So me and my girlfriend have been dating for ~2 years, and we even have a baby girl together. Now, to be honest, i have a super complicated and unfulfilled life. I am 19 years old, unemployed, and friendless..and it's pretty much all her fault and i find myself hating her more and more every day for it.
Now, i have tried to talk to her about all of it, and she wants NONE of it. She blows me off and cries each time, leaving my emotions unexpressed because she chooses to turn every conversation into something about her.
I am currently unemployed(so is she), and living with her and her parents. Her parents are always pressuring me to find a job, and accusing me of not trying to find one(i have been trying). On top of all of this, i am not even allowed to see my family due to them having bed bugs and her family being SUPER cautious.
I feel miserable, and i don't know what else i can do to make myself happy other then to leave her..
should i do it, NG?
At 9/13/10 01:48 AM, Piss wrote: Write her a letter about all your thoughts and feelings. See how that works out.
Tried it.
ITT newgrounds throws ideas at me to fix my relationship even though i have tried every possible combination.
After reading that...yes. But this is NG, who can you trust?
At 9/13/10 01:50 AM, Piss wrote:At 9/13/10 01:49 AM, Genocide wrote: ITT newgrounds throws ideas at me to fix my relationship even though i have tried every possible combination.Don't need to be a dick about it.
Wasn't trying to be, was sort of joking.
At 9/13/10 01:54 AM, MuyBurrito wrote: Obviously they're pressuring you to leave her.
Although your response comes off as sarcastic, it's basically what they are doing. I feel as though they think their little girl is too good for me, which is ironic because all of my friends stopped hanging out with me because "i was too good for her".
She was kind of a slut when i first started dating her, and my friends wanted nothing to do with her.
Have sex with her then tell her to get out of your house!
That always works!
i hava bonr mang
At 9/13/10 01:47 AM, Genocide wrote: So me and my girlfriend have been dating for ~2 years, and we even have a baby girl together.
if you want to be that guy that left his girlfriend and baby then go for it.
i mean that ASSHOLE that left his girlfriend to take care of the baby all alone then definitely just go for it.
At 9/13/10 01:47 AM, Genocide wrote: So me and my girlfriend have been dating for ~2 years, and we even have a baby girl together. Now, to be honest, i have a super complicated and unfulfilled life. I am 19 years old, unemployed, and friendless..and it's pretty much all her fault and i find myself hating her more and more every day for it.
Now, i have tried to talk to her about all of it, and she wants NONE of it. She blows me off and cries each time, leaving my emotions unexpressed because she chooses to turn every conversation into something about her.
I am currently unemployed(so is she), and living with her and her parents. Her parents are always pressuring me to find a job, and accusing me of not trying to find one(i have been trying). On top of all of this, i am not even allowed to see my family due to them having bed bugs and her family being SUPER cautious.
I feel miserable, and i don't know what else i can do to make myself happy other then to leave her..
should i do it, NG?
If you leave her, will you find a job and be happy? You probably will still not find work but just won't have anyone nagging about it. That's a bad thing because that takes away a motivator to get a job. Although not having a place to live can be a good motivator to get a job.
You shouldn't be so picky about finding a job either, get one anywhere you can and keep on looking for something better. It's better to look while getting a paycheck.
How are your problems her fault? If she loves you, I'm sure she never intended to do anything that would make you miserable. Maybe you are placing more blame on other people and outside circumstances than you should be. People tend to avoid blaming themselves when bad things happen, but I think you should really consider that you have problems because of choices you made and problems that originated with you. Take some responsibility and try to find a way to avoid the same things from happening again.
I'm sure your resentful feelings toward her don't help with communication, as she can likely pick up on those feelings a bit and doesn't feel very warm toward you either. I think you both need to assess your situations and yourselves and own up to your problems and try to do something to fix them. And support each other, be a refuge from the stresses in each others lives rather than an addition to them.
The sig that I'm wearin? Awesomely made by Skaren!
Also, I like annoying Americans by calling English football "real football" and American football "rugby".-Lost-Chances
You should definitely leave her.
It's hard as you have a child together but the worst thing you can do is stay there and allow that child to grow up seeing her parents unhappy, or more her dad unhappy. You should never stay together just for the kids, and if you want out then that's that.
