FBIpolux wrote: ROB
Within a few days or so, there is a massive pile-up of half-assed entries invented by authors who's understanding of great entertainment consists of a Royale with Cheese and two very lazy eyes staring down some black-and-white photoshopped hoodlum who spat out random bullshit and then, thirty seconds later, we are welcomed to the relieving visage of Ned Flanders and a Replay Button. Somewhere amidst all that... is my story collecting massive amounts of fucking dust. So let me try this wonderful scheme once again for shits and giggles:
An aging internet personality trying to return to his flash-submitting prime suffers an affliction. He does to a leading diagnostician with the phrase "My Horrible Ass is Rotting, What the Fuck is Wrong with Me?". Then the doctor says, "But of course you're not rotting. There's nothing fucking wrong with you." And the whole goddamned audience is baffled by his sharp insight. To which he says, "Admins lie." And we get to see Ned Flanders and a Replay Button.
Feel free to ad lib, you poor fuckers.
Tom Fulp was masturbating in an illegal website, pedophilia. Stamper then entered the room and shot him to Tom Fulp and raped her corpse, Pico was there too
A criminal is sentenced to his death.
But before he is dead, he signed a lease for his organs to be harvested and used to save lives for others in need of them.
Knowing this, he prayed to the devil to curse his body and all who use them. So that his evil desires may live through the innocent, tempting them, and controlling their minds and bodies.
His liver goes into a man who murders his wife.
His heart goes into a little girl, who steals her mothers purse.
His kidneys forces a teenager to commit suicide after things go wrong in his life.
The only way to break the curse is to return the organs to the rotting corpse of the criminal.
Dear creator of this movie,
So, as you were a little child after your mother gave birth to you, the anarchy army, which are enemies of the world, came in and shot your family, but luckily General Kissmybutt came in with a machete and dual uzi's and shot the army and they went away scared. You were the only one to survive, but you have burned up after they have blown up the wall. General kissmybutt named you Private Kurt and has raised you for years in the army. You learn school there, you poop there and you don't make friends there.All these years you have been trained to be a soldier with an real attitude and real honor. You have ran through every type of weather during the years: You have ran through rain,hailstorm,snow,tornado's,global warming and even flu season!
You are now 18 and you have joined your first war with the anarchy guys, all of your other teamates use M16's,minigun's and etc. , You use only a double barrel sawn off shotgun and lots of ammo.
You have passed your first war with a victory to your team and only 1 bullet in your leg.
You have been awarded to be an officer and you were very pleased.
The next night, General Kissmybutt was murdered quietley with a note saying ,,Blood is red, veins are blue, if you don't find us, we will blow you!'' . Officer Kurt was mad that he's general died, so he went on a one man army!