Newgrounds Does Mother Goose Collab

[bigjonny13]

When we were kids, nursery rhymes were awesome. Seemingly innocent tales with fun characters that always delighted us. Now that we've grown older, we can see the hidden meanings behind some of them. Little did we know they were really about death, whores and debauchery. Now that we're older, we don't need to be so subtle. And thus, ReNaeNae and I present "Newgrounds Does Mother Goose Collab", a collection of rhymes more akin to the tastes of the Newgrounds public. These have become nursery rhymes gone bad.

The collab is going to be completed in two parts, and it will be in the same format as the Robot Day Collab.The first part is the writing component and the second is the artistic component. The art part will have it's own thread in the art forum and will be created sometime in the future that will take care of creating pictures to accompany the rhymes. For now, all we need to worry about is the writing component.

So what we're asking is that you take a nursery rhyme and making it absolutely horrible and witty, yet still keeping the nursery rhyme style. We want these rhymes to be short and concise. We don't want to have to wade through pages of bullshit. Keep them short and simple, a verse or two at most.
You're allowed to submit up to 6 pieces, but keep in mind, not everything will be included. We're looking for quality here folks, so don't just dash off some garbage and expect to make it in the collab. Make them creative, but not stupid; witty, but not annoying.

Here's a list of nursery rhymes which you can use to base your work around.Use them as examples, skew them, twist them, warp them, bash them, mash them, put them in a stew, do what you will with them. Just please don't just throw in a bunch of profanity. It's not funny, and we wont pick you.

I've already created a few rhymes to give you guys an example of what we're expecting.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill forgot her pill
And now they have a son

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty got some blue balls
All the kings ladies and all the kings wives
Gave him a massage, with an ending surprise

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
Smoking some mary jane
When along came a spider, who lit up beside her
And they both tripped out in the rain

Eeny meeny miny mo
Fifty dollars for a ho
If she's packing let her go
Weny meeny miny mo

And with that, GET TO RHYMING!!!!

[DeftAndEvil]

Um your post title is misleading. "Mother Goose" did not just comprise of short nursery rhymes, but also fairy tales. I was gonna work on Little Red Riding Hood but well, it's not a nursery rhyme.

[bigjonny13]

At 11/4/10 09:26 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote: Um your post title is misleading. "Mother Goose" did not just comprise of short nursery rhymes, but also fairy tales. I was gonna work on Little Red Riding Hood but well, it's not a nursery rhyme.

It initially had the title "Nursery Rhymes Gone Bad", but "Newgrounds Does Mother Goose" sounds much more catchier. Also, that's why you have to read the post carefully to make sure you don't waste time doing something that's wrong.

Thank you for doing so.

[Luwano]

I'm sooo entering this collab.... what a great idea....

.... and a welcome excuse to write and draw that perv stuff.

[Frakenbourrough]

I know a list and examples are provided, but could we still make something completely original with its own tune and all?

[ReNaeNae]

At 11/4/10 10:35 PM, Frakenbourrough wrote: I know a list and examples are provided, but could we still make something completely original with its own tune and all?

Yes, please :D The samples and links were jut to get things rolling!

BE CREATIVE!!!! :D

...also, if you have something in mind for the illustration that would go with it, feel free to include that. The artist may or may not use it, but it can't hurt!

[bigjonny13]

At 11/4/10 11:00 PM, ReNaeNae wrote: ...also, if you have something in mind for the illustration that would go with it, feel free to include that. The artist may or may not use it, but it can't hurt!

Yeah, like for my "Little Miss Muffet" poem, I envision Miss Muffet and a spider (that's human sized) lighting up and blitzed to hell.

[DeftAndEvil]

At 11/4/10 09:33 PM, big-jonny-13 wrote:

At 11/4/10 09:26 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote: Um your post title is misleading. "Mother Goose" did not just comprise of short nursery rhymes, but also fairy tales. I was gonna work on Little Red Riding Hood but well, it's not a nursery rhyme.

It initially had the title "Nursery Rhymes Gone Bad", but "Newgrounds Does Mother Goose" sounds much more catchier. Also, that's why you have to read the post carefully to make sure you don't waste time doing something that's wrong.

Thank you for doing so.

Well, I didn't get to do what I wanted but I made a nurs'ry rhyme anyway:

"Three Blind Guys"

Three blind guys. Three blind guys.
See how they hump. See how they hump.
They all penetrated the farmer's wife,
Who took on all three of them at the same time,
Did you ever see such a gangbang in your life,
As the three blind guys?

[Coop]

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner
Eating his cold meat pie

He caught salmonella
Unfortunate fella
And now is likely to die

*****

Mary had a little lamb
But not the way you think
'cos when the lamb shot his load
it cost $9.99 a click.

[SteakandKidneyPie]

Moo Moo asian ram
Have you any nuts
Yes man, Yes Dude
Somewhere in me butt

One for that hobo
And one for the loner
And one for the paedophilic man
Who stares with an ejaculated boner

It will be refined if something should be changed

Oh yeh if you do not know it is Baa baa clack sheep

[ReNaeNae]

At 11/4/10 09:26 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote: I was gonna work on Little Red Riding Hood but well, it's not a nursery rhyme.