At least tell her first that you want a break. You can just tell her that you want a week apart as you've been spending so much time together recently. She will probably get upset but it's a healthy thing for any couple to take a break.
Will your parents take you in for a week? If so do that and just see if being apart is what you really what. I'm sure it is and from there perhaps try to sort your life out.
I'm sure your girlfriend will cry, shout, threaten to never let you see your daughter again but if she has to go down to that level then it's obvious the relationship is over. She'll lighter up eventually but yeah it will be painful and brutal to begin with. You can't spend the rest of your life with someone you don't want to be with either. Especially when you're only 19.
Good luck.
[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]
At 9/13/10 01:58 AM, Sensationalism wrote: If you leave her, will you find a job and be happy? You probably will still not find work but just won't... e.t.c.
i agree with him on this,definitely listen to him! :D
At 9/13/10 02:13 AM, Gagsy wrote: You should definitely leave her.
It's hard as you have a child together but the worst thing you can do is stay there and allow that child to grow up seeing her parents unhappy, or more her dad unhappy. You should never stay together just for the kids, and if you want out then that's that.
At least tell her first that you want a break. You can just tell her that you want a week apart as you've been spending so much time together recently. She will probably get upset but it's a healthy thing for any couple to take a break.
Will your parents take you in for a week? If so do that and just see if being apart is what you really what. I'm sure it is and from there perhaps try to sort your life out.
I'm sure your girlfriend will cry, shout, threaten to never let you see your daughter again but if she has to go down to that level then it's obvious the relationship is over. She'll lighter up eventually but yeah it will be painful and brutal to begin with. You can't spend the rest of your life with someone you don't want to be with either. Especially when you're only 19.
Good luck.
My parents would take me in..but they have bedbugs, which is an issue. Bed bugs are almost impossible to get rid of, especially when you are as poor as my family is. That being said, if i ever left to my parents, i wouldn't be welcomed back in this house, and i wouldn't be aloud to see my daughter unless i found a way to move out on my own (and assure them that i do not have bed bugs of my own).
At the guy who called me an "ASSHOLE" for leaving my daughter, shut the fuck up. I never said i was going to stop being in my daughters life, and just because we have a kid does NOT mean we are conjoined at the hip.
Dude, if what you're saying is true... leave her ass.
You say that your friends believe you too good for her, that she was a slut, that her parents are hating on you for everything, that she and her constant bitchiness leaves your emotions unexpressed and your life a wreck.
All are reasons to leave. The only positive thing is that you have a child with her, which complicates everything. Do you leave her, being without her real father and possibly growing up hating you? Or do you stay, with her being raised in an environment where neither parent is happy and she thinks it's normal to always be this sad.
My own experiences say that it's best for both parents, if they are unhappy together, to split up. But don't do it all suddenly. Give your girlfriend fair warning first. Let her know if things do not change, you will leave. If that's what they (she and her parents) want, the sooner the better.
If you want to be there for your child, you should maybe try to her too. Let her know you love her and you'll try to be there for her. If her mom doesn't let you, fight for it.
Hope this helps some.
Life is a performance, and the world is full of critics. Give it your all like it's your last show.
You don't even want to know
Plz Write her a letter about all your thoughts .
This Signature is Super CoOL.
It's very understandable to want to leave her from the sounds of it. Too much stress doesn't do anybody any good. The only thing is if you do leave her at least stay in touch with her for the kid's sake.
Spousal abuse. It is always the answer. Always.
At 9/13/10 01:57 AM, MisterWonderful wrote:At 9/13/10 01:47 AM, Genocide wrote: So me and my girlfriend have been dating for ~2 years, and we even have a baby girl together.if you want to be that guy that left his girlfriend and baby then go for it.
i mean that ASSHOLE that left his girlfriend to take care of the baby all alone then definitely just go for it.
You = Have no idea what you're talking about
NO ONE should ever stay in a relationship JUST for the children.
If he is unhappy then he has a right to leave his girlfriend. He is NOT leaving his child, like he has already said he does want to continue seeing his daughter - if the girlfriend makes it difficult for that to happen then SHE is being the selfish one, and ruining her daughters relationship with her father out of pure bitterness.
He cannot stay in a relationship he is unhappy in. He may have a daughter but he also still has a life and he has a right to himself to live his life too. Especially as he is still so young.
