What if your shrink was a ___?

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

So I recently saw a commercial that made me think, "what if OTHER people from different occupations became therapists?"

So post the occupation, then post a short dialogue. Example below:

Drill Sergeant:

Person: fd;alsdfgdj
Drill Sergeant: FFFFFFFFUUUUU
Person: *crying*
Drill Sergeant: SHUT THE FUCK UP

/half-asses example.

GOGOGOGOGOGO!!!!!!!!!!

[Ptero]

what if your shrink was a chair

[Death]

coffin shop owner.
"doc, I'm depressed"
"would you like to pre-order?"

[Jester]

At 11/7/10 12:34 PM, Ptero wrote: what if your shrink was a chair

This question has haunted my dreams for longer than i can remember.

[The-universe]

At 11/7/10 12:34 PM, Ptero wrote: what if your shrink was a chair

But how would you talk to it if you were smothering it's face?

[hitman1993]

What if your pre-school teacher was Herbert from Family Guy?

[SohlTofang]

What if your shrink was Eric Clapton?

[SpaceWhale]

PLANKTON

Him: Potato
You: Potato
Him: Tomato
You: Tomato

[Nighthawk27]

Comidian-

Person: I need help...you see, my girlfrie-
Comidian-So this guy walks into my office, and says, "I need help...you see, my girlfriend is a lesbian, and won't date me. I wonder why?
Person: No, thats not the point.
Comidian-So then he says, "No, thats not the point. It turns out, she is a 50 year old virgin, and is on girls gone wild retirement home edition...
LOL

[iateamexican]

What if your therapist was a deaf, dumb, blind paraplegic with downs syndrome and cerebral palsy?

[Ragnarokia]

What if she was A Delvian? (6:50)

[Bit]

If they were a volcano, they would have you for breakfast.

[Imaku]

What if your therapist was a therapist?

[alfraydo]

What if your shrink was a midget?

*person walks into office*
Person: Where is the shrink?
Shrink: I'm down here!
Person: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you there.
Shrink: Yeah yeah, be seated.

[saltovergray]

At 11/7/10 01:25 PM, Imaku wrote: What if your therapist was a therapist?

You'd be wasting your money then. Also, what if you therapist was Hank Hill?

Dammit Bobby.

[SohlTofang]

Therapist

The Rapist.

:O

[Gagsy]

Flower shop lady from The Room -

Me: Hi
Shrink: Can I help you?
Me: I think I'm going crazy.
Shrink: Oh hi Leanne, I didn't know that it was you
Me: Yeah so can you help me please?
Shrink: Take this book on self help
Me: Ok thank you. Can you add it to my bill
Shrink: You're my favourite patient

idkvefoijgoir

[PeterM]

At 11/7/10 01:38 PM, SohlTofang wrote: Therapist

The Rapist.

O

REVELATIONS :(

[LlorT-Da-Gangsta]

thug shrink: wats crackin cuzz?
patient: well, im so depressed lately...
thug shrink: aight aight, i got you mayne. what you need? i got some of that zoloft, xanax, prozac...

[thelittleemo]

What if you're shrink was doom guy?

Me: I think I'm going crazy
Him: Oh, well what's wrong?
Me: I'm seeing monsters and shit all the time
Him: Are they big?
Me: Well..yeah I guess so.
Him: So that means they have big guts, right?
Me: Well I guess so...
Him: WELL THEN WE MUST RIP AND TEAR

And then he'd rape everyone and be locked in an asylum.

[iateamexican]

At 11/7/10 01:57 PM, Piss wrote: what if your shrink was george shrinks

you couldn't hear him

Sweet jesus christ I remember that show.
He got lost in the grass nearly every fucking episode.

[fuzzum111]

At 11/7/10 12:36 PM, The-universe wrote:

At 11/7/10 12:34 PM, Ptero wrote: what if your shrink was a chair

But how would you talk to it if you were smothering it's face?

No no you lay belelly down it's a very personal form of treatment.

[Prinzy2]

What is your shrink was a cult leader.

Shrink: Have some punch.

[unifiedUndead]

What if your shrink shrunk?

[Manatee]

What if your shrink was
Person:
Person:
Person:

[Grimfenix]

What if your shrink was the man who raped you in the park 12 years ago?

[Chdonga]

What if your shrink was a shrimp!?

[Death]

At 11/7/10 03:08 PM, Chdonga wrote: What if your shrink was a shrimp!?

I would eat my shrink.