It just seems that people aren't participating in things as much as they used to, so we figured starting small would be a good way to ease everyone back into it! We could definitely do a fairytale version after this one... unless someone else wants to start it now, that's cool by me!

Looks like we're getting some fun nursery rhymes though! Might have to get the art thread up sooner than planned! Yay!! :D

Keep 'em coming!

[DeftAndEvil]

Lol, I have to admit though, these are fun :D

"Jack You Asshole"

Jack you asshole,
Jack you dick,
Jack get your cock,
Outta my chick!

[DeftAndEvil]

At 11/5/10 11:38 AM, DeftAndEvil wrote: Lol, I have to admit though, these are fun :D

"Jack You Asshole"

Jack you asshole,
Jack you dick,
Jack get your cock,
Outta my chick!

If anyone illustrates this, look up "Jack be nimble" in wikipedia and look at the picture lol it is begging to be drawn dirty.

[bigjonny13]

Good stuff so far guys, just make sure they flow because they're all gonna be narrated in the collab.

[SteakandKidneyPie]

I feel proud I was alongside nae in the RD2010 Poetry/Art Collab.

I will cook up another soon

[Aigis]

I fear I may have gone in the opposite direction and made this nursery rhyme even more child-like.

This is my version of Pat-A-Cake, Pat-A-Cake.

Ratticate, Ratticate, Nidoran,
Gloom, Vileplume, Paras, Hitmonchan,
Krabby, Muk, Kingler, Jynx, Arbok, Caterpie,
Kabuto, Mankey, Golem, Dratini, Starmie

[Luwano]

I did my first piece:

Inspired by johnny's "Little Miss Muffet" idea :P

Skinny ninny weedhead puffing on his pot
In came the knocko and locked the toker up
Then came the judge and put him on parole
Then skinny ninny weedhead went home to smoke some more!

Or would "home to smoke some mo'" be the better rhyme?

[Luwano]

At 11/7/10 12:37 AM, Luwano wrote: I did my first piece:

ReNaeNae, big-johnny-13 and I reworked this and made it a masterpiece:

Skinny ninny pothead puffing on his weed
In came the narc to bust him for this deed
Then came the judge and put him on parole
Now skinny ninny pothead went home and lit a bowl

[Aigis]

Apparently my last submission wasn't adult enough.

Wee Willie Winkie sits with a frown,
He reached his forties and had a break down,
Sitting in his armchair, thinking of his strife,
"If I didn't have a wife and kids I'd surely end my life"

[Luwano]

Sparky the Friendly Dog

Sparky was a friendly dog, friendly dog
Loved his mistress and her sprog, friendly dog
But slowly Sparky became ill, sickly dog
The illness overtook his will, sickly dog
His owner made him sleep outside, angry dog
And one day Sparky took a bite, angry dog
He bit his owner and her tot
hunted them across their lot
caught his mistress and her kid
ate them up and gave a shit
... rabid dog

[SteakandKidneyPie]

May I ask what colour people will be using for the art?

[bigjonny13]

At 11/8/10 02:34 AM, SteakandKidneyPie wrote: May I ask what colour people will be using for the art?

I'm thinking full colour illustrations. After all, nursery books have those.

[Luwano]

At 11/8/10 07:50 AM, big-jonny-13 wrote:

At 11/8/10 02:34 AM, SteakandKidneyPie wrote: May I ask what colour people will be using for the art?

I'm thinking full colour illustrations. After all, nursery books have those.

Should it be in a style you find in a child book? Like this, this or this? Would be great, wouldn't it?

[Little-Eise]

Young Miss Horner
Went to the corner
To get her poor pussy a bone,
The corner was clear
As the police were near
So Young Miss Horner got none.

Land in sight,
Sailor's delight.
Green dick on the morrow
Sailor's sorrow.

Seesaw Margery Daw
Johnny shall have a new pimp.
He shall earn but a dollar a day
Because he is an unwilling gimp.

It's kind of sad how easy that was.

[SteakandKidneyPie]

Rein, deer go away
You skanky retarded stray
I want a dog, not something this gay
So please reindeer, go away

Meh

Anyway, another will be served

[TurkeyOnAStick]

At 11/5/10 05:01 AM, Coop83 wrote: Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner
Eating his cold meat pie

He caught salmonella
Unfortunate fella
And now is likely to die

yum yum

[SteakandKidneyPie]

That looks really good turkey

[bigjonny13]

Hickory dickory dock
The hooker sat on my cock
The bitch got off
I slapped her once
Hickory dickory dock

[bigjonny13]

If you're offended by the hitting of women, he's an edited version.

Hickory dickory dock
The hooker jumped on my cock
I lasted five minutes
The bitch laughed at me
Hickory dickory dock

[SteakandKidneyPie]

Lol, I am taking it this collab will be rated adult