I have begun to start writing a NG fan fiction, about things like blams and saves, and posting, I even include some users :D.
It follows the theme of NG being a city plagued with crime, and it follows the life of a cop patrolling the Portal (a huge street, covered with nightclubs, brothels, ecterea) and a local thug in the Forum (a violent suburb).
No-one steal my idea, which I believe is pretty good.
I'll post my first part in this thread sometime soon.
At 11/15/10 03:47 AM, mdf99 wrote: No-one steal my idea, which I believe is pretty good.
It sounds kind of similar to Blammer, which has a few episodes already out :P
I'll post my first part in this thread sometime soon.
As a point of reference, don't go telling people what you are writing or have written and haven't made ready for publication just yet. That is no excuse for making a thread. It will wait around until you've finished writing it and then you can bring it out in a new thread, as no-one has seen it before.
Stick to this thread now, since you've created it, but you're not even giving a sneak preview - you're just telling people not to copy your idea, which is excuse enough for not telling anyone about it.
At 11/15/10 09:56 AM, Coop83 wrote:
It sounds kind of similar to Blammer, which has a few episodes already out :P
Actually, it was your story that inspired mine, except mines a different take, seeing as it's not medieval (excuse me if I'm wrong, I barely read it)
As a point of reference, don't go telling people what you are writing or have written and haven't made ready for publication just yet. That is no excuse for making a thread. It will wait around until you've finished writing it and then you can bring it out in a new thread, as no-one has seen it before.
Stick to this thread now, since you've created it, but you're not even giving a sneak preview - you're just telling people not to copy your idea, which is excuse enough for not telling anyone about it.
Sorry about that, I have written a fair bit, I mainly did this because I was excited :P
Ok, this is the first part. I'd just like to say I consider this the worst part overall so far, the first few paragraphs that is, then it gets good :P
Just saying that so I don't put people off
Start
I walked down the dark street, gripping the handle of pistol for comfort. My "partner" was off drinking again, so I was alone, patrolling the streets of Newgrounds. Newgrounds was a hub of criminal activity. Criminals came from everywhere, wanting to try their luck at making millions, fast. I snapped my head around to see a lone figure hunched over, pacing down the street. I wouldn't of looked twice if he didn't start lightly jogging away the moment I noticed him. I started to make my way towards him when he broke into a sprint.
"Hey! Stop right there!" I bellowed as I chased after him. He swerved down an alleyway, and I chuckled as I realised it was a dead end. His hand went into his jacket, and the smile went off my face. We drew at the same time, staring each other down. Tension cut through the once peaceful night, as sweat dripped down my brow. One step,
"Put down the gun son," he flinched, and tightened his grip. I took another step.
"S-s-stop there, I'll shoot!" he stammered, as I was but one step away. I stopped, and we stood there, guns drawn, hearts pounding through our chest. I dove forward, as a sharp crack rang through the air. I tackled him to the ground, batting his gun away from him, my own rammed into his temple. "I'm arresting you for assault of a police officer, resisting arrest, and let me guess-" I rifled through his jacket, and found what I was looking for. I held the packet of drugs in the air, "and possession of Illegal narcotics," I cuffed him and scowled as I walked down the street. The scumbag would be out on the streets within months again; I was just slowing things down.
I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window as we reached it. The Portal. At least 2 kilometres long, the Portal was the street were practically everything happened in Newgrounds. It was thriving, full of clubs, brothels, drug dealers, you name it, and it's there. I and various other others do our best to crack down on crime there, but for every good cop there's 5 corrupt ones. Crews and gangs broke their resolve, and many policemen end up giving in and accepting bribes, and in return turn a blind eye to anything and everything.
MEANWHILE
A young guy called Wassii sat around a table with a guy called Hawk. They were in one of the many apartments in the Forums, the largest and most violent suburb in Newgrounds. " I tell ya mate," Said Wassii. "This suburb is ours for the taking. We get our act together, get some pieces, and we'll own this place!"
"I like your thinking. When should we get into it?"
"Tonight. I say we cruise round, we see any trouble, we get into to it, prove a name for ourselves."
"Let's do it,"
The pair cruised around in their beaten up car, pumping music louder beyond recognition. They pulled up outside a slightly dingy looking, albeit popular, bar. It was called Zombie Survival, and it looked like the type of place where anything could happen. The lads looked at each other and grinned. They noticed a burly bouncer named Mason. He had a well-deserved reputation for beating the hell out of anyone that caused trouble anywhere near the Survival. They had come just at the right time; Mason was taking down a local yobbo named Davis. The idiot was drunk and was mouthing off and trying to fight everyone. Wassii never liked him, and he knew that if he and Hawk took down both Davis and Mason, it would put there name out there as hard blokes. Wassii and Hawk both boxed at a local ring, so they were confident when it came to fighting.
