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Best Joke in History?

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pianomagic21
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Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:29:47 Reply

Any joke, its doesn't just make sure its funny and not stupid, please.

RyderOmega
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:30:35 Reply

Women's rights.


PSN:Ryder-Omega/Steam:Ryder Omega

I'm that lazy bastard who doesn't bother to take down his damn Christmas lights. I still have the fucking kriss-kringle hats from last year!

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GeneralPlanet
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:31:28 Reply

French Military.


Add me on Last.fm | Add me on Steam | If you took something I've said seriously, I apologize.

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Jester
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:31:30 Reply

A black guys goes into a store and pays.

Skwurll
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:31:35 Reply

Inb4thisthread


The redesign happened, now my signature doesn't match anymore.

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MiroDK
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:32:37 Reply

It's the one joke that was told only once, and everyone who heard it died of laughter.

It has never been heard again.


shit's amazing

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samuraioda
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:33:33 Reply

At 9/13/10 09:30 PM, RyderOmega wrote: Women's rights.

A close second my friend but the best joke ever is:

Do you like fishsticks?
Yes....
Then your a gay fish

(laughter)


yeah i'm purple what about it?

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RyderOmega
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:34:02 Reply

At 9/13/10 09:31 PM, DirtyMeatball wrote: A black guys goes into a store and pays.

I laughed so hard.


PSN:Ryder-Omega/Steam:Ryder Omega

I'm that lazy bastard who doesn't bother to take down his damn Christmas lights. I still have the fucking kriss-kringle hats from last year!

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bravo22
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:34:44 Reply

At 9/13/10 09:31 PM, DirtyMeatball wrote: A black guys goes into a store and pays.

Win


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XenonMonkey
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:35:10 Reply

So a man walks into a bar with a bear. I don't recall much of the joke after that, but your mother is a whore.


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TypicalFemale
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:35:33 Reply

=( I just realized how horrible todays youth is.

Sweet-Water
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:36:08 Reply

At 9/13/10 09:30 PM, RyderOmega wrote: Women's rights.

Women's sports.


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PrawDuhJee
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:36:45 Reply

Newgrounds

Keith
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:38:18 Reply

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?

You can't marmalade your cock down a girl's throat.

TheGrim
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:38:20 Reply

Throw a dollar bill on the ground and walk away. Now I am a dollar richer, and you poorer, hahaha.

PENISES


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iTzRitZBitZ
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:39:22 Reply

Wow, these jokes are pretty lame. Keep trying, even though I can't make up jokes xD


Ahhh newgrounds :D

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pianomagic21
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:40:25 Reply

At 9/13/10 09:38 PM, Keith wrote: What's the difference between marmalade and jam?

You can't marmalade your cock down a girl's throat.

I Laughed SO HARD OMG HA

RyderOmega
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:40:30 Reply

At 9/13/10 09:36 PM, Sweet-Water wrote:
At 9/13/10 09:30 PM, RyderOmega wrote: Women's rights.
Women's sports.

Women's sports created the abomination of "SoftBall".

srsly, take a hit to the face from a real baseball like a man!

PSN:Ryder-Omega/Steam:Ryder Omega

I'm that lazy bastard who doesn't bother to take down his damn Christmas lights. I still have the fucking kriss-kringle hats from last year!

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KeroKeroMario
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:41:23 Reply

At 9/13/10 09:35 PM, XenonMonkey wrote: So a man walks into a bar with a bear. I don't recall much of the joke after that, but your mother is a whore.

I laughed.

Ptero
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:41:32 Reply

What's the difference between a lamp and an alarm clock?

One tells time while the other one lights up your room.

go away
TheGrim
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:42:42 Reply

What's the difference between a guy and a girl? None! I want to stick my c**k in both- wait...that's not how the joke went at all...


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Supasang
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:43:22 Reply

Sorry but your princess is in another castle!


"If music be the food of love, play on.'~Spongebob

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Tinnitus
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:46:52 Reply

Guess what.

Chicken butt.

Best Joke in History?


Check out My Youtube Channel! I'll accept any friend invite.

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Jester
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:47:41 Reply

"I'm going to go push orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?"

TheGrim
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-13 21:48:16 Reply

At 9/13/10 09:47 PM, DirtyMeatball wrote: "I'm going to go push orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?"

Ahahahaha you sick bastard, you crack me up!


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Lagerkapo
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-27 21:25:45 Reply

The idea that the United States is a democracy.

Republic.

NGMartial Arts Club Are you Man...
MUSIC | or a little, dying cosmic whore...
Speak with your actions, come from your core.

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Urban-Champion
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-27 21:26:47 Reply

6 million dead jews.

sumidiotdude
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-27 21:28:03 Reply

What was the pirate movie rated?

PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.


