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Give me ONE good reason why this story isn't fake.

At 12/22/10 01:49 PM, SirCannabisClock wrote: You've obviously never had sex, because no one in their right mind would use a condom.

Really? Then it is your own fault for getting this girl pregnant. Sure, sex without a condom is WAY better than sex without one, but if you take the risk of having sex with a girl you barely know, its on you if you get a disease or get her pregnant. I've had sex without a condom before, but with someone I was in a very trusting and loving relationship with, and she was on birth control because we didn't want any damn kids when neither of us were even out of college.

She should respect the fact that it's mine too and I don't want it.

If you knew this girl, even just as a close friend instead of a random hook up, both you and her might have had a conversation about an abortion or other options. You could have come up with a solution that both you and her can agree with and isn't too much against your beliefs. But you don't have that type of relationship, and ultimately, the choice is hers. You don't want it, then fine. Don't be a father to it. Pay your child support and live with it the rest of your life.

Also I find it odd that you are pro-life as well as she is, but you are trying to FORCE her into getting an abortion just to save your ass. Maybe now you understand how difficult it is to be in this situation.

And you need to man up and tell your girlfriend that you cheated on her and that the girl is pregnant. You keep using the "But I love her and don't want to fuck it up" excuse and you need to stop it. If you love her as much as you claim you do, than you wouldn't have cheated on her. But lets say in a moment of weakness you did anyways. If you love her as much as you say you do, you would tell her, because you should respect her enough to let someone you LOVE know the truth. You're just like a little kid right now, afraid to get caught. Well suck it the fuck up and tell her.

Will she be pissed and will you experience the full furry of a woman? Probably, but so what. Work through it and try to come out better. Otherwise you have no business being in this or any other relationship and she deserves better.

And its not good to hide things from someone you love. Eventually the truth will get out there, and then she'll be more angry at you for lying than cheating. Then you will lose her.

I'm sure you'll come up with some excuse to not follow this or other's advice because you're afraid, but grow up. Do the right thing, even if it hurts you. You made the mistake, you have to live with it. You're not looking for advice on the right thing to do, you're just looking at someone to feel sorry for you and coddle you and say, "You're right, its ok, everything will be alright." and then feed you cookies or some bullshit. The people in this thread who have given you advice have given you the right thing to do, and in most situations, that's not what you want to hear, but its what you have to do.

And I apologize for being so heated and angry in this post, but for you to throw away people's advice when you asked for just because you don't like it, it makes you look childish. And for you to keep finding excuses for this woman to have an abortion to make you feel better and help you is wrong as well. Your attitude with your girlfriend and the truth is deplorable as well.

I have given you my advice. Please take it. Do what is right for your relationship (tell her the truth) and do what is right for your unborn child (take responsibility).

And now for something that nobody has said yet.

Good luck.

Have you tried intentionally causing a miscarriage?

because there are ways to do it without that girl knowing.

At 12/17/10 03:42 PM, SirCannabisClock wrote: dude you don't know me and how much I fucking love this girl and now you're gonna go and talk shit? Why do you think I'm trying so hard to find a way to lie to her about this horrible mistake. Fuck you man

If you loved her, you wouldn't be lying to her about something like this.
If you loved her, you would have never cheated on her in the first place.
If you loved her, you would be honest with her.

P.S. I'm well aware I'm 3 pages late, I really just wanted to point that out.

be a fucking man about and take care of you fucking child you asshole

Wow. Just wow.

You should tell your dad! :D

You don't have to support the baby you know.

Sure you don't want it but she does and considering that she is the one carrying the child it is ultimately HER decision. If you don't want to be a father to the child then you really don't have to.

Your main concern right now should be about being honest with your girlfriend. Most likely you will lose her but it would be far better for you to tell her now then her finding out after the child is born and the mother comes knocking.

At the end of the day though it is your fault. You got yourself into this mess and you fucked up royally.

You can either be a dad or just be a coward and walk away. Up to you now.

Why didn't you used rubbers? They are so cheap and sometimes free! You deserve that for cheating on your girlfriend.

At 12/17/10 01:59 PM, SirCannabisClock wrote: God what am I going to do?

I cheated on my girlfriend and had sex with this chick at my friends party, and she fucking calls me and tells me she failed a pregnancy test. What am I going to do? What am I gonna tell my girlfriend?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHZAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHZAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OR you can do sex change surgery and pretend you are a girl.

At 12/17/10 02:08 PM, Armour wrote: The pill is around $300-$400 .

You mean I can cheat on my girlfriend, wet my dick, AND blow .4 grand?
COUNT ME IN!

This is a poor attempt at trolling. You're not even a good actor online.

Evidence which supports this:

At 12/17/10 03:24 PM, SirCannabisClock wrote: THAT'S NOT TRUE, YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I LOVE HER AND YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THAT.

Come on, this is just blatant trolling. "YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I LOVE HER AND YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THAT". It's ridiculously cliché to say something like that, nobody who's intelligent says things like that, nobody who is old enough to get someone pregnant anyway.

At 12/22/10 01:49 PM, SirCannabisClock wrote: You've obviously never had sex, because no one in their right mind would use a condom.

Hahahaha. Are you even trying at this point?
This is amazingly stupid. Trolling is not about saying dumb things, it's about making people think you're serious when you say dumb things.

It's is a subtle art. Granted, many people will fa -

At 12/17/10 01:59 PM, SirCannabisClock wrote: she failed a pregnancy test. What am I going to do? What am I gonna tell my girlfriend?

Ha ha ha, oh wow. Nice, this one is better than I thought!
Mostly everyone here fell for it, and didn't realise you said she FAILED the pregnancy test, which would mean she was not pregnant.

If that was intentional, I'm not sure why you carried on the story. I would have left it ambiguous, and not mentioned a baby, fooling people into thinking there was one without explicitly saying so.

But this does get a few win points, although it was still pretty obvious you were trolling.
Meh, 7/10 troll rating for the original gag, could have been better throughout though.

Well I guess this makes me the most respectable clock then...

At least amongst the active at any rate...

At 12/17/10 02:01 PM, Oliver wrote:
Why would you do that? Moron. You deserve what you get.

Nicely said.