Wassii sprinted forward and spear tackled Mason, while Hawk advanced on Davis. He grabbed the drunk and spun him into a wall, and punched him hard in the jaw, snapping his head to the side. He slammed his head back the other way, and then kneed him in the face, exploding his nose. Hawk turned to realise his mate was in trouble. He ran forward as Mason kicked Wassii hard into the chest, launching him into the wall. There was a sickly crack as his skull connected hard into the wall. As Mason faced Wassii, Hawk shouldered Mason hard in the back. He turned and lifted Wassii up, dragging the dazed body towards the car. But Wassii broke free, and turned back to Mason, kicking him savagely in the stomach.
"You're fucking dead! You hear me?! Dead!" He yelled as he ran back to the car.
"C'mon man! The mods might be here any second!" Shouted Hawk as they sped away. Moderators, better known as mods, were officers specifically assigned to the Forum, in an attempt to crack down on the violence. Wassii leant back, blood streaming down the back of his head and grinned.
"Well that was fun," Hawk laughed crazily from adrenaline.
"Just getting started mate,"
END
Hope you guys like it, I'm sure having fun writing it.
I like it so far man. The line about Newgrounds being "the hub for criminal activity" got me to laugh.
Also, why all the allusions to the Zombie Thread? They're funny for me, but not a lot of other people will get them.
At 11/16/10 02:11 AM, quanmandetil wrote: I like it so far man. The line about Newgrounds being "the hub for criminal activity" got me to laugh.
Also, why all the allusions to the Zombie Thread? They're funny for me, but not a lot of other people will get them.
well, I'm following the happenings of Wassi and Hawk (obviously Nighthawk)
but yeah, seeing as there's not much action on that front anymore (hopefully), I'll find some other trolls, and glamorize there stupidity :D
Oh and also, Quan, you're involved in the next part, but after that I'll begin to stray from the zombie thread, you're right, not many would understand it.
This is very good, creative, and metaphorical. I see where you are going with this, please continue writing this story, friends and support in this portal I like :)... Excellent style of writing, grammar, dialogue, and spelling.
At 11/16/10 04:03 AM, Platypus wrote: well, I'm following the happenings of Wassi and Hawk (obviously Nighthawk)
but yeah, seeing as there's not much action on that front anymore (hopefully), I'll find some other trolls, and glamorize there stupidity :D
Oh and also, Quan, you're involved in the next part, but after that I'll begin to stray from the zombie thread, you're right, not many would understand it.
I love it, man. I can't wait to see if I score a part in the next episode. Good work!
Sig by Byteslinger.
Writing by John Endel.
Zombie Story! <= read it! Nuclear Apocalypse Story! <= read this too!
"Sergeant MDF, I congratulate you on your lasting performance on the streets. As you know, there are many rumours about corruption, and I can safely say your not one of them. Keep this up and you're looking at a position as Lieutenant. Dismissed," I walked out of bosses' office, smiling to myself. If I was such a great cop, how come crime was bigger than ever? "C'mon mate, let's head home," Said my partner, police officer Dan. "We got a big night tomorrow, we're on the Portal," I scowled. He was right about one thing. No matter what, the Portal is always big.
We walked down the Portal, glancing round, looking for any signs of trouble breaking out. That's when we saw him. His name was Pimp, and he was one of the most experienced and influential figures on the Portal. He earned his name for the huge chain of brothel that he owns. He was in fierce rivalry with a man called Bomb, who was just as experienced and powerful. While Pimp earned power for his "businesses", Bomb earned his for outsourcing muscle. He was in the protection agency, and he earned his name for the bombing of a club in 2006, 24 were killed. I stared down Pimp, and he laughed. He knew we had nothing on him, and despite our best efforts, we couldn't prove anything.
Dan tapped my shoulder, and motioned to the other side of the street. A drunken brawl had broken out on the side of the street. We crossed the street, and went in to break up the fight.
"Ok, guys shows over, let's all let it be," I held back one of the fools while Dan took the other to the ground. One man stood in front of us, eyes twitching crazily. I could tell this guy was on something, and he was bound to go off at any moment. He pulled out a long, sharp knife, and things started to get out of control. Dan jumped up from the man he was restraining and bravely took on the man with the knife. I saw the drunk that Dan previously restrained stand up, and grab a bottle. I ran forward and grabbed his wrist, overpowering him and throwing him to the ground. I delivered a strong punch to his stomach, which would wind him and immobilise him for a short period of time. I turned, frozen with horror. I saw Dan crumpled on the ground, clutching a wound in his stomach, blood pouring out.
