Funny Man

[Jackdabomb]

Here's a poem I made a while back, and criticism is very welcome, but please be constructive. I know some of the rhythms and such don't match up but I couldn't figure out how to do that without taking to much out so if you're going to point that out show me an example because I can't figure it out.
Alright, here goes:

Funny Man

It's impolite to laugh at others but when they are a clown
You laugh at them as they turn your frowns upside down
But yet to them there is a side you cannot see
Under the make up and under the clothes we

Don't know anyone don't know me
Don't know anyone that is my decree

He does what he can he does what he must
But think that there might be more that he lusts
There's more to life that laughs and jokes and wit
So why can't the clown be any part of it

Don't know anyone don't know me
Don't know anyone that is my decree

If he were to act seriously
You wouldn't be
The way that you normally
Are to human beings

Don't know anyone don't know me
Don't know anyone that is my decree

Funny how sadness reaches even funny

[MichaelJ]

You are better off just making a poem that doesn't rhyme than cutting up the poem like that. For this poem, it would be a lot better that way.

[Jackdabomb]

At 8/20/10 04:20 PM, Animator1mike wrote: You are better off just making a poem that doesn't rhyme than cutting up the poem like that. For this poem, it would be a lot better that way.

Thanks for the feedback. That's a great suggestion, I don't really make poems that don't rhyme, that much, so I'm usually more accustomed to coming up with a rhyme (the repeating couplet) and then forming a poem around it. Thanks!