_
I'm sorry but not many people end up with the same person for the rest of their life that they dated at 17. When we grow older we turn into different people, want different people. It's a shame almost (hear me out) that you have a daughter that will bind you both forever now. Of course she is your world now, but you still have the right to live and I'm sure when your daughter is old enough to understand, she would want her dad to be happy too.
My dad stopped loving my mum back when me and my brothers were still kids yet he stayed with her. He cheated once and twice, and a year or so ago they finally split up, which was horrible for us all. I think it would have been better if he left years ago, even when we were still growing up. He could be happy now with someone else as could my mum but instead they are tied together by their long relationship and even though they've split up now my mum doesn't let him have a life and he allows that. It's wrong and that could be you one day.
Not sure what to say about the bedbugs, never been in that kind of situation. I'd say your first point of action would be to go back to your folks with the key goal of finding a job. Once you get a secure one you can think about getting a place on your own.
[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]
Leave her. Although it's incredibly unfortunate that you've got a kid together, if everything you say is true (and even if you've put it in a bad light, it still looks to be incredibly bad for your end) then you've got to leave her - don't let her push the subject away with emotions, man up and tell her that you're leaving, and tell her exactly why. Although chances are, she'll be sobbing uncontrollably, so I wouldn't let that get to you, I'd leave and sort everything out from a distance, put some space between you. Plus, you can go see your parents again, which will probably relieve some of the pressure.
The kid is the wild card in all this, and I doubt you can leave her in the hands of an emotional teenager and her incompetent parents in good faith - but you decide on that one.
All the same, I wish you the best of luck - that's one hell of a situation.
You have a kid with her, you shouldn't leave her.
Marry her. It won't change anything, but it kicks ass when it comes time to do your taxes.
Someday I'll think of something funny to put here...
At 9/13/10 03:32 AM, Jolly wrote: You have a kid with her, you shouldn't leave her.
Does anyone read Gagsy's awesome posts o' incredible wisdom anymore?
We had some good times, Newgrounds.
At 9/13/10 03:36 AM, Greenfrost6 wrote:At 9/13/10 03:32 AM, Jolly wrote: You have a kid with her, you shouldn't leave her.Does anyone read Gagsy's awesome posts o' incredible wisdom anymore?
I do, but that's because I suck her dick at every turn.
Life is a performance, and the world is full of critics. Give it your all like it's your last show.
You don't even want to know
Do whatever you think will make you happy in the long run. If she's the reason why you're unhappy it would only make sense to leave her.
So your a dad? awshum
Even if you really want to leave your GF,what about your baby,she can't take care of all by herself,you'll probably be viewed negatively by your daughter if DID leave your GF.
Emphasis are great!
At 9/13/10 01:49 AM, Genocide wrote: ITT newgrounds throws ideas at me to fix my relationship even though i have tried every possible combination.
if we dont have the solution dont ask it of us
I agree with not staying someone just because you have children together. I think it's better for the kids if their parents are happy, even if they aren't together.
But if you still love her, I think you owe it to the both of you to change things and see if it improves. Really think about how your life will be different if you stay with her or leave. Then choose the option that seems like it would make you the most happy.
The sig that I'm wearin? Awesomely made by Skaren!
Also, I like annoying Americans by calling English football "real football" and American football "rugby".-Lost-Chances
At 9/13/10 01:47 AM, Genocide wrote: So me and my girlfriend have been dating for ~2 years, and we even have a baby girl together.
I should have stopped reading here. You're only 19 and you have a kid together? It's not about you or her anymore - every decision you make should be about that kid.
shoulda put a cap on it.
You ever stop to think that having a kid at <19 just might contribute to you not getting a job?
Exploding genitalia
"Get buttfucked in the mouth." | "Dammit, let me spread my anger, breed my hate!"
Where might you leave her?
Buh dum tish
Get a job, stop living in your girfriend's parents' house, and do something with your life.
You need to clear your head. Have a trip away with your girlfriend where the two of you are alone together. That way you can talk without her running off to her parents. No wonder you want to leave, you live with her parents and have a kid all under the same roof; there's no romance or intimacy in a relationship like that.
If things still seem bleak after you talk with her, end it but make damn well sure you're there for that kid.
Some people feel content to pour syrup on shit and call it pancakes their whole lives.
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