"SHIT! SHIT!" I broke into action. I saw the man with the knife sprinting away, and was caught with a moment of indecision. Take down the assailant, or let him go and stay with Dan? The answer was obvious.
I knelt over Dan, talking calmly, yet frantically into my radio. "We have an officer down in the Portal, I repeat we have an officer down, near the Games2dress arcade,"
I turned to Dan, tearing a strip of material from my shirt. I pushed it hard onto the wound, keeping constant pressure. I wasn't sure how much time he had, and fear enveloped me as I looked at his flickering eyes. His mouth open and shut like a fish, gasping for oxygen. We were both soaked in blood when the ambulance arrived, and I rode with him to the hospital, crying the whole way.
THE NIGHT AFTER-WASSI
Wassii and Hawk were at their apartment, anticipating the night's action. They had found a firearms supplier, called ReligiousZoo. He was Wassii's role model, who knew him for his part in a Forum shootout. He was now a small time weapons dealer, and Hawk and Wassii needed weapons. Hawk bought a Glock 17, while Wassii had gotten a Mini-Uzi.
"Look at it!" Wassii exclaimed as he loaded his gun. "I tell you, it's a work of art,"
"Sure is," Grinned Hawk. "So we set for tonight?"
"Yep, Let's just refresh on the plan. The main figureheads Zombie Survival are John, Stick, and Mason. Sticks never really around there, so I say we shoot up the bar, maybe pop Mason, he's the main muscle, it would prove we mean business,"
"I agree, but don't forget Quan. He's always hanging round there, a sort of unofficial protector,"
"OK, enough talk, let's do this,"
The two nutters parked blocks away from the bar, so people couldn't identify the car afterwards. They wore hoods, and kept their heads down. Soon they were only 20 metres from the bar, and they both tensed, jittering with excitement. They looked at each other and nodded. This was their moment.
Pulling their weapons, the launched into action. Wassii sprayed the entire front windows, shattering everything. Screams erupted as Hawk shot the doorman, who wasn't Mason, in the stomach. Wassii stood into the doorway, and saw Quan. He shot him in the thigh, then turned and ran as sirens started wailing. "Shit, already?!" Thought Wassii as he sprinted down an alleyway, breaking up with Hawk. A figure emerged at the end of alleyway. "Shit!" cursed Wassii as he realised it was a Mod. He heard a crack whistle through the air as he rounded a corner, just in time. He sprayed randomly behind him, and was horrified to see another Mod emerge in front of him. He stopped and fired a warning shot. "Stay BACK!" He warned. It was in vain as the other mod tackled him from behind, knocking the UZI out of his hands. Wassii swore viciously as the Mod kicked him hard in the back. Anger was replaced with the sinking feeling that he was in a lot of trouble.
Hawk ran at full pelt down an alleyway, as he heard gunfire echoing, not far from him. He dived behind some bins as a squad car zoomed past. His heart pounded furiously with adrenaline as he sprinted through an endless maze of side streets and alleways. He managed to avoid any mods and reach the car. He was rifled with guilt as he came to the conclusion that he had to leave without Wassii. "He's probably gotten away a different way," he told himself. He drove onto the main street just as a police car swung into his rear-view mirror.
"Arrgh crap!" Hawk floored the accelerator, and the tires squealed as sirens started to sound. He rounded a corner, gaining speed and adrenaline as the police stayed right on his tail. The speedometer climbed as he hit a straight road. He turned slightly, drifting scarily close to the curb. Hawk stopped breathing as he managed to stop the car from fishtailing. He approached an S-bend, now driving dangerously fast. He swerved the first bend, only to drift and end up heading towards the next corner completely sideways. "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiii-" The car hit the curb, and launched into the air doing a complete barrel rolls in mid-air, before hitting the hill that sloped away from the road. The car landed heavily and rolled down the hill, eventually coming to a crashing halt. By the time the police got to Hawk he was in a bad way, so they took him to the hospital. Hawk had gone into a coma, and it was suspected he'd never wake up.
END
I suspect I won't have much positive feedback for this, because of what happened in the other thread.
Just out to Mason and the rest, don't post about me anymore, no point wasting the thread.
Keep the work up guys
Next part will be out soon
