Choose Your Own Adventure!!!

[Major-n0ob]

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The Adventurous Adventure of the Adventure Loving Adventurer--------------------------

So today I thought to try an experiment and write one of those choose your own adventure stories. At the end of each of my posts you will be presented with a choice and I will go with majority rule as to how the story progresses. Here is the start of the adventure!

You walk down a rainy street in London under the arm of a local social worker. You are an orphan and a nameless one at that. You've never stopped wondering what your real name is and you often think about setting out on an adventure to find your real parents and find out. The social worker informs you that your time in the orphanage has come to an end. This was probably brought about when you broke another boys nose for daring to piss you off. Nonetheless, you are pleased with their decision to remove you from the orphanage because you've always hated living in that detestable shithole. The social worker comes to a stop and your future options step forward...

A man in a long flowing white robe bearing a crucifix steps forward. He introduces himself as Father Pontius, a Catholic priest of the Lester Catholic Church. He is an older man with a belly and a bald head. Perhaps the most defining aspect of this man is his old-people smell. Next to him stands a lesbian couple in their mid 30's. One is shorter and blonde and one looks Indian (dot, not feather). They seem to be especially clingy with each other, and you can't help but think it might be hot to watch them secretly if you let them adopt you. The last person is a wealthy buisnessman. He has enough money to give you everything your heart could desire, though you are frighteningly concerned about his poorly concealed nazi paraphernalia.

Choose Your Future:

1) Allow yourself to be adopted by Father Pontius in Lester Square. Hopefully the upright Christian upbringing won't be a pain in the ass.

2) Allow yourself to be adopted by the lesbian couple. If your eyes could have orgasms, they would have a great future.

3) Allow yourself to be adopted by the nazi buisnessman. The world needs more hate anyway and when he kicks the bucket, guess who would get the inheritance.

4) All your options suck. Punch your social worker in the taco and run down the street. Out here, you can start your life as a lovable pickpocket.

[anunexpectedfly]

punch in the taco

[GeneralPlanet]

SPOILER: All of them lead to being eaten by a Grue.

[Wunderbar]

What happens if I choose 7?

[Garage]

I choose 4.

[Lucian-MK-IV]

Nazi businessman all the way. Cause i'm a nazi.

[Ragnarokia]

I would go with the businessman, if I don't have a name then I musn't know what Nazis are which makes this even more interesting as I would learn it slowly after being adopted. It has the ability to come out interesting.

[JoseFonz]

I would choose the lesbian couple. You would have a decent living plus the luxury of peeping to see them have hot sex! So yeas this would be my first option

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

Punch the taco!

[Ragnarokia]

At 10/25/10 08:55 PM, JoseFonz wrote: I would choose the lesbian couple. You would have a decent living plus the luxury of peeping to see them have hot sex! So yeas this would be my first option

Ah but haven't you done these type of things before, it's never what it seems.

[Major-n0ob]

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----------The Adventure Continues-------------------------------
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So I've returned and as of now, here is the tally...

Pedo Priest: 0 votes
Lesbian Couple: 1 vote
Nazi Buisnessman: 2 votes
Taco Punch: 4 votes

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You never liked the pisshole orphanage you came from so why should you settle for another pisshole now? The priest is a priest and that possess its own problems as you are still a soft, supple little boy. The lesbians would be nice, and so would the money, but after being told when to eat, piss, and sleep all your life you decide freedom is the most important thing in life.

The social worker begins talking to the buisnessman and they seem to get along well. Apparently, she shares many of his political beliefs. Go figure. Without warning, you curl your fist in a ball, pivot your right leg back for a greater range of motion, and throw a full body taco punch straight into the social worker. Her hold on your arm dissolves as she falls to the ground. Ironically, she questions your parentage out of anger, even though you already know you are a bastard. The others look at you like you are a little monster and you use the opportunity to escape into the streets, far away from the rest of them. Freedom is yours!

In the weeks that followed, you have honed your pick pocketing skills and managed to make due on what you could steal. Still, life in the homeless shelters is no better than the orphanage and the puke soaked alleys are revolting. An older boy with red hair and freckles offers you an invitation to his pickpocket gang. He introduces himself as Alan Corbin and you find yourself wondering if he actually has a soul. At the same time, a man who looks a lot like you boards a bus bound for Chesterwood. Perhaps it is your father?