PM me for info on bears Suhm-Id-Ee-Uht-Dood not Puh-Tur-Oh.
Last.fm

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Shade
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-27 21:28:05 Reply

Philips Cd-I

Jackdabomb
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Response to Best Joke in History? 2010-09-27 21:34:55 Reply

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

"First I come out, wearing a tuxedo, playing Brahms. Just as the music reaches a crescendo, my wife in an evening gown runs on stage and undresses me before dancing provocatively on top of the piano.

Just as I finish playing the song with my cock, my wife strips and does a backflip off the piano in a split on stage. Once her naked ass hits the floor, my 7 year old daughter and 13 year old son rush on stage juggling flaming lawn darts. My wife does a handstand and catches the lawn darts in her cunt, she then manages to queef them out, making her the third part of this juggling act.

The queefs force her to squeeze out a few turds, which I eagerly start smearing on my naked body, which arouses me quickly. Once I'm fully aroused my daughter and son take turns blowing me while my wife straps on a monstrous dildo and begins reaming each child while i ejaculate in the eyes of my offspring.

Once I cum, I run into the audience, shit-covered body still sticky with cum and grab my parents and in-laws to involve them into the act. I strip them all nude and instruct them to start a circle jerk while screaming racial slurs. So my mother and father-in-law start screaming, "Fuck the n*ggers" while mutually masturbating, and my father and mother-in-law begin diddling one another and chanting, "I hate spics and jews!" Once they reach a geriatric climax, my wife uses their ejaculate to lube up her fist which she uses to start fisting me.

As my asshole is violated, I start playing double dutch with my kids, and once they get tangled in the ropes, start a torrid 69. All the sucking and slurping cause my in-laws and parents to get aroused again and they start sodomizing and fisting one another.

My wife at this point has completely started dry-heaving, so she vomits all over my ass and my back. I line up each of my family members who take turns licking the chunks of spew off my back and out of my ass.

By now my children have to defecate so I tell them to shit in each other's favorite orifices. My son, ever the trooper takes a thick, dense shit in his sister's vagina while my daughter shits in my son's nose.

My young daughter also conveniently starts her menstrual cycle shortly thereafter, and the menses and boy-shit in her cunt make for great lube, as each of my in-laws begin fucking my daughter. My son, blinded in shit, heads back to the piano and does his best Stevie Wonder impression while my wife runs back into the audience to grab a toddler from the crowd.

She begins stuffing this child into her vagina, while my parents begin screaming how she's possessed by Satan and start performing a nude exorcism on her. The power of christ compels them to kill the toddler, which also makes it easier to cram into my wife's lovehole.

By now, I'm so horny and aroused that I start fucking the dead baby inside my wife while my young son starts licking my asshole and fingering his paternal grandparents. My in-laws finish abusing my daughter and start wrestling each other, which culminates in a huge powerbomb through the piano bench. The impact shatters my mother-in-law's hips, leaving her crippled.

The strain of the throw caused my father's bad heart to seize, and he collapses in a heap on the stage. As he gurgles and foams at the mouth, my daughter runs over and begins rubbing her shit covered pussy lips all over my crippled mother-in-law.

My wife grabs the wooden shards of the piano bench and begins playing her father's dying body like a xylophone. My son pulls his tongue out of my asshole and begins sucking his dying grandfather's cock.

I diall 911 and call for the paramedics who revive my father-in-law and then take turns fucking my daughter and eating the menses and shit out of her tight cunt.

Once he's conscious we all assemble in a large circle holding hands and chanting gibberish before launching into a rousing group impression of 'A Downs Syndrome' perspective on the horrors of the holocaust, 9/11 and the bombing of Pearl Harbor.

As we're moaning and screaming, my son runs off-stage to get the family dog. The dog runs over to my crippled mother-in-law and begins peeing on her. Once the dog finishes leaving her in a puddle of piss, my daughter stops blowing the paramedics to light the dog on fire.

The dog yelps and howls before collapsing. My son runs over to fuck the burnt corpse while screaming, "White is right!"as my daughter begins goose-stepping around the stage, squeezing shit out of her cunt and offering Nazi salutes to the audience.

My father-in-law begins raping my father, claiming that he's doing it for the forgotten Vietnam vets and POWs. My mother puts my crippled mother-in-law on her shoulders as I put my wife on my shoulders and we play a game of naked chicken.

Once my son finishes fucking the dead dog. He takes the pieces of the piano bench and begins crucifying the corpse. Once the dog is hung like jesus, he begins weeping at the foot of the cross, saying, "Why my god have you forsaken me?"

My daughter mounts the top of the crucifix, using it as a wooden dildo. My parents, my in-laws and my wife join hands at the center of the stage and start singing "The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music"

I grab the lawn darts and shove one up everyone's ass before heading back to the piano to finish off the show with a rendition of Freebird."

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"


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