I'm A Starbucks Faggot

[FatKidWitAJetPak]

I woke up at like 6:30AM this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, so I just took a shower, grabbed my laptop, and walked outside. No one was open on campus, so I drove to the nearest starbucks and ordered a peppermint frap with a pumpkin scone because im a faggot. I sat down at a table, hungry as shit, and started eating while surfing newgrounds on my laptop, cause im a faggot. All of a sudden, I realized that everyone in starbucks was a lonely man sitting in a chair reading a newspaper and sipping a black coffee... and every now and then one of them would just stare at me. Now that I think about it, I guess im going to be just like them in 50 years. Alone, cold, and sipping a black coffee at a starbucks at 7AM in the morning, waiting for a teenager to come in so I can stare at him for my secret pedophile pleasure. Cause im a faggot. Oh yeah and this christmas music playing above my head right now makes me want to fucking shoot everyone. That makes me normal right?

[Makakaov]

I predict that you are going to cry after making this thread.

[Aigis]

I can't wait to be an old, lonely man. Walking around wearing a three piece suit and a fedora, and holding a briefcase.

But I will never set foot in a Starbucks. I have my hipster cred to consider.

[Sequenced]

At least you'll still have your bowl cut ;)

[FatKidWitAJetPak]

At 12/5/10 09:05 AM, Sequenced wrote: At least you'll still have your bowl cut ;)

Oh dear, you haven't been in the StickAM chat room in a while have you...

It's... gone D:

[Lintire]

I thought people who liked coffee like Starbucks, nothing else?

[Fim]

Awesome story bro :)

[Wunderbar]

At 12/5/10 11:21 AM, Friday wrote: You can't outnumber their douchebag sweaters and their scruffy chins and reading glasses.

James just snapped a pencil.

[merlin]

Everyone knows that its those little privately owned coffee shops that get all the super creeper old guys. So next time you head out to spectate, hit up the little guy (and hey, it's good for the community!) and don't forget your bottle of viagra for grandpa when he walks in on you in the bathroom! Oh grampa....

[Senmetsu]

I love Starbucks' free water!

And fatkid, don't feel down. Rahvy still loves you :D

I guess a guy loving you doesn't make you any less of a fag. <.< >.> <.< *punch in arm manly-like* See? We're normal...

[Obvious-M]

Only time I went into starbucks was to have a shit.

[Yert]

Starbucks is way too expensive for me, yo!

[Magical-Zorse]

I think it's weird when I ask people if they drink coffee, but they really only drink those specialty drinks they have at starbucks. Seriously guys, you're in middle/high school, you don't really need to be drinking coffee.

[FatKidWitAJetPak]

At 12/5/10 11:56 AM, Magical-Zorse wrote: I think it's weird when I ask people if they drink coffee, but they really only drink those specialty drinks they have at starbucks. Seriously guys, you're in middle/high school, you don't really need to be drinking coffee.

I fucking hate coffee lol, but I fucking love their sugar dosed high calorie whip cream drinks for fags. :D

[Cootie]

At 12/5/10 11:56 AM, Magical-Zorse wrote: I think it's weird when I ask people if they drink coffee, but they really only drink those specialty drinks they have at starbucks. Seriously guys, you're in middle/high school, you don't really need to be drinking coffee.

Some people just drink it for the taste and not the energy boost. That being said I can see why people get coffee from Starbucks because their coffee flavors are pretty good.

Yummy for the tummy, baby.

[Cootie]

At 12/5/10 03:59 PM, Piss wrote: any coffee drink that isn't pitch black and bitter is for women

Real men drink the blood from a grizzly bear that they slaughtered with their own hands.

[catgirl9111]

starbucks is allright but there prices a very high.

[AgroNurse]

At 12/5/10 11:54 AM, Yert wrote: Starbucks is way too expensive for me, yo!

I've always liked Wafflehouse coffee... no idea why, but it tastes good at every single wafflehouse I've been at.

[iateamexican]

I don't think they even have starbucks around here..

[GoryBlizzard]

For 75 cents, I can get better tasting and more reasonably priced coffee than anything on Starbucks' menu.

[HibiscusKazeneko]

Saxby's > Starbucks

But I understand. I can't resist that coffeehouse atmosphere, especially around Christmas.