What do you do?

1) Join the ginger gang of pickpockets and acquire some better shelter (albeit with ginger company)

2) Hit the ginger in the face with a garbage can lid and rob him. Fucking ginger.

3) Take the next bus to Chesterwood

4) Forget all these events and just continue with your own buisness as a loner.

[The3DragonsGroup]

May I have 2 for $600 dollars?

[XanadeadUzumaki]

4 ftw.

[Lucian-MK-IV]

I'll go with number 2. The invitation is propably just a lie, i bet he wants to rape me with his buddies in the back alley.

[Ragnarokia]

You miss the point of these they cant all end up as the same one, I'm done.

[Ryanson]

At 10/25/10 08:45 PM, ChrisLovejoy wrote: What happens if I choose 7?

Lily Allen dies.

[Bluenile]

Number two. Damn gingers.

[Major-n0ob]

---------------------------------The Adventure Continues-------------------------------
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Unanimous decision - Ginger smack

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As the ginger continues to tell you stories of his gang, you continue to feign interest. Meanwhile, you slowly reach behind you and grab the lid from a nearby garbage can. As the ginger gets destracted by his own story, your arm sails forth and the unforgiving metal surface impacts his freckled face. He falls to his knees holding his nose and you think to yourself "this is the second one I've broken". Sadly, the first hit wasn't enough to do the job, so as he gets back up you strike him again. The lid makes a loud clang that reverberates in your ears as the ginger rat falls unconcious on the ground.

Satisfied that he won't be bothering you anymore, you set the lid down and walk away only to find that a policeman saw the whole thing. He is no running towards you with his nightstick drawn. You know you are a kid so the chances of successfully attacking a police officer are pretty slim. You still have the donuts you stole from the bakery for breakfast this morning. Your thoughts turn to jail and being sent back to the orphanage where the social worker you punched would likely beat you. You can't allow yourself to be captured, but with him bearing down on you, you need to think of something FAST!

1) Offer the police officer a donut and hope that will win him over. Cops love donuts.

2) Run like hell and don't stop until he's gone.

3) Run down a network of alleyways and hide in a dumpster.

4) Rush at the cop and try to attack him somehow.

[assassin1337]

Number 3

[Wunderbar]

At 10/25/10 09:42 PM, ryanson209 wrote:

At 10/25/10 08:45 PM, ChrisLovejoy wrote: What happens if I choose 7?

Lily Allen dies.

:c

[Ganon-Dorf]

I'm voting for 2.

[Nighthawk27]

I would choose number 8. The one about where I get adopted by a naked swim suit model and she takes me to her house and the lights go off.

[Shmossy]

I vote for 1. Wonder if he'll accept the donut and lay down arms, or continue his attack...

[Nighthawk27]

number 1. I might actually eat the donut by accident.

[Sindread]

Hey.
I choose 4.

[Wolfos]

I choose number 1, this seems like a fun game.

[Lucian-MK-IV]

I choose number 1. Cops cannot resist donuts, it's a proven fact.

[Major-n0ob]

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-------The Adventure Continues-------------------------------
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Option 1: 4 votes
Option 2: 1 vote
Option 3: 1 vote
Option 4: 1 vote

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The policeman runs towards you with his nightstick in hand and suddenly... you pull out a box of doughnuts. His gnarled, angry face melts into a doughy, pathetic face as he gazes at your bakery box of wonders. Glazed doughnuts, cake doughnuts, chocolate doughnuts, blue berry, raspberry, dingleberry... The good news is he put his nightstick away and averted his attention to the pastries you've presented before him. The bad news is, you only intended to give him one. As the cop snarfs down all your delectable pastries you come to fully realize why they are so often called "pigs". Nonetheless, his little feast has distracted him enough for you to make your escape. You run down a series of backstreets until you are no longer within sight of the policeman.

Your mind now returns to the man you saw on the bus. Could he be your father? Do I care anymore? Should I seek to join a gang for security or continue roaming the streets alone? It is time to make some serious decisions regarding your future.

1) Join a gang for security and engage on a quest to become the man in charge.

2) Continue life as a loner and a pickpocket.

3) Go to Chesterwood and continue searching for your father.

[Lucian-MK-IV]

I'll go with number one. Joining a gang, becoming it's leader, making money from stealing, pimping, killing etc. is what i would do.

[Bluenile]

Number 1.