I'm not getting any input fast enough so I'm copying my news post to general.
"I smoked some marijane that might of been laced. I've had some fucked up and unexplainable things happen inside my head before, but I believe this takes the cake.
Sitting in a car in the passenger seat I had this consistent and completely overpowering feeling that the person sitting behind me was robbing me and had my life in his hands. Like I was being backstabbed, held in a full nelson, had a gun shoved in my face and one up my ass as someone goes through everything I've ever had or held dear. Terribly wronged. Only none of this was actuelly happening. I wasn't aware of my surroundings during this hell. The sensations were so strong and un-enjoyable that at one point I said to myself that I didn't want to exist anymore.
As a sunlit dot travelled on my head through the sunroof to the sprout of my hair, I felt asthough it was some sort of tool, poking at my brain. Somehow robbing me and completely violating me. Like a greater power was fucking with my mind and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt like my teeth were all being drilled at once.
I later told myself that I should beat my chest, hard, and maybe roar in anger and pride to strenghten myself, anchor and secure my position on this earth and in this reality. I'm damaged, I believe.
I thought something must of happened. This horrible feeling must come from somewhere. Hopefully nothing has changed and I can go back to living life in first person where I'm in complete control of the here and now and can make every second count. I want to change my life. I don't want to do drugs ever again, but I know I'm stupid enough to do them again because I've already had something similar happen to me."
Am I the only broken child?