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At 11/11/10 08:57 AM, big-jonny-13 wrote: Hickory dickory dock
The hooker sat on my cock
The bitch got off
I slapped her once
Hickory dickory dock

It's not quite as good as the Ali-G version:

'Ickory dickory dock
Dis bitch was suckin' me cock.
The clock stuck two
I squirted me goo
And wiped it all off on her frock.

Try incorporating the clock strike and you should be onto a winner.

The Itsy Bitsy spider
Climbed up a male spout

Down came the goo
And washed poor incy out

Out came the cleaner
And sucked up the semen

So the Itsy Bitsy spider
Was never seen again

I think that is my third

How many will we be doing?

Sorry, I had to edit it

The Incy Wincy spider
Climbed up a male spout

Down came the goo
And washed poor Incy out

Out came the cleaner
And sucked up the semen

So the Itsy Bitsy spider
Was never seen again

Aigis sat in his abyss to write a rhyme - nursery.
He spent little time, but his rhyme was sublime,
Though perhaps a little too cursory.

In the end, the poem he penned,
For all it could transfix,
Wasn't accepted as he hadn't perfected
The usage of the word 'dicks'.

"The Little Creep"

There once was a little creep
whose dagger had the power of sleep
He stalked his victem up a hill
Then struck for the kill
the body landed in heap
Funny how it remained still
Hush now while dead sleep
By the hands of the little creep.

Sorry for the repost. But this is gonna annoy the shit out of me if I don't fix it.

"The Little Creep"

There once was a little creep
whose dagger had the power of sleep
He stalked his victem up a hill
Then struck for the kill
the body landed in a heap
Funny how it remained still
Hush now while dead sleep
By the hands of the little creep.

I got one! After writing a few, I thought this one amused me the most (the other ones had to go too long for the punchline):

Shoot 'em in the knee caps,
Knee caps, knee caps,
Shoot 'em in the knee caps,
My friend Bauer!

(Bauer meaning Jack Bauer played by Sutherland in the now-ended TV show "24". He shot people in the knee caps when torturing them for information. Saying his first name would kinda screw with the flow.)

Hey johnny, I reccomend you commit more to this collab. You have to keep this thing alive by keeping us updated and all. I do not know, but it seems as if you are not spending to much time on here.

Oh well it has only been a couple of weeks, but yeh.

So how many nursery rhymes shall be completed before you start compiling?

At 11/14/10 12:23 PM, big-jonny-13 wrote: Don't worry, I'm still watching this collab like a hawk, and checking to see how people contribute to it.

Now perhaps my opinion isn't worth much, but where I feel you're going wrong is you're not giving people any indication of what's good and what isn't.

You haven't told anybody if their rhymes are good enough to be in the collab.

Why would people submit poems to a collab where the creator isn't even present enough to tell them whether or not they made the cut?

You need to give people an idea of what's working and what isn't. It doesn't take a lot of effort to say "So-and-so: Your poem's in" to every collaborator. In fact, you owe it to them.

At 11/15/10 06:19 AM, Aigis wrote: You haven't told anybody if their rhymes are good enough to be in the collab.

Because at this point it's not up to us to decide. It will be up to the artist. If someone feels your rhyme is worthy, they'll draw something for it. If the rhyme sucks, no one will draw anything for it and won't be included (If the drawing sucks, then it won't be included either.) So it helps to have a visual in mind when writing. The more you write, the better your chances of getting something in the final collab.

Once we have a decent 'pool' for people to choose from, we'll get the art thread up. No point in starting it with only a handful of rhymes :P

Well Robot Day Poetry only exceeded when I was helping Nae

Jokes

The robot day poetry/art collab was faster because there was no specific line structure to follow or theme. We could just make it up from the top of our heads however we wanted about robots, but for this one we have to relate the poetry to the original nursery rhyme, which is better and makes it more entertaining.

The poetry will ascend with time, but at the moment everyone is taking a break.

I will try get some more completed just for you

There once was a Penicorn
Jumped out of Stampers Head
So long story short, it stabbed him with it's horn(in the butt lolz)
Because he wouldn't go to bed.

NOW GO TO BED YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!

We can write original songs and do parodies of songs and made ???

The Sandman [original]

The Sandman's coming with this train of nightmares
With rusty old cars and and terrifying scares
The little one's should be careful at the dusk of night
That's the time the Sandman comes out to give fright

The train heads to a location no one can tell
In that place passengers experience their personal hell

So put your jamas and say your prayers
Hope your not one of Sandman's passengers.

I added one stanza. Hope that's okay

Sorry, had to edit it

The Sandman's coming with this train of nightmares
With rusty old cars and and terrifying scares
The little one's should be careful at the dusk of night
That's the time the Sandman comes out to give fright

The train heads to a location no one can tell
In that place passengers experience their personal hell

So put on your jamas and say your prayers
Hope your not one of Sandman's passengers.

Welp, I tried...

Humpty Dumpty sat on a cock.
Humpty Dumpty started to rock.
Grunting and moaning he got it to cum.
Got down on his knees and swallowed him some.

At 11/24/10 03:42 AM, Fifty-50 wrote: Sandman

I can't help but notice this is very similar to Shadman.

Third try on this one

The Incy Wincy spider
Climbed up a male spout

Down came the goo
And washed poor Incy out

Out came the cleaner
And sucked up the semen

So the Incy Wincy spider
Was never seen again

Something I made for christmas

Cupid was a little deer
With a tiny little rear
but one day had come
When dasher raped his bum
With a 24 inch spear

Yes, it is stupid and grosse, who cares?

Sleep well

Goodnight sweet baby this day has passed
Close your eyes, you'll doze of fast.

We had good fun and now you lie in bed.
Close your eyes and dream of the fun we had.

Tomorrow we'll play, the whole day long.
But for now some sleep, with this nursery song.

Sleep little baby, sleep through the night.
Tomorrow you'll be a princes or a brave knight.

Lovely little baby, I'll switch of the light.
So sleep little baby, sleep through the night.

(this one also was my entry for the poetry battle)

Mother's love

It's easy to get some mothers love, 'cause all you have to do.
Is take the real big shredder out and an ingredient or two.
Take your favourite lover out and ask if he will give.
Some of his time and manly juice in order for it to live.
Don't forget the egg you'll need it right away.
Stir it up a little and you should be okay.
All you have do to is wait, don't touch the brew just yet.
Don't smoke, don't drink, don't jump from planes or its something you'll, regret.
Don't do any of these things they kill the flavour flat.
And don't even think about abortion or silly stuff like that.
So after nine months this step is done and you got another chore.
After labour and that stuff, gut the umbilical cor(d).
Now take the baby nice and fresh and touch its tender face.
Give the baby a new name like Hank or Frank or Grace.
Stir its life right up till it Laughs and cries.
Gently shake it around a bit 'cause "he got his mother's eyes".
Now coddle it and pamper it and show it to all you know.
For this step of the recipe it's truly the way to go.

And once you're done with greetings and all the usual show.
Lets get right on with the recipe before he starts to grow.
Take your baby some sugar and perhaps some spice.
I'll tell you now how to make something so very, very nice.
Now take you little baby boy and slice it up real thorough.
Now for the best and tastiest result leave our any sorrow.
Simply add the rest and stuff it in the blender.
Now switch it on, it won't take long since the meat is really tender.
And after all the guts and bones are brought down to a soup.
Serve it with some bread or toast, it's enough for a whole group.
( a more satirical one not sure about the second one though)

lol yeah i figures something was off, copy paste fail
the proper poems shall be put on soon