The Old Man

[omegared]

Here's a very generic story I made. I'm looking for people to critique it. My writing is developing, and in this story I just went for omitting unimportant details and keeping the story as tight as I could. It's nothing special.

enjoy
Every weekday at three thirty Edward got in the shower, dressed, and went to work, surely arriving early enough to sit back in the break room and wait to punch in his time card. On his way to work Edward always noticed an old man walking on the side of the street. The old man always wore the same old button up shirt and raggedy jeans; he hunched forward, causing his back to form a pronounced curve; and, most noticeably to Edward, he carried his body as if he was in grieving pain: constantly his face wore a grimace- the simple act of walking appeared a great challenge.
"I hope that man is all right," Edward said to himself. Edward almost pulled over to offer a ride. Edward usually saw him walking the other way, which is how he knew of the pain staking look that remained throughout the mans walk. But Edward drove on and figured that next time he had the opportunity, he would take it.
As Edward drove past, the old man did not notice that it was Edward's car, and he didn't know Edward. He noticed nothing every time he walked except for the grassy ground below which sided the street. The Old Man's bones were jittery and losing much of their ability to move, becoming ripe with arthritis. But everyday, still, the Old Man made his way to a local bar but a few blocks away. He would stand in front of the door and wait for people to beg for any spare change. When he could he'd buy a beer, on good nights a shot. But the bar was a lousy, mostly empty bar with an old jukebox that ate quarters and a broken pool table. The Old Man never walked to the better bars that were miles down the main street of town. The Old Man was in no shape to be drinking heavily; he had a bad liver.
It had happened that the day Edward drove by the Old Man, there happen to be a twenty dollar bill lying on the road near the grassy side. He stopped and looked at it. He did not make any fast movements for it and remained grimacing the whole time eventually bending down, grabbing it, and exhaling a long grunt through out the whole process. He put it in the right pocket of his Jeans and continued in his fashion. When he got to the bar he waited at the front like usual to beg for change.
By the next hour the man had a few quarters, and a twenty dollar bill. The Old Man walked into the bar, the Jukebox was playing Bob Dylan, and he sat at the chair near the back of the bar by the old pool table with a broken corner pocket. Two large gentlemen came in and one remained by the door while the other took a seat next to the Old Man. The Old Man looked to the man sitting next to him and saw his burly arms and dark glasses, and the bartender finally made his way toward the two in the back.
The bartender knew the Old Man for many years and so asked the gentleman in black what he would like first. The man responded that he had a gun and he told the bartender to stay completely still- he signaled to his friend who shut the door of the bar- and if he didn't move no harm would come to him or anyone in the bar. Then the friend went behind the counter to the register. The man at the bar grabbed the Old Man and held a gun to his head. He ordered everyone in the bar to stay still or else the Old Man would die.
The few sitting at tables with beers gave way to shock and ducked under their tables, but the bartender made a dash for the alarm button and his twelve gauge under the table. This infuriated the gunman who pushed the Old Man away, falling rather lightly towards the floor and managed to land on his hands and not hurt himself much. Grabbing a pool stick the gunman ran to and swung it on the bartender who had pushed the button but not yet grabbed the gun. The Bartender feel down and the gunman looked to his partner who just finally figured out the register.
The gunman took the Old Man back into his grasp and told him to walk with him or else, and the old man hunched his way in front of the gun. The sirens of the police cars trailed the car until the two robbers were surrounded at a busy intersection. They came out the vehicle threatening to harm the old man unless they be allowed to pass. The sight of the many guns aimed his way and the gun being held so close made the man give way to his bowls. The gunman slipped on the pee while trying to get back into the vehicle and the old man came tumbling down with him. He dropped his gun trying to brace his fall. The gun fired, and a bullet pierced the Old Man's arm. The gunman's accomplice looked to the fallen and immediately dropped his gun and raised his hands in terror. The two were surrounded at close range and then all three were taken.
In the hospital the Old Man was treated. In court, the two men had turned out to be minors and their parents although not rich were well enough to do. They could not believe that their sons would do such a thing. The Old Man settled the case for all medical expenses and 10,000 dollars because of the traumatic experience he had undergone.
The next month he spent in his condo at the trailer park where he lived. He had gotten it through his father's will. The Old Man began to order out every meal, and he called taxi services to pick him up at his door and take him to the local gentlemen's clubs in the uptown district. The Old Man stood at the front of the walkways and watched the ladies pass him by. He could not remember the last time he smiled and grew red as he did there. He drank at the bar of the club and he spent several dollars on every girl that came and simply tickled his ear. He took girls to the private rooms and came back home every night a very happy Old Man.
This process lasted for a month, and the Old Man never held a grimace on his face.
When a month had past the old man was broke and began his strides again with his grimace. The first day he began to walk to back to his bar Edward drove by and stopped to ask the man if he would like I ride. He pulled to the side of the street, opened his window and said, "Excuse me sir, but I always see you walking this way, and if you needed a ride down the street, I'd be happy to assist you." The Old Man stopped and looked to Edward and not saying anything he walked to the door. He got in the car and said, "Just Jacky's Bar would be fine." On the way Edward asked the Old Man how long he had been in town and what he did now. The Old Man looked blankly in front of him and responded thus: "All I care to do is drink or be surrounded by pretty girls." Edward dropped the Old Man at the bar and vowed to himself never to pick up the Old Man again, for he felt bad to be a part of his drinking.
The Old Man pulled out his last twenty dollars and handed it to Edward as a tip and said "Here, I know you'll use it better than I would. I'd rather it be with somebody who hasn't wasted their life and wait daily for there own death." Edward dropped his stern expression and looked to the Old Man with much empathy. The Old Man walked towards the bar doors and thought of the past when he was a younger man, when he could walk in faster strides and drive a vehicle towards uptown.

[MichaelJ]

There are a few spelling errors. You might want to proof read it.
(like "feel" instead of "fell")
It's okay though, it does get a little boring. You should give better character descriptions.